http://technicianonline.com/read/tol/extra/006343.html
Personally, I don't care who's who and what used to be -- every religion should be looked at with respect and reverence. That said, the Jehovah's Witnesses are far too easy a target.
They've predicted the end of the world so many times that no one even knows what to say anymore. They have to keep firing people who predict the world's going to end. "Um, he read those scrolls wrong -- he meant to say the world would end in 2011." Then 2011 rolls around and the story changes.
"That last guy was clueless. We found out later he couldn't even read."The Lighter Side of Religion
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By: Ben Kraudel [more articles by author]
November 13, 2002
It's normally on Sundays that I begin to think about religion. My roommate gets up and goes to church, but I lie in bed until around three in the afternoon before getting up and wondering why wasting so much of the day feels so good. Then there are about 15 minutes in the shower wondering if God is mad at me, then justifying my actions with how for at least a solid half-hour I'll feel well-rested.
It's on these slow Sundays that I remember growing up psuedo-Catholic. I went to a private Catholic school until I was about eight and still considered myself to be Catholic until high school. It's still the answer I give people when they ask about my religion. It takes less time than explaining that I love and respect everyone and their religious culture. People find Catholicism easier to fathom.
I told people in high school that I was a "non-practicing Catholic" because I liked the way it sounded. It sounds like other Catholics sit at home and practice genuflecting at even the inkling of a religious statue. Sort of like a western shoot-out.
There were incidents where I would be at a football game or a play, about to go out and do my best at something, when someone would suggest we say the Lord's Prayer. Inevitably, someone would look at me and say, "Oh, wait. You're a Catholic, right? Don't you guys pray to Mary?"
It was offending the first time that happened. Eventually I got used to it and just took the time to explain it, quickly and without being too patronizing.
"Yeah, I'm Catholic," I would say. "We don't always pray to Mary. It's like when we think something isn't important enough to merit God's time, we leave it with her. She's like God's secretary ... and as far as the Lord's Prayer goes, we wrote it."
Religion sometimes turns into a game of cards where you can trump. Protestants aren't really dealt any trump cards. Catholics can always say, "Yeah, you know your religion? It came from my religion." Then Jews can say to both, "Um. Ditto." Then eastern religions can just show up and say, "Our God's older than your God." Pretty soon, everyone is trying to out-trump the other.
Personally, I don't care who's who and what used to be -- every religion should be looked at with respect and reverence. That said, the Jehovah's Witnesses are far too easy a target.
They've predicted the end of the world so many times that no one even knows what to say anymore. They have to keep firing people who predict the world's going to end. "Um, he read those scrolls wrong -- he meant to say the world would end in 2011." Then 2011 rolls around and the story changes.
"That last guy was clueless. We found out later he couldn't even read."
When I was 16, I started reading the Teachings of the Compassionate Buddha. The first thing I noticed was a parable titled, "The Parable of the Mustard Seed." I then picked up a Bible and flipped until I found Jesus of Nazareth relating a Parable of the Mustard Seed. I then began to wonder how long these two people would have lasted in this day and age without someone getting sued ... and would Johnnie Cochran represent Jesus or Buddha?
"Your Honor, if the man's a Jew, he wrote it new."
Several Christian holidays used to be pagan holidays. Go read it, because I don't want to waste time with a history lesson here. It's true, though. Easter, Christmas, Halloween ... it's like the church wanted to find a way to make pagans convert more easily. "Oh, look, we have the same holidays. Here's something shiny and a chocolate rabbit. Let's go hunt for eggs. Oh, and believe in Jesus."
So, the pagans stopped having random sex in the woods and came into the church, looked up and saw a huge ornamental cross with a man bleeding on it.
"Are you sure this is the group we should join?" says Pagan number one.
"Shut up!" replies Pagan number two. "That tree over there is covered with candles and has a box with my name on it."
I intended to poke fun at several religions, because I think that anything taken too seriously is dangerous. Hopefully no one is offended; my intention is not to incite a riot. Religion is important to people, but so is not taking it so seriously that you can't see the rest of the world. Surely whatever God there is has a sense of humor ... hehehe ... right, Big Guy?