Shunned or actually...not treated much differently?!

Ohiamfree

So today on my way to work, I passed a faithful JW sister who I have met about 6 times and spoken to and was friends with a sister she spends a lot of time with, I looked at her and smiled and she looked through me. I wondered if she knew to shun me. I'm dating someone when I have no photographic evidence that I am free to remarry ;) let's ignore all forms of abuse and unfaithfulness...anyway!

Then the penny dropped, and I smiled to myself. She doesn't know. How do I know this? Because she has ALWAYS looked straight through me if she saw me in the street. In fact, she isn't the only one. Even when I was a young teenager with no naughty record, I still had JW people look through me, be rude to me and pick on small things like the top I'm wearing to the meeting (a modest top may I add! But with a disapproving soft print of a women's face on - I must have been like 14?!)

and then...when I pioneered...the lack of support and how I often pursued my work on my own.

And when I ran away from my ex, and carried on diligently in my new congregation - the majority didn't help me as a young vulnerable sister - living on an inflatable bed in my "worldly" friends flat. Over 4 years there were about 10 people in a congregation of 100 that showed me kindness. That's mental! How many people reached out to see how I was when I disappeared from their cong? Erm about 5 - when I had been there 6 years!!!!

And then I compared all this to how I am treated by the people I work with and in my community, and how they support me, and are kind to me without even knowing much about me. And it made me realise, these people don't understand what love is at all! I am not being "shunned" in a new way at all - there has always been something about me they didn't quite like - my creative streek maybe? The way I love animals maybe? The way I love music, art and culture?

Well JW, I am proud to say - I am me and now proud to be me. The reason most JW can't deal with it, is purely because they have no personality and rely on others to tell them what their personality should be or in what ways they should show love - they all have to be TOLD how to do things. I'm different, thank goodness and clearly - they don't know how to deal with it!

i am so glad to have faded away - and so glad I can see all this. I wonder how many of us here think we are being shunned because of having been marked, when actually, no one was interested to begin with? I would love to hear your comparisons.

ToesUp

We were pre shunned too. Marked....never could do enough or be good enough.

We are ok with it. At this time we are grateful it happened. It helped us realize this is NOT what it appeared to be.

Thank you JW's for helping us to see the truth about the truth.

hoser

A lot of people just don't fit in with the Jws. Myself and mrs hoser certainly don't.

Ohiamfree, you think too much and only allow yourself to be treated with dignity. That is why they are puzzled by your actions.

A funny thing happened to me the other day. I was at the hardware store buying a gallon of paint and a "brother" from my old hall was there. He totally ignored me as if I didn't exist. There must be some wild rumors going about that I'm bad association or maybe I've been marked and haven't found out about it yet.

The probabable reason he shunned me is because I have started to respect myself and Jws can't handle that.

LongHairGal

OHIAMFREE

Reading your post I can certainly relate to your experience. I was not liked by certain JWs and was "shunned" or not invited even though I was in "good standing" (whatever that means).

I was a single woman who worked full-time and MY clothing was also scrutinized although I tried my best to dress "modestly". I guess I wasn't modest enough...You are made to feel you are wearing a scarlet "A".

It also doesn't help when you feel good about yourself or excell at anything or are independent.

As far as I was and am concerned, they can shun away!! Whatever turns them on! As for anybody who wants to "look through me" or "pretend they don't see me", this works both ways.

What would happen if the sister who "looked through you" fell down? Would she expect you to come running and help her?? If it were me, she'd better not count on it!

This is where Jehovah's Witnesses are a sick religion and it never fails to amaze me. They expect their phony brotherhood to kick in when THEY need it -- never mind how appallingly un-Christian and deluded they are!!

I am a long-time "fader" who is very glad to be away from these people.

steve2

Ohiamfree, you have come face to face with a realization that - at least initially - can shock you to your very core: By and large, as a people, JWs are not particularly nice people - or, if they are nice, it is usually because they think they are being observed by the wider community.

Like you, I've also known JWs who showed an astonishing lack of empathy towards others in their midst who were in some need - and other JWs who would jump to the wrong negative conclusions about their own spiritual brothers and sisters as if their eagerness to judge and shun marks them as somehow spiritually stronger and worthier.

What does a religiosity like this sound like? "Oh Jehovah, I am better than the others - I have taken decisive steps ahead of others in the congregation to ensure I have kept myself clean and above reproach". The mentality within the organization breeds this type of publically manifested religiosity.

Little wonder, that the occasions of judicial hearings and the lead up to "announcements" from the platform brought out the excited spiritual pre-cleansing seen in extremist groups. Your true moment to shine: At the public shaming of others in your congregation.

Oh puff up your spiritual worthinness oh you Witnesses of Jehovah!

LisaRose

OhIamfree, my experience was pretty much the same. here were maybe three or four people that I knew well enough to talk to, everyone else pretty much acted like I was invisible. Sometimes people would ask me if I was new or a visitor.

The bible says that the identifying mark of true Christians is that they show love to one another. Not the preaching work, but love. The Watchtower almost never talks about helping others in the congregation, the only thing that counts is going out knocking on doors.

Any church that treated each other that way would be empty, people would leave find a church that made them feel welcome. Jehovah's Witnesses have no choice, as most congregations are exactly the same, more gossip than interest, more judgement than love. People stay because they have been brainwashed to accept this treatment, but it isn't normal and it isn't right.

stan livedeath

young single attractive women are nothing but trouble in the congregation. they obviously have little worth to the society---can never be a MS or an elder. best they can be is another lazy hard up pioneer.

the main problem though---is they will always be a threat-----tempting all the young single brothers---and the older married ones. therefore a serious threat to all the married matriarchs that are the real power behind the elders.

you might just be acceptable of youre a plain mousy little frump though---someone the others can look over rather than through.

millie210

Uh-oh....you sound intelligent and strong.

YOU BAD GIRL!!!!!!

oops, sorry, thinking like a JW there for a minute.

Shunned or actually...not treated much differently?!

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