"Tis Ones' For Me"

by DevilsAdvocate_DA 1 Replies latest jw friends

  • DevilsAdvocate_DA

    Some might have heard some of these thoughts, enjoy again, other will learn to appreciate them.

    "Great Truths About Growing Old"

    Growing old is mandatory; growing up is opional.

    Insanity is my only means of relaxaton.

    Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.

    I'm getting old when I get the same sensation from a rocking chair, that I once got from a roller coaster.

    One of life's mysteries is now a two pound box of candy can make a person gain five pounds.

    Every time I think about exercise, I lie down till the thought goes away.

    God put me on earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Fight now I am so far behind, I will live forever.

    It's frustration when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.

    I finally got my head together, and then my body fell apart.

    There cannot be a crissis this week; my schedule is alread full.

    Time may be a greata healer, but it is a lousy beautican.

    The older I get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then my body and my fat are really good friends.

    Age doesn't always bring wisdom; sometimes it come alone.

    Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.

    Sometimes I think I understand everything. Then I regain consciousness.

    Amazing! I just hung something in my closet for a while, and it shrinks two sizes.

    It is bad to suppress laughter. It just goes back down and spreads to you hips.

    Freedom of the press means no-iron chothes.

    Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but they can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake.

    Seen it all, done it all, and can't remember most of it.


  • larc

    Inside of every old person is a young person who wonders what happened.

    Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the older you get.

    I am very regular. I pee every morning at 6:30. Unfortunately, I don't wake up til 7:00.

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