From the Pope

by openminded 8 Replies latest jw friends

  • openminded
    openminded

    Pope John Paul II Declares Himself
    Immortal

    by Thomas Zartregu


    VATICAN CITY (AEP)

    -- In a Papal decree published Monday, John Paul II proclaimed the doctrine of "Physical Immortality" of the Sovereign Pontiff. From now on, the bishop of Rome will "possess the temporal immanence with which the Divine Redeemer wished His Church to be endowed."

    For many Catholics, the new dogma comes as a stinging refutation to recent rumors which described the Pope as lacking the necessary faculties for his charge. "On the contrary, John Paul II can now preside over the destinies of the Church for centuries to come," said Jean-Marie Lustiger, archbishop of Paris.

    Lustiger has recently made contact with the mayor of Paris in order to prepare the celebrations of the Pope's centenary, which will occur in 2020.

    Several historians have pointed out that physical immortality is not the first supernatural faculty with which a sovereign pontiff has equipped himself. In 1870, the First Vatican Council granted Pope Pius IX the power of infallibility by a majority of 535 votes out of 1,084 invited bishops. As a matter of fact, it is that same infallibility which now enables John Paul II to promulgate the new dogma without going through the formality of a council.

    Among the few dissenting voices, some left-wing Christians have declared themselves "dismayed" by the Pope's initiative. "This will be interpreted by the secular media as an exclusionary decision," fears Vronique Lestrade, 54, president of the Belgian "Christianisme et Dialogue" foundation. Mrs. Lestrade suggests extending physical immortality to all willing practicing Catholics, "provided they are up-to-date on their financial contributions to the Church."

    Still, Catholic commentators estimate that the new doctrine is only a necessary prolongation to the Christian faith, which affirms that on Judgement Day, everyone will receive an inalterable body. As the Italian theologian Divo Barsotti explains it, the Pope joins those of which Jesus said in Luke 9:27: "I tell you the truth, some who are standing here will not taste death before they see the kingdom of God."

    And the believers remember that the body of Pope John XXIII is said to have the appearance of freshness, although he is clinically dead. According to Divo Barsotti, John Paul II will be miraculously preserved as well, but while still alive.

    Cardinal Josef Ratzinger, in charge of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith at the Vatican, said during a recent interview that the latest decree is only the first of many doctrinal changes to come. Some sources even say that the Pope will soon provide a definite answer to the thorny question of papal omnipotence.

    But these new texts are still in preparation. Prostrate on his desk, John Paul II now devotes himself entirely to prayer and contemplation. According to his entourage, the concentration of the Pope is such that he has not made any movement in three days.

  • Francois
    Francois

    You gotta be kidding me!

  • shera
    shera

    !!!

  • FlyingHigh
    FlyingHigh

    Unstinking real! The difference between the pope and the FDS is that while the pope says outright that he is infallible the FDS say they are fallible but expect what they write as coming directly from God. In fact they often say we have the Watchtower thus God is still speaking to us.

    Made up with your parents lately Openminded?

  • openminded
    openminded

    My parents owe me punitive damages for interferring in my right to pursue happiness as guaranteed in the Constitution of the United States of America (they took away my opportunity to play sports in high school). I also think that the law would award me reparations (by a civil jury) for the assaults and battery I was subjected to as a child. So until that happens, there will be no "making up". om

    REPARATIONS NOW!!!

    REPARATIONS NOW!!!

    REPARATIONS NOW!!!

    Edited by - openminded on 19 November 2002 17:1:8

    Edited by - openminded on 19 November 2002 17:2:2

  • Beast
    Beast

    That's a funny site.I like the Onion better but some of their stories are good.

    Pope John Paul II Crys Tears of Joy
    After Finding His Missing Hat



    by Elroy Willis


    VATICAN CITY (EAP)

    -- Amid the recent talk of Pope John Paul II stepping down come rumors of not only failing health, but of a failing memory as well.

    Most recently, he was seen bent over in frustration as he felt on top of his head and realized that he'd misplaced his hat. (See photo at right).




    "I don't remember where I put my hat," he was recently heard mumbling to himself over and over as he wandered around looking for his favorite Holy Headwear.

    Papal aides say the Pope offered two days off with pay and promised to put in a good word to God for anyone who could locate his missing hat.

    "It was like a treasure hunt," said 42-year-old Joseph Castillo, Vatican chef, who found the hat in the back of a freezer behind a carton of peach sherbet.

    "I think maybe he snuck down to the kitchen to have a snack and for some reason he put his hat in the freezer. Or maybe someone was playing a joke on him," Castillo said.



    Overjoyed by the return of his hat, he broke down into tears and cried like a baby.

    Seen at left, wearing the missing hat and clutching a hankey, it's obvious that it was a very emotional experience for the aging Pope.




    "He hugged me and said 'God Bless You' over and over," Castillo said. "I'm looking forward to my two days off, and thank God that I was the one who found the Holy hat."

    Vatican officials say that they're relieved to have this missing hat incident over with. "We were worried that some Pope-Groupie might've stolen the hat," they said.

  • Kenneson
    Kenneson

    I thought Pope of Eureke would have made his pronouncement by now. The faithful await.

  • FlyingHigh
    FlyingHigh

    OK om, I understand your point. Who knows maybe someday they will see the real light. If they sincerely apologized would you let them off the hook?

  • PopeOfEruke
    PopeOfEruke

    Don't worry everybody! Found the hat! Stopped Crying! Everythings back to normal!

    First I asked Grandma if she would loan me her hat:

    Then she said I had left my hat on her toilet seat, and thats where I found it.

    Pope

    PS Oh and I used to be infallible, now I'm just perfect.

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