Haven't posted in a while... http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.aspx?id=38164&site=3
I'm back! Got a letter from my mother...
by reagan_oconnor 5 Replies latest jw friends
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Angharad
Welcome back Reagan, good to see you
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out4good3
They, of course, tell me that this has been my decision (I dont think theyve ever taken responsibility for themselves in anything) that I have forced their hand.
Where's the logic in that. It's was your decision that they decided that they don't want to have anymore association.
Guess it was your decision that the WT false prophesied over and over again.
Guess it was your decision that there was a mass exodus of people over their 1975 prediction.
Guess it was your decision that people have died needlessly over their stand on blood.
Guess it was your decision that they accept with loving arms and allow paedophiles to go door to door while silencing the victims to protect their image.
Guess it was your decision that they sought association with the UN and maintained it for 10 years.
The WT is very adept at projecting responsibility for their failures on the rank and file members who willingly accept blame. It appears that mom and dad have learned well this technique from their gods in Brooklyn.
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Tinkerbell4125
Sounds just like the letter I recieved from my mother in 1986. Your history is so simular to mine. Raised in the WTS, baptized at 13, married and left my abustive husband and the org. I've since realized that unfortunately many many families don't associate with some of their family members for different reasons.
Did you respond to your mother? Keep us posted on how you're doing. Remember that life can be tough at times, but life can be good. Life is good! Enjoy it! You and your family will be memtally better off to completely stay away from the witnesses. Well, I don't have to tell you that! You sound like you know what you're doing! Hang in there sweetie!
Tink
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reagan_oconnor
Angharad: Thanks!
out4good3: Absolutely. Par for the course. I didn't expect any more from them... and that's exactly what I got!
Tink: The only response I sent was a single-line e-mail: Please forward me the negatives from our wedding photos and advise if you require reimbursement. (She did the wedding photos when I married my husband 2 years ago). They think that they'll pull me back in just because it worked on my mother when my aunt did it to her 20+ years ago. My mother fails to realize that I am a strong, intelligent person who thinks for myself & doesn't let the BORG think for me.
Ah, I feel better now. Thanks guys! ~reagan
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Sentinel
Reagan,
I am really feeling for you as I read this tonight. Time and time again we are hurt, and they accept no responsibility. They try to blame us for the shunning they feel they must do. If only we'd return to the fold, then all would be right with their world.
We have to pick up the pieces of our life and make it a good life. If we have to "let them go entirely", then that is what we must do to be able to live a healthy existence. We don't have to carry the weight of responsiblity for "their" choice jut because they try to place the blame on us. They need to carry their own load, because it is a choice they make. We cannot validate their belief system.
Admitedly, I do have a long way to go myself. It's difficult for me to allow my mother the ability to "reach" me when she feels the "need" to call me, only to end up "hurting" me. I am "feeling" things too deeply and I need to try to remove myself from "her mentality" and get strong and treat her as my elderly mother, not as a JW borg, programmed to shun and abandon her offspring. This is easier said than done.
I don't want to tell her that she can't call me, but every time she does, it throws me for a loop. She said she was shunning me again, and then just when I was beginning to feel okay again, she calls me. She says she loves me, but keeps saying this is what she has to do. I feel like she should just "do it" and leave me alone, instead of trying to upset me with phone calls.
It's like a mate who wants the divorce and leaves to find his freedom. Then when he gets a bit lonely and regretful, he calls, wanting to hear the sound of your voice, and make sure you are alright. But, you have resigned yourself to his decision and have moved on with your life. His call turns your world upside down with emotion. The behavior is the same with my mother.
The sad thing is, I do long to hear her voice, but it's so painful for me to cope. I know I'm not alone in feeling this way.
Sentinel/Karen