JW wifes

by happy man 9 Replies latest jw friends

  • happy man
    happy man

    I have read that some of you here who leave the truth, have still your wife inn the religion, some of you have devorse beaucaurse you left and she still inn.

    This must be a very difficult situaition. Myself have a very devoted Jw wife,she is all that you here say JW are not, always ther fore the peopel who need help.always have here door open fore evryone .

    Go a lot in sevice, take care of evrything in the home , try to help evryone.

    when i tell here some of this stuff, i see the brightness in here eyes was going down, happiness was perhaps littel bit away, now i must ask you who have been in this situation, can it realy be worth the price, to see your loved ones bee unhappy, and even perhaps lost ther hope and happiness.

  • bluesapphire

    Happy Man, this is just my opinion. But why not let her figure things out on her own first? Just be there for her when the questions come. And be gentle. Have her read things like Combatting Cult Mind Control by Steve Hassan. He was an ex-Moonie. She can read that thinking she's reading about the Moonies and someday, if she's ready, she will be able to apply it to the JWs.

    I don't think religions are all that bad. The only thing I would really really try to do is inform her about the bogus blood doctrine so she doesn't one day sacrifice her own life for nothing. Other than that, just let her be happy and love her like you do.

  • gumby

    Hi HappyMan,

    I'm glad you have a good wife. I also have a very good and sweet wife who is still a JW and I no longer am one.

    You said,

    Can it realy be worth the price, to see your loved ones be unhappy, and even perhaps lost ther hope and happiness.

    When people leave the JW's because they have found out it is not what they once believed it was......they cannot go back. It would be living a lie to these ones....me included. This of coarse brings unhappiness to those who remain witnesses. They are sad that we left. It would not be fair to ourselves to reamain or re-join, for the sake of those who love us.

    What if your wife wanted you to become a Muslim? Would you become one just to keep her happy? You would not if you were being true to yourself.....and that is what we all must do.....be true to ourself. It makes my entire family unhappy that I have "left the truth". I have not left any truth. They say I have and that is not fair to me. THEY are the ones who have abandoned me.

  • link

    Hello Happy Man,

    Im in the same position. My wife and I are in our sixties and we are still very much in love. I would never want "to see the brightness in her eyes go down" so I never say anything that might cause that to happen.

    Even other JWs cant understand how we can have such a happy marriage but I think that we are lucky because although she is very strong in "the truth" (25 years) she does not allow it to affect our relationship. How she does that I dont know, but it works.

    She realises that I have researched her religion and cannot accept some parts of it relating to the "organisation". She also believes that we wont be separated at Armageddon because of my own belief in God.

    I think that we must have the best mixed marriage going!

    All the best to you and Mrs Man.


  • Sentinel

    Happy Man,

    Even for the one's who are closest to us, we must allow them to come to their own conclusions. My mother told me recently, before she began shunning me again, that it would destroy her if she lost her faith. Unfortunately her "faith" and being a "JW" go hand in hand. She has so many friends and supporters, that I suppose, that my loss is of minor consideration.

    I really do feel for you. But, if your wife is happy, you will know it. If she is waiverlng, you will know it. Just be there for her, if and when the time comes, and she really "sees the truth" for what it "isn't".

  • Oroborus21


    As the old saying goes: Ignorance is Bliss.

    For witnesses it is doubly true.

    Having said that, the issues you raise are profound and really there are no easy answers. anyone who has truly been immersed in the organization knows that.

    It takes a strong and balanced person to both see the problems of the organization, including important foundational doctrines, and at the same time find some meaning, peace and joy in choosing to remain in full association with it. VERY FEW people have this strength.

    You know your wife better than anyone. Different witnesses have different reactions, no one is the same. All you can do is conclude what you feel and believe is the best course for yourself and your family and strive to keep everything together.

    There is comfort in the cave my friend but the sunlight is beautiful also.


  • sonoita


    When I used to go from door to door and I came across someone bubbling over with enthusiasm over a new found faith, I treated them with a great deal of respect knowing that their faith was in an infancy stage. I could never say a thing to break their faith.


  • link

    Hi Jim,

    I have previously said elsewhere here that I studied (in great depth) for six years before deciding that there was no way in which I could ever believe in the fundamental doctrines. Before I got to that stage, I did become an Unbaptised Publisher but stepped down before getting baptised.

    I appreciate what you say about how my not being baptised affects the situation with my wifes beliefs although getting half way there and turning back must have had some effect.

    My wife and I have a pretty good understanding of the situation; I help her in every way with getting to meetings etc. and she never places me in positions where I am uncomfortable with things. We have known each other for over fourty- five years and I feel that if "the truth" provides her with something that she needs that I cant provide, then why should I destroy her illusions? What good would it do me or her to burst the bubble? If I thought it was doing her serious harm in any way then I might think differently.

    BTW, I enjoy your posts and follow you quite a bit. I hope things work out with you and your wife someday it seems that all is not lost there.



  • wheelwithinwheel

    My best friend, while I was a JW, was a great guy. After I left I made a point of rescuing him. But, even though hes still a great guy, hes lost that glint of fun in his eyes. Hes often very irritated and seems troubled and discouraged. Last week he told me hes very depressed and is thinking of seeing a psychiatrist. Although my being out and him being in made things complicated for our friendship Im now wondering if I did the right thing. I thought I was helping him see the light but perhaps I was just being selfish. From reading posters here and from personal experience, leaving is difficult even when youre ready.

  • happy man
    happy man

    Thanks fore your answers,

    I think W post say much, I am in myself, bur my wife say I kill her when I tell here all this things, she lost her joj and hapiness, so is is always not so good to tell peopel things. Most important is if you have a happy life, and things goo well, why destry that, some here hve done that and find themself in a desperat situatrion, I dont think this is so godd way, ofcuorse it upp to evryone how to handel things.

    You can ask who is must important, your hapyness or your conscience, it is in some way on opposite sites fore some peopel.

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