Dia...

by Shakita 4 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Shakita

  Dia:

  So as not to hijack dantheman's thread, I start here.

  I note a bit of sarcasm in your post about maternal instincts not being what they should if you are a JW. I cannot speak for others. In my own case, the love for my children cannot be put into words. They are my whole life. Brainwashing puts you in a state of mind were you cannot think for yourself, make decisions for yourself. I must admit, I was not a really "good" dub. When speaking with my adult children today, I told them that when push came to shove on the blood issue concerning them, I would have given them the "gift of life".

  People have always sacrified much in the name of God and religion. And, I am afraid that this will never change as long as religion promotes itself above God.

  I don't mean to be argumentative, but where maternal instincts are concerned, I get very defensive. Just ask my Ashi.

  Mrs. Shakita
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  concerned mama

  I think, Shakita, that you must have been, and still are, a wonderful Mom.

  What a horrible place that some of those other mothers and fathers have been put in! To make the choice between your faith and your child. As I have never been there (I'm not JW), I can only imagine the soul wrenching that is involved with the decision. I would never sacrifice my child.
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  Sentinel

  I appreciate your thoughts. Obviously, you are a very good mother.

  Unfortunately, my mother chose the JW's, over her husband, and over her children. (She still firmly believes in choosing JW's, she is serving Jehovah God, because they are his true representatives on earth.) Of course, she believes she "did the best she could". Everything was a sacrifice to her "truth", and so in her eyes she feels she did a really good job. I'm not going to blame her. I do blame the borg.

  I struggled to survive and made it. At 78, Mom is still in, and still waiting for Armageddon to come and destroy me. She refuses to accept that I'm out and free and actually happy. She cannot invision life outside the borg.

  Although I was still "in" when I had my son, and he did attend meetings with me until he was about twelve, I did not fill his mind with the fear and dogma of their teachings. I allowed him to be more "himself", something that was never allowed me.

  Sentinel/Karen
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  Dia

  Sorry. I didn't see this until now. (nice to know that someone reads my stuff)

  I stand by my words. Of course, I can't speak for everyone.

  If you feel very strongly that this doesn't apply to you, I think that's GREAT.

  But we can't call you a 'typical' JW mom, can we. I mean, you're HERE.

  I've just seen and known so much that leaves my mouth hanging open. I'm left to wonder which came first, the chicken or the egg?

  The cruel and heartless parents (and people) or the brainwashed ones, blindly following their leaders.

  Guess I'd have to side with Jerry Bergman when he says that the religion may or may not attract the mentally ill, but fact is, they get WORSE when they're in it and they get better when they get out.

  Edited by - Dia on 4 October 2002 21:25:10
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  Shakita

  Thank you concerned mama and Sentinel for your kind words. It gets very quiet when you decide to start thinking for yourself. Since questioning things, not with other jws, but within my own conscience, jw friends fade from your life. I am now trying to re-adjust to life. Since I still have family members in the org., I live a fine line sometimes.

  Dia, I knew many JW mothers who loved their children no less than I. I secretly think that some probably felt as I did on the blood issue. Probably going along with the company line hoping never to come to that point to have to keep faithful to the org. and sacrifice their children in the name of Almighty Jehovah God.

  I know that I am not the only mother on this board who lived in the JW world and looks back at that time and wonder "what was I thinking?" If it could only be put into words. But you cannot turn back time, as much as you would like to. You have to deal with the here and now. What part I will play in helping others to see the truth about the JW organization, has yet to be seen. Being so newly "out", not da'd or df'd, just fading quietly(I hope), maybe I can sow some seeds of my own. But after reading the many sad stories here and elsewhere, I know that it will not be easy.

  I am sorry if I rambled on, but I want to thank you for responding to my post. I respect your thoughts and hope you can feel for those who have had different life experiences than you have. We all make mistakes in our lives. And, along the way we will hurt others by those mistakes. Let's learn by them, and try to help others along the way.

  Take care.

  Mrs. Shakita