The question of accountablity is something that I have been pondering alot lately.
Personally I think we are ULTIMATELY responsible for our actions. We can blame it on mind control, but our mind couldn't have been controlled unless we wanted it to. And accepting our responsiblity is necessary to HEAL and change.
IMO, if we (exJw and JW) would have held the WTBS to their writings and not lived the double-talk, the jw organization would not have turned into the monster that it is. I have found in my experience that when I have set boundaries (while active in the organization), that yes, I was probably talked negatively about by some, but there were others who stood by my decisions (but ultimately both groups respected me). I'll give you an example of a elder who allowed his son to play little league basebase and even missed some meeting to attend. Yes there were a lot of tongue wagging, but this brother told many that he made a decision that was best for his FAMILY and was not breaking any bible principles. Well this brother is still an active JW and is the PO of his congreation. So my point in this illustration (LOL, such a JW statement), is if more of us would of really LIVED by what is printed (the conscience matters), then the norms would be a little different than what we see now.
IMO, I think one of the main reason the JW faith is such a horrible faith, is because of the people who join, they are largely a bunch of fanactical, egotistical people, uneducated people who did not have a belief system to begin with (or a weak one) and they needed a bunch of rules to keep them in line and to make them to feel good about their lack of education, status in life, etc.
And yes my response is getting too long. I have more to spew, but would like to end on the parents issue. I feel the parents who mistreat their children because of the religion are awful and there is NO excuse for their behavior. ABUSE IS ABUSE no matter how you dish it out. I have lived this and told my parents (my father, my mother would never treat me us bad, she has threatened to divorce my father over him mistreating my disfellowshipped sister and I) such, and believe it or not he has agreed and has been treating me so great. And parents who say that mistreating their child is a form of discipline (love) is full of IT.
Happy to be Free (Me)