Please offer support

mpatrick

This is a post from Beliefnet.org from a young girl who could use our support...I was hoping some here could post a reply.

mpatrick

Here is a post from another post she started:

Jessishere9/13/02 8:45 PM	1 out of 1
	If you have looked at the topic of "i made a mistake" then you can understand why iam asking these things. I know that i will be disfellowshipped. Iam anxious to get it said and done so i can be on a path of righteousness again. But i dont know a lot about being disfellowshipped. Will i be able to go to book study(since it is a tighter area of contact) Is it okay if a "friend" that is a witness tells everyone what i did? FOr some reason since her dad is an elder she knows everyones business about their spirituality. He is also the elder iam afraid of. Is that okay for her dad to tell his family about my situation. Of course there will be those that will know why i got disfelloshipped but i dont want them to know until after iam reinstated. And i also want to choose who i want to know. I hate this sooo much. Of course if i could take it back i would in less than a second. I wish now that i could tell everyone to never have sexual relations until you are married because it is a serious sin and it is hard to deal with when you are then rejected from the guy you did it with. I want to know the answers so badly. Can i still call the elders or are they not allowed to talk to me either. I have been crying since the night i did it and feel sick to my stomach and cant eat. I have lost so much weight from all the emotions of disappointing jehovah to why did i do this. I think i dwell on it way to much but since the age of eight i have loved jehovah and feel that i have messed up really bad. Does Jehovah know how sorry iam? HOw do i prove it to everyone that iam sorry? Do most witnesses treat you the same after you are reinstated? or do they shuve their noses up as if you are terrible and disgusting? I have to know this to be at ease. I know for a fact that everyone will be absolutley shoked when they here my name on the podium. I just want to start going to meetings and get it behind me. I am soooooooooooooooooo sorry.

RandomTask

I honestly wouldn't know where to begin with this girl.

But its people like her that make me hate this organization so much. What it does to people, the mental anguish and abuse it puts people through. This girl seriously thinks she is the most terrible person right now because she had sex and then was rejected by the person she did it with. On top of that soon her friends and family will treat her like she doesn't exist, if this isn't satanic I don't know what is!!!!! The topper is what really gets me, she loves ~~Big Brother~~ The organization and seriously thinks she has wronged Jehober. I can just see something like this happening to my sister in law and it makes me ill, I want to go and vomit.

There are times when I think that the org is a harmless religion that some people choose to believe in, this reminds me just how evil they really are.

mpatrick

Maybe just letting this young girl know that many of us have been in a similiar situation at times in our lives and that it doesn't have to be this way. Maybe reassuring her that there are people that will love and care for her whether or not she did something deemed "wrong" by the Organization. This is the perfect opportunity to help someone in her position.

There are times when I think that the org is a harmless religion that some people choose to believe in, this reminds me just how evil they really are.

Random Task, that is exactly how I feel!

RandomTask

My fear is that if we tell this girl the TRUTH it will cause her to put up a wall. Remember she thinks she's dirt, so anyone telling her she's an ok person is going to be an "agent of satan". "oh its ok to do bad and rebel against god"

My dearest hope is that some of you can get through to this girl and really help her. I fear the damage that will take place when she gets "help" from her "frends" in the congregation.

I just don't think I can help, but I truly ask others on this board to try and reach out to her. I don't know, for some reason her story really affects me.

ItsJustlittleoldme

Ugh.. This is soooo sad...

First off, I'd begin by telling her that any 'friend' of hers that tells her that she hates her because she made a mistake is no friend at all...

I find it amazing and disgusting that when a JW needs a friend the most, that's exactly when the friends walk away!!!!! And they somehow call this LOVE!!!!

The girl said she was sorry, that she made a mistake... Clearly, to say "I hate you" is passing judgement on someone, and she is already being treated as DF'd...

Sorry, I find this sickening..

Not ever having been a witness, I have no idea what to say to her, other than to try to comfort her, but I personally would think the best thing to do is point out to her gently how 'unloving' her 'friends' really are.. I'll bet her Mother isn't shunning her, or trying to make her feel even more guilty than she is already... Only her 'spiritual' brothers and sisters who go around stating that 'we are the only people who have true love amongst ourselves' are the ones that are in no way gonna show her any love whatsoever simply because she made a mistake..

I am so outraged at this crock they call love that I want to scream!!!!

Mimilly

This breaks my heart. She needs someone 'close' to help.. someone in her area to rely on when the sky falls.

Perhaps Lady Lee could be of assistance here, or Cassiline. This is truly a sensitive area. This is a girl caught between a rock and a hard place unless she has someone nearby she can go to.

I wonder if there's a way to find out the area she lives in...to see if we have back up in it. And it would have to be a female.

Sheeeeeeet. Horrible deaths to the GB!!!! (I get so angry at those bastards everytime they hurt yet another sweet spirit.)

Mpatrick - Let me know if there's anything I can do. But my best shot is to write the ladies above for advice.

Mim

Vivamus

I don't think she will be DF'd. She is showing such a burden of guilt, the elders will not Df her.

My heart goes out to her, I remember feeling just as guilty over some things done by me. There is no way to reason with her, saying what she did is okay, that will not work. She is utterly convinced what she did is wrong, how terrible, how sad.

Wish there was something I could do.

RandomTask

Maybe you should post to this girl Vivamus.

mpatrick

To the ones that took the time to post to this young girl, thank you! I too am at a loss as to what to say...the whole thing makes me want to cry and scream at the same time. I remember all too well the feelings of guilt and unworthyness that other JWs can impose on you. I appreciate everyones replies, it helps me think about what I could write to her.

Ladylee does post on the Beliefnet board on occassion, and she does have an excellent way of writing. I hope she sees this and responds.

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