by nelly1 9 Replies latest jw friends
does anyone here have nightmares about the witnesses after leaving, I seem to be having alot lately, and i cant stand banging into them they terrify me. like if i think i see a person who looks like someone in my cong, and its not just looks like them I have a panic attack......... is that normal and does anyone else experience that? is it a sign of post traumatic stress?
im wondering because that is not normal for me...
Hi Nelly,,,,,,,,, yes what you are experiencing is totally normal. I had nightmares so bad I went to my doctor, he was shocked at the things I told him about being JW. He just said they are very very wrong,,,,,,,,, you need to stay out of that place. That was a year ago.
My nightmares were very frequent when I choose to leave ,,,,,,,, they lasted a few months, and then as my mind accepted the choice I made, the nightmares got less frightening. I don' t have many armeggedon dreams anymore. It seems like one day the dreams just stopped bothing me. I started analyzing them and that helped me to not be so afraid to dream. It really worked and I found out alot about what my true fears were.
For me leaving the JW was pure emotional when it came to the saddness. I didnt care about all the lies and doctrine issues at first, it tore my heart to leave Jehovah. It took me time to realize that I had been in a real cult, was under mind control. My mind was working agaisnt me at first bringing up all the fears the WT had ever instilled in me.
Once I fought back,,,,,,,,lol...... sounds funny , but I had to fight my own inner demons , so to speak, on this, I became more and more free.
Free to think for myself and free of the mind control.
IT takes time , Nelly, I am still working out so many issues. But I can tell you on the road I have been on this last year, the nightmares should end soon......... maybe not all together but they will ease up. Really do alot of meditating on how much you want to be a free thinker and all the things you want out of life and you mind will soon join forces with the side that is still hanging on to JW.
I am having to tell myself this same thing everyday... everyday I still have doubts and fears, but I am able to feel at peace with my choices.
Hope everything works out for you Nelly,,,,,,,,,,,,, if ya ever need to talk, my email is alwasy open,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, hugs, LyinEyes/Dede
Hi Nelly,
I would say that what you are experiencing is a normal phase you will pass through. Remember, you were a JW and you were under the influence of an unhealthy existance.
I've been out since the early 80's, and occasionally, depending upon what's happening in my life, I will have some doozies of dreams, where I wake up shuddering in tears. Back in September, after mom began her shunning again, I had a few. But, with the proper attitude, and not eating too much junk before going to bed, should help a lot.
Nelly I had and still have occasional dreams and nightmares about them. But not nearly as bad as what you're describing. I'm sorry to hear of how you feel. You should talk to your doctor or a professional. Please don't take that the wrong way. But feelings as severe as you are describing need more than just kind words on an internet discussion group.
Mike.
yes,,,,i am exactly the same way,,,,,it is over a year now and i still am being plagued by them...
i needed professional help,,,i am in therapy....doing better,,,but it has been very very tough to say the least...i cannot deal with them on any level....
I had them as well. For many years even. Every now and then I still have one about being at an assembly, knowing that I am not really supposed to be there, and trying like hell to get out early. Of course that happened in reality too. The more you deal with the fear and guilt you may still harbor and the anger that you may aquire the more these dreams will taper off.
yes,,,,i have anxiety and panic attacks.....its a hard thing to bear but mostly i suffer them when in a crowd of ppl ..I think its related to a fear of `worldly people/ society` for me..and in a way also some performance anxiety as either I`m not sure how to be a `normal` person in society or..I think I may be wrong for having an opinion of my own...I found that when I went back to University..the fact of making comments was hard...I could relate that to `answering` correctly at meetings!!! ..I am managing it all a bit better but I have been DF`ed for over 20yrs..!!!!! Good Luck
thank you all so much for the encouragement, and you too dede, i dont know if u remember me i used to chat to you in about.com when you were still a witness, we missed you when it shut down, how is rotty and the kids? e mail me sometime and we can catch up.......hugss
thank you all im glad to know im not the only one, it was starting to worry me that id have these panic sessions in a supermarket its soooo not like me...im not shy or anything, but what they did to me has left terrible emotional and mental scars on me and i think thats why im like that but thanks all of u...
love to all nelly
OMG, I just saw you email addy name, I do remember talking to you, but there were several using that same name or names similar,,,,,,, I am honestly trying to pin point the exact one you are..LOL. Are you the one who sent me the picture? I still have it too.
Omg I am so excited.......... email be back and remind me of all of your details......hugs Dede
((((((((hugs))))))) Nelly my dear friend
You and I are out around the same time and so sweetie all I can say is we're going through the same thing!
So maybe we can talk about things and support one another each day as we go through this withdrawal from JW life.
You know I never expected to have any Armageddon dreams but, I do......I thought if I chose to leave that would be it. Nothing more.
Instead I am finding it difficult emotionally. I cannot believe it at all. I remember a girlfriend when I was in"the Truth" telling me about how there are Ex-Jw Support groups and she was laughing at how ridicules people can be. Back then I have to admit I found it silly myself and now it seems I am getting "a bit of my own back"so to speak.Now I am one of those people who found their whole belief system a lie and a scam.
The emotional part of my mind keeps thinking it must be "The Truth" how can it not be and cries......then another part shows me logically all the facts.....NGO, Pedophilia Cover-ups, Neglecting of Their Poor, Killing People with ever changing light....etc.
I am torn between what I was brainwashed to believe and what is real.It's like being on an ever spinning faster merry-go round at times.
I have to say though Nelly you and I are the blessed ones.We have no JW family. Some have lost even family as well as friends to this controlling manipulative cult.
So although it would seem un-fair..... Fair is a matter of prospective.
I find it ironic that next years year text is in James.....Draw Close To Jehovah And He Will Draw Close To You. Of course they mean through "Slave" but in reality Nelly if that's what we do....they can never NEVER take our Creator and His Son away from us.......although they are FAR removed from Him.
I believe we will heal from this but will GB ever recover from their own delusions when The WTBS fails? This will be very interesting to see.
So you can see it seems scary and un-fair to us......but we can see who truly has things worse.
Gotta love ya Nelly!!
Agape,
Utopian_Raindrops
