This really happened to me a couple of years ago. We laugh about it now, but it wasn't the least bit funny when it was happening....
The Great Christmas Turkey Fiasco of the New Millennium
The Christmas before last, hubby and I were still separated, but we had just started talking about a reconciliation. I was scheduled to work from 7pm on Christmas Eve to 7am on Christmas morning. I was pleasantly surprised to receive an anonymous gift basket (I still have no idea who is responsible for having sent it) .... a humungous thing, filled with groceries, cookies, candies, candles, etc. whatever you can think of for a nice Christmas dinner. Including a 15-pound turkey. Frozen solid. I had no freezer, except for the itty bitty thing at the top of my fridge in the apartment, and it was still almost a week until Christmas. I asked hubby to keep the turkey in our freezer at his place until the 23rd, and then gave him instructions to thaw it out in the fridge so it would be ready to pop in the oven on Christmas morning when I came home from work and after the kids opened their presents, and then we'd have Christmas dinner together with the kids later after I had a chance to catch a couple of hours' worth of sleep.
When I got home from work on Christmas morning, I was advised that "everything was under control" and that all I needed to do was go home and get some sleep. Dinner was going to be ready at 4pm.
At this point I should have been afraid. Very afraid. But I was too tired to think clearly, so off to bed I went. When I got up at 3, I was very surprised that nobody had called to ask "how do you make stuffing?" or "do you roast the potatoes in the same pan that you are using to roast the turkey?". Still, I was unphased and clueless. I was actually rather pleasantly surprised that apparently hubby had finally taken some initiative in the kitchen. I had a shower and started getting ready for dinner.
At 3:30, my phone rang. It was hubby. He was dropping off the kids. "I thought we were going to have Christmas dinner together with the kids?" I was puzzled.
Finally, he confessed. He had forgotten to take the turkey out of the freezer on the 23rd, so he took it out on Christmas Eve, and decided to try to thaw it out in the oven. It was burnt on the outside and still frozen in the middle at 5pm on Christmas Eve when all the stores had closed. It was now almost 4pm on Christmas Day. I had nothing that could be used to substitute. I was so upset (read, LIVID) that I couldn't even speak. The kids came up to the apartment, hungry from not having had anything to eat all day.
We had scrambled eggs and toast for Christmas dinner.
Oh, but the story is not finished. Not by a longshot. A couple of days later, my estranged (oh boy was he ever estranged!!) husband called and asked me what he could do with "all this leftover turkey". I was still mad. "What leftover turkey??" I asked. "Oh, well I decided to try the turkey after all for Christmas dinner, and it wasn't half bad," he replied.
This time, my simmering-for-two-days bad mood came to a full boil. You mean to tell me that you made your children and the mother of your children have scrambled eggs for Christmas dinner while you ate a whole *&^%ing 15-pound turkey by yourself??? A whole *&^%ing turkey that didn't even belong to you in the first place?? You can stuff the *&^%ing leftovers up your *&^%ing @$$ for all I care!! That is the most *&^%ing selfish stupid thing I've ever heard in my life!! and then I called him a stupid *&^%ing cannibal and hung up the phone, slamming it down really hard. We didn't speak for weeks, except for necessary business with the kids. When we finally did talk about what happened rationally, he admitted to screwing up Christmas royally for everybody (gee, ya think??) and vowed that it would never ever happen again.
At Thanksgiving, hubby said he was thankful that I didn't kill him over that incident. He figured he had it coming to him. LOL
PS to Farkel: See?? I'm not "Always Nice".
Love, Scully
Edited by - Scully on 25 November 2002 12:46:12
