JW Urban Legends...didja hear the one about...

by LovesDubs 3 Replies latest jw friends

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  LovesDubs

  Yep...we had a million ovem. And by God, I believed each and EVERY one of them because the FRIENDS told me and the FRIENDS would NEVER LIE...now would they? :)

  Some of my favorites:

  1) Yes...I heard the one about John Denver telling the Dubs to leave. Also heard that his own press guy said that never happened.

  2) The Society was developing its MEPS system and needed one more set of characters so it could do Japanese for the new work being done in Japanese and some HUGE unlikely freakin miracle happened and they got those characters for it. We all oooohed and aaaahed for like an hour over that one.

  3) Hall build going up....hecklers on the roof next door. Biggest offender gets a) knocked off the roof by a sudden wind and breaks his leg. b) gets hit by lightening on a clear blue day c) gets struck with sudden case of laryngitis and grabs his throat. Hall build continues sans hecklers.

  4) Huge freakin 200 year old oak tree smack dab in the middle of some property the JWs want to build on. City says no WAY are you gonna cut down that tree to build anything! Lightening strikes the tree and kills it that very day, hour, minute...problem solved.

  5) Smurf doll/watch comes to life in the middle of a kingdom hall biting its kid/the elders on its way out the door, screaming obscenities as it ran out of the building.

  6) Woman is being followed then grabbed by two large men who are beating her and stealing her purse. Just then "something" lifts the men off of her and she is able to escape. Sees them suspended in the air behind her.

  7) Another take on 6, the woman is about to be attacked, the two attackers suddenly stop and look past her, blanch and take off. She turns to see two large beings behind her, looks again at her retreating attackers and back to where the two beings have now disappeared. They were angels apparently.

  8) Woman asleep, feels something laying on top of her, it begins to rape her, she sees nothing, feels only the weight and the penetration of it. Demons doing the dirty apparently.

  9) Group of JWs goes garage saling (out in service and counting the time too mind you) and buy several items including some furniture. JWs take them home and immediately that night start seeing the drawers opening by themselves, things flying around the room and hear "knocking" from the demons they've just brought home with that worldly furniture.

  Add your own!! These all happened TO or NEAR my hall of course. LOL!!
• 

  ICHING

  love

  - i really like the way you write - i hope you you post a lot more of your work here so i can read it -

  ) Smurf doll/watch comes to life in the middle of a kingdom hall biting its kid/the elders on its way out the door, screaming obscenities as it ran out of the building

  the additional information on this legend i heard was that smurf was screaming obscenities on his way out the door because he disagreed with the new light that was being brought out in the wt study -

  BADASSOCIATE
• 

  Moxy

  well, besides variations on those u mentioned, here're a few:

  2 pioneer sisters in need of a car see a Rolls Royce advertised for $50 and check it out. A women is selling it but swears it is not a joke but won't tell them why it's so cheap unless they buy it. Turns out it's her cheating husband's car and he asked her to sell it for him.

  (note: this very popular urban legend is not strictly a JW one but the JW version involves prayer and god's guiding hand of course.)

  ive heard some really weird stuff about DragonBall. i wont go into detail but its reminscient of the smurf stuff. anything else on this anyone?

  top 10 list of problems faced by teachers in the 50's (?) includes chewing gum, etc. top 10 list from modern times is drugs, pregnancy, etc.

  (note: this is a well documented urban myth originating with a fictitious list created by a journalist that circulated widely. it actually appeard in an awake and so has come up from time to time in talks to this day.)

  i could probably think of some others - i love these.

  mox
• 

  TR

  Moxy,

  2 pioneer sisters in need of a car see a Rolls Royce advertised for $50 and check it out. A women is selling it but swears it is not a joke but won't tell them why it's so cheap unless they buy it. Turns out it's her cheating husband's car and he asked her to sell it for him.

  I heard a different version:

  A pioneer couple's car breaks down. They see an ad for a Mercedes Benz for $25.00. They thought it was a typo, but decided to check it out. The lady was selling the car as per her deceased husbands will. The will stated that the widow sell the car, and give the money to the mistress. So, the widow sells the car for $25.00. HAHA says the widow to the mistress, and Jdub pioneer couple get spiffy Mercedes to hock their WT wares from for dirt cheap.

  TR