Baby shower

by Haereticus 8 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Haereticus

    Being just ignorant former dub I just decided to give our children names and that was it. I admit I had to twist her (never JW) arm a bit, but no problem (also we did not celebrate xmas.)

    A while ago I saw mention about baby shower and (as a native finn) I had no idea what was the meaning of the words. Now my diligent study led to the obvious. Would be interesting to know what this baby shower is all about?

    I feel that it is something we did not have by time time I was df'd over thirty yrs ago.


  • BeautifulGarbage

    A Baby "shower" is a party thrown for either a Mother-to-be or parents-to-be. Especially, if they are expecting their first baby. The guests each bring a gift for the new baby and, hopefully, help the couple, who are usually young and don't have much money, defray the cost of all those "kid accessories". For example, someone may gift a highchair, clothing, or even diapers. Where the term "shower" came from, I am not sure. It's a party given either by a friend or a relative. Most of the time, it's thrown for women by women.

    There are bridal "showers" also. Same premise. Gifts to help a newly married couple build a household. Though, with so many people living together first, sometimes for years, those can come off as nothing more than a gift grab.

    I hope that helps.


  • onacruse

    Ironic that a JW can have a baby shower but can't celebrate the birth day of that baby.


  • Scully

    I think the use of the word shower is used to describe the abundance of gifts.... as if they are coming from heaven..... or like a welcome shower of rain during a drought.

    Love, Scully

  • Kenneson

    Wonder why the celebration of a baby's birthday is tantamount to creature worship, but not a baby's shower? I fail to make the distinction. Could this be an example of cognitive dissonance?

  • dsgal

    I always wondered what the difference was in giving gifts to a child every year on their birthday and giving gifts for the actual day of birth. I guess they have to leave something to celebrate,they've ruled out every holiday and they really like to celebrate just as much as anyone else.That's why they have get-togethers right around Christmas time,they don't really want to feel left out of the festivities.

  • BluesBrother

    *** g77 4/8 27-8 'Showering' with Gifts? ***

    What Is the Bibles View?


    with Gifts?


    and Other Gift-giving

    If an expectant mother or soon-to-be-married couple definitely is in need, you can appreciate how it might be kind and thoughtful to give gifts that will make the adjustment easier. ..

    Yes, though a "shower" can be a nice opportunity for association, refreshments and gift-giving, it can also become a mockery of the Christian spirit of generous giving. . How much better is it not to identify the givers by name! Following Jesus counsel against publicizing the giver kindly avoids embarrassment or comparisons and so promotes a happier, more Christian spirit.


    Nor, when our motives are guided by Gods Word, need there be any sense of competition. If you were in the hospital, would you not appreciate a single daisy or an orange brought by someone lovingly interested in you more than a bouquet of orchids or a case of fancy fruit given by someone out of "duty"?Prov. 15:17; 28:6.

    When our gift-giving and our thinking are in harmony with such perfect counsel of God, truly it is a basis for happinessfor both the giver and the recipient."

    Quotation edited for space, but essencially the same

    The W T S is not over keen on baby showers either!, Must not draw attention to oneself!

    Edited by - BluesBrother on 20 October 2002 13:16:40

  • blondie

    I forgot how this advice was quickly made into a rule.

    g77 4/8 28 'Showering' with Gifts?

    At some "showers" the giver of each present is identified before the others present. This can embarrass anyone who has not brought a gift. And it can lead to comparisons of presents from those of little means and those who are rich (or pretending to be so). (Jas. 2:1-9) How much better is it not to identify the givers by name! Following Jesus counsel against publicizing the giver kindly avoids embarrassment or comparisons and so promotes a happier, more Christian spirit.

    Some interpreted that you must not put your name on the card. It made it very difficult to send thank you cards. I think that has finally died down in some areas to just not announcing (but the helper usually writes on the card what was given so the receiver can send a meaningfuly thank you card). I supposed if someone were petty enough to compare the guest list to the giver list, they could determine that someone had not given a gift.

    I guess they forgot this information:

    w69 5/1 286 Social Events Need Christian Moderation

    In some places when such "showers" are held, the gifts are grouped together without the names of the givers being attached. Why? Those Christians are conscious of Jesus counsel that gifts should not be given to glorify the giver. (Matt. 6:1-4) They feel that if one did not bring a gift, another brought a small token of affection, and yet another an expensive gift, unloving comparisons of who gave what might be made.Matt. 7:12.

    Does this mean that it is wrong to identify oneself as the giver of a certain present? No, that is not the point. In other places Christians at weddings and "showers" deliver gifts personally or sign cards attached to the presents. But if the presents are opened or displayed, the givers are not publicly announced. Thus there is no embarrassment.

    Yes, please don't embarrass anyone this way, but Brother Loose Lips can tell his wife the judicial business of the congregation which she will share with all those worthy at the shower

    Let me add this Question from Readers. This is definitely a "Vomit Alert." This is so bad that it makes the two above comments seem kind in comparison. After reading the WTS answer, I'm surprised anyone ever had a get-together.

    *** w52 5/15 319-20 Questions from Readers ***

    Does the Society approve of well-meant showers held preceding weddings or childbirths? Should the gifts be displayed along with an identification of the givers?M. F., New York.
    The Society does not disapprove of properly conducted showers.
    But it is not good to get shower-minded, and involve the Lords people in a spree of them. It is easy for one or two to touch off a series that can become an endless circle of showers. It can burden the brothers, take their time, and their money for gifts they cannot always afford. You may say no gifts are necessary, but the custom calls for gifts and the majority will bring them, and it would be embarrassing to come empty-handed. Now there is certainly nothing wrong with giving gifts. Done spontaneously, it is commendable brotherly kindness and sometimes shows real Christian concern. There is some Scriptural obligation to note those of our brothers who are in need and to help them. We may use a shower as an occasion to help, but we do not have to wait for such occasions, we do not have to fit our giving into such customary times and seasons. Help is sometimes needed at other times. We should give when the need arises, and to those for whom the need is acute, and do so spontaneously, unsolicited by shower invitations that obligate us to give, whether the recipient is in need or not.
    Should the givers be identified with their gifts? Why should they? Surely those giving the more expensive gifts do not seek public acclamation. It might embarrass the poorer brothers who must give more modest gifts, and perhaps cause them to spend more than they can really afford.
    So why magnify the rich and humble the poor, even if it is unintentionally done? (Jas. 2:1-4) It is not Scriptural, this publicity to gift and giver. "When you start making gifts of mercy, do not blow a trumpet ahead of you, just as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may be glorified by men. Truly I say to you, They are having their reward in full. But you, when making gifts of mercy, do not let your left hand know what your right is doing." (Matt. 6:2, 3, NW) If anonymous giving were practiced, would the gifts be as expensive? Would the giver spend beyond his means, if he were not identified with the gift? That would truly measure the unselfishness behind the gift. Such giving pleases God.
    One final point of utmost importance, whether it is a shower or wedding or reception or just a friendly gathering of witnesses. Control the activities so that some edifying results. Silly games are for babyish people; mature Christians have advanced beyond them, left them behind. Sexually suggestive or passionate dancing to blaring jazz is not for Christians, though proper dancing and music cannot be condemned.
    When Jesus attended a wedding feast he used the occasion to glorify God, performing his first miracle, the turning of water into wine. (John 2:1-11) And we can be sure that he did not get in any line to kiss the bride eitherso we leave such woman-exalting practices back in the creature-worshiping world, where they belong. Instead of any such looseness of conduct or excessive use of food or drink, we should control activities and regulate entertainment into profitable channels, such as the singing of Kingdom songs, playing Scriptural quiz games, relating field experiences, and so forth. Not only will such things be a proper relaxation for us and get us better acquainted with one another, but they will be helpful to persons of good will that may be present and impress them favorably with Jehovahs people.
    So we say that there is nothing wrong in properly planned showers,
    and those who attend should not be criticized by those who stay away, and vice versa. Be moderate in the number held, the giving, the enjoyment of material food and drink while there, and make them spiritually upbuilding. Always remember Christ is our model. (1 Pet. 2:21) He did not consume too much time on such things, did not make a showy display of giving, did not become gluttonous or drunk on such occasions, or at any other time. When at social gatherings he used the occasions to Gods glory, but he did not book up his evenings with parties and exhaust himself socializing. It was his zeal for Jehovah and the preaching work that consumed his time and energy. So it should be with us, balancing our various activities proportionate to their importance.

    Edited by - Blondie on 20 October 2002 13:46:59

  • onacruse

    BluesBrothers and blondie: Thanks for the quotes...I'd forgotten how much "advice" the WTS "provided" for us; just gets to be an osmosis thing after a while.



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