Chip on the Shoulder

by simplesally 8 Replies latest jw friends

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  simplesally

  I can say in all honesty that I am not a prejudiced person. I deal with people of all colors, races, sexes, religous creeds and sexual preferences in the same manner at my job. What bugs the CRAP out of me is whenever I see white people have a difference with a person who is black, the black person automatically thinks that its a RACISM issue.

  Today, I asked a gentleman for his insurance information for the finance company. When he informed me he was paying cash, I said I was sorry and that I didn't his information then. He strictly informed me I did need it and that I needed to change it for him. I said, "Sir, I can't do that. You need to ask your agent, I cannot change your policy for you," He got all irate started screaming on the dealer showroom, "I can't! I can't!" He would not settle down.

  Then later, I asked if he wanted to finish his paperwork or would have the saleman do it. He told me it depended on whether or not I could or not. I said, "Sir, do you want to move on or not." Then he asked me if I had a problem with black people!!

  I said, "I don' t have a problem with black people, I have a problem with you. In fact, I have gotten mad at white people and black people. I have no problem with your race, just your personality."

  I KNEW he was going to make it a race thing. A CHP was in our dealer at the same time and he came to me and said that he pulls over people of color and the same thing happens and they go to the judge and say they got pulled over because they were black. The judge says, "were you speeding?" "Yes" and they have to pay the fine.
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  LuckyLucy

  This is a major pet peeve with me also. When a cop pulls them over (just watch Cops) and they struggle when they are trying to cuff them ..they cry racism!! Sorry dude but if;you resist arrest your deserve to get the Sh#t kicked out of you.Another problem i have is these black sit-coms that get away with saying "Whitey". Sick of these double standard

  MLK...was a phoney!!

  Edited by - LuckyLucy on 5 December 2002 18:58:50
• 

  kelpie

  I think there is good in all people and that if you use your colour to advance yourself (whether you are black white yellow or pink with purple pokeadot) it is a cop out.

  Be true to yourself
• 

  maxwell

  There was a book written recently by a black guy about the fact that many black people have this "culture of a victim". Right now, I can't remember the title or the author. Many black people were outraged by it, but I tended to agree with him. And when I discussed that subject with a few black people I knew they tended to disagree with me. I have to agree that many times I have seen people of my race quick to blame racism any time something doesn't go their way. 'It's the man' 'They're trying to keep us down' 'We can't pass the SAT or ACT (these are college entrance exams in the US) because it's geared towards white people.' That last one in particular really ticked me off. Because in effect what they are really saying is that white people are inherently smarter than us. I passed the ACT sufficiently on the first go and I'm sure I could have gotten much higher scores on it if I had taken it a again and prepared even more for it. And many others do. And why do Asian people tend to do even better on it? In this area and others, sometimes people will approach situations with the expectation of failure and with perceived or real excuse in hand. Therefore they don't even try. Black people aren't the only ones who do this. It's just that many times black people have the same excuse for not trying. Other people's excuses might be: the boss or teacher doesn't like me. My parents didn't love me enough. I'm just not smart enough. The JW messed me up... etc. I refuse to go along with that approach to life.

  On the other hand, I can understand many black people's bleak outlook on life although I don't agree with it. The fact is that the United State's ugly history of racism runs deep and whether you believe it or not, we are all still feeling the effects of its past ugliness. Also it still exists to some extent. The cards are still stacked against black people and other minorities in this country, and even with affirmitive action, whether you agree with it or not, minorities will have a harder time trying to get an education and be successful economically in this country. Race conditions here are MUCH better than in the past and I think they are still getting better but the problem exists. Resentment for past and present disadvantage exists and causes people to have some peculiar behavior. My dad even told me once that white people are racist. Sorry dad, that's just not true. That one goes in there with such general statements as "Wordly people don't care about you". Does that excuse the behavior of the man sally encountered? Not at all. Does that mean that anyone is doomed to be on welfare and live in poverty because of racial, economic or other disadvantage? ABSOLUTELY NOT.

  I am aware of my disadvantages, racial and otherwise, and I work to over come them. Many of us have disadvantages to overcome. Yes I'm black, and I may have to work 3(an arbitrary number) times as hard. So that's what I did. Just like the person who is handicapped and who may have to work 4 times as hard. They don't have to sit at home and cry over themselves. Many do the extra work and make a contribution and are successful at something. I feel very fortunate to live in a country and at a time where this is possible.

  Sally, sounds like you handled the situation well. When people have a prejudice or prejudgment, we can either affirm or negate it by our actions. If the prejudice is negative and directed at us, hopefully we can prove them wrong by our actions as you seemed to do. Basically that's what I think this guy had. He had a preconceived notion or prejudice that you were out to harm him in some way. I try to approach all people with the expectation that they are nice and courteous, and hopefully they prove me right. And hopefully I live up to that basic expectation of others.

  Maxwell
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  Mary

  And don't forget the trump card player, Johnny Cockroach who blamed racism on poor old OJ being framed for murdering his wife.......yes, it was a bunch of KKK members, disguised as LA police officers who schemed and planted evidence and tried to frame poor OJ.........I'd like to know what Johnny Cockroach would have done if Mark Furhman had've been black instead of white..........His motto should have been:

  If I'm full of shit

  You must aquit.
• 

  wednesday

  Or , the guy was just an Ahole who likes to throw his weight around and take advantage and scare other prople. those come in all colors.
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  Billygoat

  Although I'm not black, I've encountered racism pretty much all my life. Being half-Japanese and living in the midwest, I was always called "China girl" or "Jap". When I moved to Hawaii, I thought I wouldn't have to deal with racism since so many there are Asian and Polynesian mixed. But I was wrong. People only saw that I was half-Caucasian. I couldn't win. LOL!

  I've always wondered:

  When a black man stands up and says he's proud of his heritage and wants to do everything he can to keep his race "pure", people stand and applaud. But when a white man stands up and says he's proud of his heritage and wants to keep his race "pure", it's called racism.

  Why is that?
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  Prisca

  When a black man stands up and says he's proud of his heritage and wants to do everything he can to keep his race "pure", people stand and applaud. But when a white man stands up and says he's proud of his heritage and wants to keep his race "pure", it's called racism. Why is that?

  I often wonder why it's ok for black people to refer to "my people", "my bruthas" and such, yet if white people referred to other white people as "my people", or "my bruthas", everyone would be screaming at him for being a "racist".
• 

  teenyuck

  Maxwell, I think you wrote a great post.

  I live in a middle class neighborhood and on my court there are 3 minority families...out of 6 total families. We (my husband and I) have invited them for barbeques at our home, parties with other neighbors (many of whom are not white) and to holiday get togethers with neighbors and other friends. They all refuse.

  The family directly next door is black. They moved from Atlanta and he is a VP at a major bank. He hates white people. It comes out in his attitute towards us and any white people he sees. He spits when neighbors walk by on the sidewalk. He refuses to wave when I wave. His kids (two girls and 1 boy) look away and ignore when I wave at them. His wife tries to cover for his behavior by saying he is always working and they cannot come over on the weekends. We stopped inviting. Which probably gives him self-righteous indignation that we are somehow racist. I give up. What am I supposed to do to be a nice neighbor?

  The other black family (who live across the street) are friendly....to a point. They wave and say hello, however, they refuse every invitation. At least I don't feel the anger that I feel with the first guy. They seem well off....he drives a Lexus and she drives an Infiniti. BTW, they do not hang with the neighbor next door. I think the first guy scares people with his obvious dislike.

  The third neighbor, two doors down, is from Pakistan or India. They refuse to say hello or wave to anyone. They keep all their blinds drawn and again, refuse all invitations. He is a computer consultant, so I am sure they speak English. You cannot function in central Ohio without knowing some English.

  I can understand if you just don't like your neighbors or have nothing in common. However, how do you know if you refuse all contact and never find out? We hang out with a group of other neighbors. Out of 10 families, 2 are black. No one ever seemed to care that they are not white. They are fun to be around. I don't care what color they are.

  I wish neighbor #1 would see the light and be happy he is alive, has a beautiful wife, a great job and that I am not trying to keep him down. I just want to be a nice neighbor.