Well friends, it seems to be over. Some of you may remember I fell in love with a JW (before I had ANY idea of what I was getting into). It's been almost two years ago and I tried every way I could think of to see what she sees, historically, doctrinally, evangelistically, liguistically, every way but realistically. I got close enough at one point that she actually said she wanted to go through with me all of the information I had gathered in my research. In hindsight maybe I should have done it, after having tried for so long, but I declined. My thinking was that if she had questions then she should go find the answers, then maybe those answers would be far more credible than following any of my conclusions. She admitted she doesn't know how to research or study like that but I just tried to encourage her every way I could with much love and patience. Looking back at the record, she never did anything that she so encouraged me to do, I hate to say it but that's very hypocritical. It all boils down to I'm not a witness and therefore a worthless pile, specifically according to the teachings. It has been incredibly frustrating to study with them, ask legitimate questions, and get the SAME answers over and over. They simply are lost one you think of something that's not on the WT pages. I even would volunteer the answers beforehand hoping to actually PROGRESS, to no avail. If they didn't get angry you could plainly see they just dismissed me as insincere, prideful, totally lost and unsaved...in other words a bad association. I am still amazed at the consistency, none of which I consider to their credit. I am finally realizing that they are the bad association, for ME. I've done everything I've been asked except believe that the WT is God, which, as you all know, is unacceptable, unless the WT says otherwise...which they DO if the context calls for it. Rare form don't you think? that they would give even the least regard to context. I'm finally letting myself be angry, which I'm told is required for healthy healing. I won't go overboard, but it really is a comfort to rattle off this stuff to people who actually understand.
I do want to add that because I never was a JW I don't fully understand...if I've spoken in a way that sounded aloof I'm really sorry. I did the homework and figured it out before I was required to stuff my head up my butt in the name of Jehovah. I feel terrible that many of you spent so much time under the influence and wasted so much of your life...or rather had it wasted for you while you tried so hard to do the right thing. I do not attempt to set myself above you for recognizing early on the light and loving provisions for what they were, instead, I'm sure I'm the foolish one for continuing on after I figured it out. I sure do miss her. Thank you for listening.
Gig