To Mulan

gilwarrior

Thanks for sending me the information on Asperger's Syndrome (sp?). Well, I have to say that I do have many of the symptoms that were mentioned. In school, math was the only subject that I was good at. It was strange, because most kids I knew had trouble with math. My dad also told me that when I was about 4 years old I could count from 1 to 100 in both English and Spanish.

After kindergarden, I was put in Special Education classes. In kindergerden, I always got in trouble for speaking out and asking up. So my way of dealing with it is that I became quiet and never reacted at all. I suppose that being in Special Education classes was good for me, because I always hung out with the same group of people. However, it all changed when I went to Junior High. I began to withdraw. In High School it got worse. I never really talked to anyone.

Today, well I have no friends since I moved to Las Vegas. There are a few guys that I know in the cab company that I work for, but nothing close. I like I have said before, my problem is that I don't pick up on social cues. When I am with people I tend to be very paranoid and neurotic. I am always wondering how I should act and what I should say. As a result I don't end up talking that much to people and they think that I don't like them, which is not true. And on the other hand, I can do or say the most offensive thing in the world and not realize that I have done something wrong.

I wish that I could go to college, but I am not sure what career I would choose, plus I wouldn't be able to handle the pressure.

Anyway, I wish I could be normal. I see people walking with their friends and spouses or girlfriends or boyfriends. God, I envy them! I wish that could be me.

Well, now that I read this article I am not sure what to do. I would like to talk to a doctor about this, but I am not sure who to go to. Mulan do you know of what kind of specialist I should go to? Anyway, thanks for the information.

StinkyPantz

I recently took a class in school entitled Developmental Psychology (I'm a psych major) and we discussed both Asperger's Syndrome and Autism. Umm, I thought I understood the condition and honestly I question whether you have this. Most people with Autism or Asperger's Syndrome, which is similar to Autism, but less severe are not aware of it. The fact that you wonder leads me to believe that you don't suffer from it. For example, do you have trouble looking people in the eye? Or with people such as your family touching you? Do you get overly obsessed with things? These are some of the symptoms.

You might have what's called 'social anxiety disorder', or if not you could look into it. Here's a bit about it:

Most people feel shy or self-conscious in social situations. Speaking in public, going on a job interview or even asking for a date can make anyone feel shy or anxious. The symptoms are familiar: your heart pounds, your hands tremble or you feel like you have "butterflies" in your stomach. But this type of anxiety is temporary, and once you get through the situation, life goes on as usual.

If your anxiety about social situations is so severe that it disrupts your daily life and relationships to the point where you are sick with worry, you may have social anxiety disorder. Social anxiety disorder is an excessive, persistent fear of social or performance situations.

The basic symptom of social anxiety disorder is of being very anxious in the presence of others. If you suffer from social anxiety disorder, you may think that other people are very confident in public and you are not. Just blushing may feel horribly embarrassing to you, and you may feel like everyone's eyes are always on you. You may feel anxious about giving a speech, talking to a boss or dating.

http://www.degnanco.com/anxiety/main.html

The good thing about this is that it is treatable through therapy and possibly medication. Of course I could be wrong, I haven't gotten my degree yet.

Let me know what you think.

gilwarrior

Hello StinkyPantz. Well, to be honest, I don't know if I have this condition or not. In fact I have misdignosed with so many other ailments that at I am getting to the point where I don't care.

To answer your questions: yes, I do have trouble looking at people in the eye. I have to remember to do it. Basically, any form of human contact makes me nervous. The strange think is that I do want to be around people, but yet, I am afraid of making some kind of mistake around them.

Princess

I sent a link to Mulan. She went with us and all her grandkids to ride the Holiday Carousel in Seattle this evening and hasn't been online.

She really has a lot of info on the syndrome. From what I've read and what she has told me, you don't have to have ALL the symptoms to have it.

Good luck Gil,

Rachel

ugg

no words of advice....just wanted you to know you are being thougt about...((((((gil ))))))

Mulan

Hi Gil. I'm glad the article might be helping you.

One of our grandsons (8 years old) was thought to possibly have it, and they had him tested. Now they don't believe he does have it, but has another learning disability. They took him to a psychiatrist.

I realize it's easy to put a label on something, but we now know our youngest son and his wife have this problem, and they are both grateful to know about it. Our son especially says he always used to wonder what was wrong with him.

You can read online, many things that help with behavioral modification. I think it would be easier to handle as an adult, than as a tempermental, possibly rebellious child, who is dealing with a frustrated parent.

I think it's worth looking into for you. There is no medication to take, and it seems to be all a learned behavior change, that you have to do.

The good news is that there are many prominent people who seem to have this, including Bill Gates. It is also thought that Thomas Edison and Albert Einstein had it.

LDH

(((((((((((GIL)))))))))

We are coming to Vegas again within the next few months. I will email you to hook up.

It is hard to make friends in Las Vegas...the city is a lot like LA in that there are a ton of shallow people there just looking for the "hook-up."

May I suggest volunteering at a local soup kitchen, feeding meals or preparing foods or whatever? If you have the means, volunteer to be a Meals on Wheels driver. The people that you will be delivering meals to are mostly the elderly, and they are very lonely. They would love to have some company, they won't be judgemental, and THEY will probably talk YOUR ears off, Gil.

It will take time and practice, but you can do it.

Lisa

MegaDude

Gil,

If being around people makes you nervous you just have to practice it until it doesn't make you nervous.

Practice relaxing being around people. Breathe deeply and *pretend* you're not nervous.

Don't dispair if your nervousness hangs around. Just say to yourself "I don't give a damn if I am nervous. I'm going to be friendly and have a good time."

Perhaps the first place to get your feet wet socially is a support group for people who have a phobia, or any kind of support group.

I remember meeting you at an apostofest. You seemed friendly but I distinctly remember you didn't say a word to anybody. Now I know why. If I had known, we could have had quite a conversation about this topic. Perhaps next time.

Mum

Hi, gil. I am another "case" of Asperger's, but it is not so apparent anymore. When I was a child, it was a serious problem. The older I get, the more experienced I get, the more failures I experience and ask myself why, the more I understand that my lack of social skills has hurt me immensely and made me into an easy victim too many times.

I hope driving a cab works out for you. It will force you to interact with people and make small talk (something I've always been terrible at, but am learning). E-mail me some time. I visit Vegas from time to time, as my daughter lives there.

gilwarrior

MegaDude, I remember meeting you in Dallas about a year ago. Yeah, you must have seen first hand how I act around people I don't know. Hopefully, we can me again someday. If you ever come to Vegas, send me an e-mail.

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