Just wanted to talk about two odd DF'ing experiences I had; which gave me the 'personal' lesson that there are some in the WT who are definitely not militants when it comes to the whole disfellowshipping regime...
Passing ships in the night - the irony
Quite a while back, a brother turned up at my last congregation, he came to a few meetings and then I didn't see him for several weeks, and all of a sudden comes the announcement, he got DF'd. Anyway months later he starts attending meetings. I was an attendant at the back of the hall a lot in this period and several times had to hand him a copy of the WT if he didn't have one during the study. Most times I would sort of lean over and put my hand on his shoulder and give him a gentle but firm squeeze to get his attention while giving him the magazine; I don't know, I felt sorry for him and was trying to find a way to show him with an act of affection that he wasn't hated, as I never warmed to the whole DF'ing arrangement.
well fast forward many months and he's finally reinstated, joy of joys, I could talk to him, and we got on pretty well, and I liked the kind of person he was.
so fast forward a few more months, and guess what? yep, I'm now the DF'd one... So in the early days, not having received the organisation's 'So you've been disfellowshipped, now what?' instruction brochure ... i'm still trying to figure out how to act when I see brothers in the street etc..
Low and behold, one day I'm leaving work, turn the corner and here's this ex DF'd now reinstated brother, in field service garb, walking straight towards me; we looked at each other and I tell you what, there was not one bit of hatred, animosity, unkindness, or displeasure or anything negative in his eyes. He almost had a look that seemed to say 'I know exactly what's going on, I understand'... Then we walked past each other... the irony of it... we swapped places, with such a short friendship in between, it left me feeling pretty weird. I had expected to feel real tension when I would meet with brothers I knew, but that one proved me wrong.
another one;
The disobedient compassionate brother
I got a nice surprise the other day. I was taking a stroll during my lunch break on a quiet deserted street just beside a cemetery, and a pizza delivery guy on a motor bike pulls up next to me, takes off his motorbike helmet, revealing his face. it was a brother that used to be in the congregation; moved on but still a JW. He asked me how I was and I was really hesitant because this is the first time a witness I know has spoken to me in so long; I was taken aback and stumbled to make conversation. I asked him if he knew I was DF'd and he said 'yes but it doesn't matter, I'm speaking to you as a friend', he then tried to find out what happened and said, that if I wanted to come back, come back for Jehovah and 'not the brothers', I could have broken down in tears right there and then... he asked me if I am happy and I struggled to answer because I didn't want to explain what I've experienced since leaving the org, it would have taken too long. Well, he said goodbye to me, shook my hand and we went our separate ways.
Thing about this brother is that when he was in my congregation, he was ridiculed, vilified, mocked, by a lot in the congregation...a bit of an ugly duckling metaphorically, and was treated as an outcast by his own JW family for this. Once he sent a mass text message inviting brothers in the congregation to subscribe to JW-match, which I understand he did in total innocence just trying to help single brothers and sisters, I guess he didn't see what was coming because he was reported to the elders and I never saw him again, and nobody talked about him either; Weird.
Maybe all that mistreatment turned him into a very compassionate person... it touched my heart so deeply that he would take the time to stop and talk to me, he said he had spotted me taking walks before and wanted to talk to me.... I wonder if he's been DF'd before? After this experience some of my animosity towards brothers cooled a bit. Amazing what 'one' act of kindness can do.
Even though I have not had any contact from my mother, my 'best' friends, my sister and her children since being disfellowshipped, I see there are still some compassionate ones fully in there who are not willing to let the GB dictate how they show love.