Disfellowshipped at 18 (page 3)

AudeSapere

It is not love in ANY way, shape or form.

It is nothing less than manipulation, pure and simple.

I am so very, VERY sorry that you are going thru this. Legally an 'adult', you are only just beginning and should not have been forced away from your family at such a young and tender age. You *can* be stronger for this horrible experience, but it absolutely sucks that it was thrust on you. The act of Public Disfellowshipping should be a criminal offense. Especially for those 20 and under.

I am so sorry. Keep coming back here. You can find good support from people who really 'get' what is happening to you.

-Aude Sapere. (meaning: Dare to Know; Dare to Have Wisdom/Understanding; Dare to Think for Yourself)

1009

Hi asensier, welcome!

First, about your age. I was older (35 to be exact) when I finally realized that what we learned when we were young wasn't the truth©. I've lost many years of my life. You're just 18 and you can still make something of your life.That's actually a good thing.

Secondly, about 'love'. It took me some more years to learn that what JW call 'love' is a very conditional kind of love. Those 'very close friends saying goodbye' aren't real friends. They might use some sweet words now in the hope that you come back, but don't forget that they condemn you by their actions.

You obviously want support of your parents.They are your real parents. My father was disfellowshipped and I always had contact with him. The elders knew about it and I still could serve as ministerial servant and pioneer for many years. So it depends a lot on the region where you're living and how strict their conscious is. I hope you can find a way to restore that contact.

disposable hero of hypocrisy

I've not been there you are yet, but it's a real possibility in the future.. I'm sure our welcome messages will help towards overcoming the goodbye messages. Do research, (jw facts is a perfect place to start) then sit back and realise you guys have got your entire life in front of you, at least you didn't waste 40 years . take care matey..

The_Doctor10

This is a great site, you'll definitely find support here.

It can be a tough road, just look at it right now as you're out, you're free of burden. You are free to do the things you want to do, pursue your passions, make friends, learn all you can, explore your own thoughts, find the real YOU. Let nothing hold you back.

problemaddict 2

So young.

I think most here would say its good you found all of this out now. 18 and living together is rough as well. be careful. And think long term with your decisions.

I agree that you should call yor family and let them know they understand that what they are doing they THINK to be Gods will, but it is in part hat the religion is telling you to break the bonds of family and shun their own daughter, that has you deciding not to be a part of it.

I'm sorry you have to deal with this. Enjoy college. Get educated and get a good job. Be cautious with your relationship, and try to be smart. Forgive your friends, they know not what they do. And research JWs in a way you haven't before. It will help.

Welcome to the board. What is your major going to be?

asensier

Thank you everyone for your comments. My family know I love them unconditionally, despite the circumstances.

I live in England, originally from Wales. I will be studying childcare in college.

It's 1:30am, night all x

Village Idiot

Welcome young lady.

Twitch

asensier

Most here know exactly what you're going through; you're not alone.

Kindly listen to what appeals to you and also what doesn't; both are of value.

Learn what your instincts say. There is always the heart and mind, often at odds but the gut knows best.

Don't be afraid to make mistakes. How else does one learn?

Enjoy and live life like there is no tomorrow. Now is the only time where things happen

(Twitch, alumni of the "Left at 18" class)

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Diogenesister

WELCOME. You have not said which country you are in, it may be best not too but the reason its relevant is that there is an expert in dealing with the emotional aftermath of being on a cult and his name is Steve Hassan. If you are in the states he may be able to help you. I think its really important you find a good therapist, someone who understands what a devastating situation your parents jave put you in. My heart goes out to you, as a mother my alarm bells are going off like crazy and I feel so angry that when you are going through a normal part of growing up - first love- instead of joyfully supporting you the fools have driven you away. I am sure your boyfriend is lovely, but you are so young I worry that if it doesn't work out you no longer have a support network to fall back on - leaving you terribly vulnerable. If you are not sure, your family doctor may be a good place to start...he or she may be able to advise you on a suitable support group/self help group - forums are ok but you need some flesh and blood support when dealing with the emotional hangover of leaving a cult.

Again, check out jw.facts and DITCH THE ADVANCE DIRECTIVE CARD (BLOOD)http://ajwrb.org/

Diogenesister

Sorry, just saw your'e second post, England eh ?welcome homey! In that case, your college should have an in house psycologist who will be able to help. Be aware though not all ( very few in fact) therapists have a good understanding of what it is to grow up in a high control religon. Unfortunately, our cousins over the pond are light years ahead of us in that dept, but again, Steve Hassan is willing to conduct 'supervisions' if u can find a therapist willing to undertake you. Check out his website, and check out the B.I.T.E. model https://www.freedomofmind.com/Info/BITE/bitemodel.php

Disfellowshipped at 18

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