Vicar to kids: Santa is Toast

by PurpleV 9 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  PurpleV

  NY Daily News December 12, 2002 (Reuters)

  Vicar to kids: Santa is Toast

  LONDON--A British vicar reduced children to tears and stunned their parents when he said Santa Claus and his reindeer would burn to a crisp while delivering presents at supersonic speed.

  Lee Rayfield shattered the illusions of dozens of children at a school service on Tuesday when he joked in his sermon that Santa and his reindeer would burn up flying at 3,000 times the speed of sound.

  "There were a lot of children there who still believe in Santa, or did so until last night," Sue Smee, who took her 5- and 9-year old sons to the service, told the Daily Mirror yesterday. "It has left us parents with a lot of explaining to do."

  A repentant Rayfield told the Daily Telegraph, "I am mortified and appreciate that I have put some parents in a difficult position with a lot of explaining to do."

  "I love Christmas," he added. He had also pointed out to the children that it was logically impossible for one man and his sleigh to deliver 378 million presents in just 31 hours.
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  searcher

  But EVERYONE knows that Santa has endless night until all the presents are delivered !

  searcher.
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  pettygrudger

  Sending Lee a lump of coal as we speak!!!
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  expatbrit

  Who the hell is he to question Santa? Has he no faith?

  Expatbrit
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  PurpleV

  He had also pointed out to the children that it was logically impossible for one man and his sleigh to deliver 378 million presents in just 31 hours.

  Maybe I should have posted this in the "Child Abuse" forum. Bah humbug!!!!

  Or, maybe we should point out to the Governing Body that it is logically impossible for the number of anointed remnant to INCREASE with each passing year.
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  safe4kids

  "I love Christmas," he added. He had also pointed out to the children that it was logically impossible for one man and his sleigh to deliver 378 million presents in just 31 hours

  Now then, I don't understand why you're all so surprised...after all, Christmas is mainly a time of joy, happiness, love, and connectedness with your fellow humans, which are all emotions. This is from a British man so of COURSE he's only going to focus on the logic!! I think in Britain they routinely perform lobotomies on male children, sorta like circumcisions here

  Dana (*ducking and running before she gets smacked, laughing all the way HEY!*)
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  expatbrit

  BAH! HUMBUG!
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  safe4kids

  I rest my case.

  Dana *sauntering off feeling immensely pleased with herself*
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  Big Tex

  You mean there's no Santa Claus?
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  PurpleV

  Big Tex, and everyone

  Of COURSE there's a Santa Claus. Oh, you may have skeptics, who will point to the "facts" and use twisted logic to convince you that the earth is round and Santa is impossible. But I am here to tell you, there IS a Santa Claus!

  I first met Santa about 24 years ago, when I was about 20 and had done the "fade". My new worldly BF bought me some jewelry and his family got me neat sweaters and stuff. When my parents saw my loot and went ballistic, it helped cement my exit. I had more love in one evening than I'd had all my life.

  Santa re-appeared in 1994, when I joined a church and saw the beautiful Christmas put on for the homeless. Food, lots of FOOD, good food too, turkey, stuffing, mashed, GIFTS, pie, caroling. I saw hope and love on burned out NYC faces that had seen suffering I could not imagine. They went on to sleep in our homeless shelter.

  Yes, many of us remember the pagan origins of Christmas and becry the commercialism of frantic gift-giving and say, "Bah, humbug! I hate Christmas!" That is understandable, even expected. But that doesn't affect Santa Claus. Santa has visited all of us at one time or another. Santa isn't limited to Christmas. Who do you think was behind that wonderful college graduation celebration? Who do you think quietly arranged for your surprise birthday party? Who else would have the patience to hold your head as you rode the porcelain bus when you got drunk as a skunk when you realized the Lie? Only Santa. And I love him very much.

  MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!