housebuilding

by teejay 5 Replies latest jw friends

  • teejay
    teejay

    Vernon Jordan is a very close friend of William Jefferson Clinton, former President of the United States. In America, mostly due to media interest in President Clinton's personal life during his Administration, the average American knows what Jordan looks like but little else. Vernon Jordan -- until the publication of this book, anyway -- is not well known. Not at all.

    C-SPAN carried an interview following the recent publication of his autobiography "Vernon Jordan Can Read -- A Memoir." The interviewer's last question was: "To whom do you attribute your success?" I like Mr. Jordan's answer.

    He spoke of all the people, starting with his parents who challenged (and then helped guide) him to reach his full potential, and all the others who help him build his successful and happy life -- the kindergarten, grade school and all the other teachers; the advisors at the local YMCA where he grew up. In all, he named about thirty people. His answer reinforced what I have come to know thru experience: it takes many kinds of people, each with their own talents and tools, to build a house. In a very similar way, it takes the help of many others if we are to make the most of the time we have of building a better life for ourselves... and the more help we get, the better.

    Ex-JWs, particularly those like me who were cursed to have spent their formative years in The Truth(tm), missed out on much of the help that we could've gotten in the building of *our* house. Yes, we can start today to make up for some of the lost time, but as with the literal construction of a house, if the bricklayers, the concrete contractor, the electricians and plumbers, the framers and sheet-rockers have come and gone... the house we end up with isn't likely to be as sturdy as what might have been had we been able to take advantage of their expertise... especially if we're now having to do all this stuff ourselves.

    As adults we can "make do," of course, and many of us *are* doing well -- considering the circumstances. Still, I can't help but wonder if part of the dysfunction that seems to exist in the ex-JW community (and far too-often seen on open forums like this one) can be laid on the fact that we didn't get the help we needed in building a better 'house' long time ago. The way I see it, there's really no way around at least WONDERING.

  • pettygrudger
    pettygrudger

    Houses built on sand..........excellent post Teejay -

    But at the same time, I wouldn't limit this to just x-JW's. I think society in large has alot of issues with building sturdy houses for our children.

    I also think many who grew up as JW do have the ability to tear the house down & start over, keeping some of the materials that are still "good" and reusing them to construct a stronger home. I hope I have, at least I continue to try.

  • Pete2
    Pete2

    TJ, you are one special guy. How is your precious little girl?

    Loved your post ... I, too, have often wondered "what if?"

    I now have a mantra that goes: "Don't look back; deal with today; and trust going forward!"

    The best to you, TJ.

    the enigmatic Pete2

  • larc
    larc

    Teejay, you know that I love you with all of my heart. With that said, I do disagree with your analogy betwean a house and a person. A house is a rigid structure that has be disassembled. A person as an organism, can modify itself slowly over time.

  • freedom96
    freedom96

    I think every one of us can take something that happened to us, and us it to our advantage. True, we may have missed out on some things, but like posted above, we can all start over, but I would add: with experience.

    We can take our experiences, and pay close attention to those in our sphere of influence now, and become the best we can be, learn the most we can, and take that and remain positive, and continue to grow in our lives.

  • Pete2
    Pete2

    Hey larc, it's Pete2, remember me? One of your favorite people!

    I don't understand your objection to TJ's analogy.

    A house is a rigid structure that has be disassembled. A person as an organism, can modify itself slowly over time.

    Why can't one make a metaphor of a house being a living organism? A house seems to grow from the earth. Some believe a house contains the energies and memories of those who have lived in it. Isn't it creative to draw parallels -- a childhood; a house -- between a good foundation and a bad one?

    Here's a few examples of what I mean.

    The poet May Swenson wrote:

    Body my house
    my horse my hound
    what will I do
    when you are fallen

    Or how about George Fox, founder of the Society of Friends (Quakers):
    "The Lord showed me ... his people were his temple, and he dwelt in them.

    And as the Italians say: "sistemare i propri affari" (set your house -- or life -- in order). Which probably comes from 2nd Kings 20:1 -- "Set thine house in order."

    And ol' Abe Lincoln said about the Civil War, "A house divided cannot stand." Once again referring to scripture.

    And since we're on the subject of the Bible, don't forget Pro. 9:1 -- "Wisdom hath builded her house, she hath hewn out her seven pillars."

    And of course, there's Jesus' parable at Mt. 7: 24 -- 27, that those who listened to his sayings were likened to the man who built his house upon the rock mass; those that built them on sand were likened to fools.

    (Too much Bible? I could have used a more extensive secular education.)

    Anyway this is getting too long, gotta go. Gotta think outside the box/ bun / cheese sandwich, baby!

    My tuppence.

    the enigmatic Pete2

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