OK, I have to ask.

JeffT

This came up on another thread.

Can you be disfellowshipped for French kissing? If so, was that always policy? Does that apply to married couples or just singles? Cripes if that was true Mrs. T and I would have got ourselves booted in 1974.

Dismembered

I never heard that one JeffT.

RedhorseWoman

I don't think so...otherwise, that elder's son who couldn't keep his hands (or tongue) to himself on our first (and only) date would have been in BIG trouble.

MegaDude

You could be.... depending on where you're doing the french kissing. heh, heh. But if you truly repentant and you've only been caught once, odds are you'll beat the rap. Make sure you have a friendly elder on the committee. However, if you are a thorn in the elders' sides and none of them like you, then they may use the opportunity to give you the boot. It's all very subjective and depending on the elders that judge you.

teenyuck

Well, I relied upon the authorities.....the Watchtower Library 1997 CD

These are from the source. Let Jehovah be your guide.

edited to add my cut and paste!

*** g89 12/22 30 From Our Readers *** Courtship The , article on courtship left me confused. Even a little holding hands, embracing, or kissing can increase the desire to go farther. A couple should be encouraged to leave out unnecessary touching.

K. R.,

There is a need for balance in this matter. Previous articles have specifically dealt with the subject of remaining chaste. (See Awake! of November 8 and December 8, 1985.) And the article in question likewise cautioned that expressions of endearment should not be done out of selfish passion. However, appropriate displays of affection before marriage are not ruled out in the Scriptures. (Song of Solomon 1:2; 2:6; 8:5) Individuals must therefore make a personal decision on this matter, bearing in mind their own feelings and limitations, the viewpoints of others, and their obligation to remain chaste in Gods eyes.ED.

*** g88 2/8 20 How Can I Avoid a Broken Heart? *** Kissing or holding hands at the opening stage of a relationship is counterproductive. Such activities may not only arouse immoral sexual desires but also suppress good judgment and objectivity. You can hardly make a cool judgment about someone if your passions are aroused. Besides, heavy displays of affection simply worsen the pain of breaking up if a relationship does not work out.

*** g93 10/22 20-2 How Far Is "Too Far"? *** Young People Ask . . .

How Far Is Too Far?

Could you please warn people about the dangers of going too far? . . . All the in between needs to be addressed, because its what leads to sex. My question is, where is the limit?

That is what one girl asked a magazine for teenagers. But perhaps its a question you have also wondered about.

If you are a Christian, you take seriously the words at 1 Thessalonians 4:3-6: This is what God wills, the sanctifying of you, that you abstain from fornication; . . . that no one go to the point of harming and encroach upon the rights of his brother in this matter, because Jehovah is one who exacts punishment for all these things.

So although you may realize that sexual intercourse by unmarried Christians is wrong, you may still wonder how God views kissing, hugging, or caressing someone of the opposite sex.

A Part of Growing Up?

First of all, it is good to keep in mind that the Bible does not condemn legitimate, clean expressions of affection free from sexual overtones. Ancient Christians were quite demonstrative of their love for one another. They would commonly greet one another with a holy kiss. (Romans 16:16; 1 Corinthians 16:20) Even Christians of the same sex would kiss and embrace.Compare Acts .

In a number of cultures, kissing and embracing are still considered appropriate ways to show affection for someone. However, many youths today show affection in ways that go beyond a reasonable definition of what is appropriate. One survey found that over two thirds of teenagers polled said that they had engaged in some form of petting involving the caressing of intimate body parts. Many started doing so as early as age 14. As found in another survey, 49 percent had engaged in petting to the point of sexual climax.

Some justify such sexual experimentation as simply a part of growing up. According to the book The Family Handbook of Adolescence, sex play and exploration are commonplace among virtually all normal adolescents. Some people even recommend petting. The book Growing Into Love, by Kathryn Burkhart, claims: Because it stops short of intercourse, most petting can be experienced free from anxiety and serve as a wonderful outlet for sexual energy.

The question is, though, How does God view such behavior?

Whats in a Kiss?

When you are in the bloom of youth, sexual desire runs strong. (1 Corinthians 7:36) Therefore, it is only natural to be curious about what it feels like to kiss or touch someone of the opposite sex. But The Family Handbook of Adolescence points out: Sexual ability precedes, sometimes by many years, emotional maturity. Indeed, many youths do not fully appreciate that a kiss or a caress has the power to arouse strong romantic feelings or sexual urges.

Wisely, therefore, you must consider the consequences of engaging in conduct that arouses sexual feelings. What if you are too young to marry? Then why kiss or do anything in a way that would arouse you sexually? All that this would accomplish is to cause you frustration. This is because there is no way for you as a true Christian to take those romantic feelings to their logical conclusionsexual intercourse. The Bible makes clear that such relations are proper only within marriage.1 Corinthians .

Consider, too, the other person, who might be aroused sexually by your romantic activity. Is it not deceitful, and even cruel, to kiss or caress someone you are not in a position to marry or may not even seriously consider as a potential marriage mate? (Compare Proverbs 26:18, 19.) The Bible warns: The cruel person is bringing ostracism upon his own organism.Proverbs 11:17.

It shouldnt be any secret to a Bible student that a romantic touch or a kiss can arouse strong sexual desire. The Bible tells of the seduction of a young man by a prostitute. It says: She has grabbed hold of him and given him a kiss. (Proverbs 7:13) Such a kiss or touch can trigger a profound physical response. As intimacies progress a boy or a girl becomes increasingly aroused. Frankly, the body is getting ready for sexual intercourse.

If a couple are married, they can satisfy their passions in a delightful and honorable way. But when an unmarried couple indulge in passion-arousing sexual play, problems are sure to result. In one survey, writer Nancy Van Pelt found that many youths who got involved in petting openly admitted they had simply got, as they put it, carried away. Typical is a young girl who was pressured into going further than she ever had before. Although she did not engage in sexual intercourse, she did allow the boy to touch her intimately. She says: Now I feel terrible. Was what she permitted the boy to do to her really wrong?

What Is Too Far?

Some youths believe that as long as they dont engage in sexual intercourse, they havent gone too far, that what they do isnt really wrong. The Bible shows otherwise. At Galatians 5:19-21, the apostle Paul said: The works of the flesh are manifest, and they are fornication, uncleanness, loose conduct . . . those who practice such things will not inherit Gods kingdom.

What is fornication? The original Greek word for fornication is pornei'a. It refers to sexual activity involving the use of the genital organs carried on outside the bonds of marriage. One girl quoted in Seventeen allowed her boyfriend to pressure her into performing oral sex. I feel really stupid, she said, because all my friends say they do it with their boyfriends and Im going to lose him if I dont. Research shows that alarming numbers of youths have engaged in that form of immorality. Nevertheless, such acts constitute pornei'a and bring Gods disapproval.

The apostle Paul also linked fornication with uncleanness. The original Greek word, akatharsi'a, covers impurity of any kind, in speech or action. Surely it would be unclean to allow ones hands to stray under someones clothing, to remove someones clothing, or to caress anothers intimate areas, such as the breasts. Why, in the Bible the caressing of the breasts is associated with the pleasures reserved for married couples.Proverbs , 19; compare Hosea 2:2.

Some youths nevertheless brazenly defy these godly standards. They deliberately go too far, or they greedily seek out numerous partners with whom they can practice sexual uncleanness. They are thus guilty of what the apostle Paul called loose conduct.

Various authorities show that the original Greek word for loose conduct (asel'geia) means outrageous acts, excess, insolence, unbridled lust, and outrageousness. Youths who practice loose conduct are like the pagans Paul referred to. Because of the insensibility of their hearts, those pagans came to be past all moral sense, [giving] themselves over to loose conduct to work uncleanness of every sort with greediness. (Ephesians 4:17-19) Surely you would want to avoid coming under such condemnation!

Realize, then, that one does not have to engage in sexual intercourse to go too far from Jehovahs standpoint. If you are too young to marry, romantic touching and kissing should be off-limits. And those carrying on a courtship must take care that their displays of affection do not become unclean. Granted, holding to godly standards is not easy. But God says at Isaiah 48:17: I, Jehovah, am your God, the One teaching you to benefit yourself, the One causing you to tread in the way in which you should walk.See also Galatians 5:16.

[Pictures on page 21]

If you are unmarried, engaging in behavior that arouses passion can lead to frustration and worse

Edited by - teenyuck on 12 September 2002 13:1:38

Swan

Homosexuals have been known to French kiss, therefore it is not appropriate even within marital relationships.

Tammy

gumby

No....there is NO policy on french kissing.

While dating.....kissing is strongly discouraged....though most all do anyway. Another article that hasn't been quoted here was one that talked about 'links' that led to fornication. Holding hands was the first link to this.....so the article asked..."Would it be wise to start with the first link"?

In other words.....the first time you hold hands with the one you care about should be AFTER your married!!!!!!! Unbelievable!

Swan

Hold on! New light coming!

Due to the overwhelming flood of responses from married couples (and some now divorced)

it has been determined that French kissing is a matter of conscience. Elders should no longer

ask married couples if they have French kissed in the privacy of their bedrooms. An article on this

new light will be coming out in the next issue of the WT right after the article on dealing with the

spiritual orphans of all of these broken up couples.

Tammy

Edited for formatting purposes.

Edited by - Swan on 13 September 2002 0:1:17

Big Tex

Homosexuals have been known to French kiss, therefore it is not appropriate even within marital relationships.

Homosexuals hold hands. So that's out.

Homosexuals get married. So that's out.

Problem solved!

gumby

Why do they call it french kissing anyway? I'm sure the french didn't invent it.

OK, I have to ask.

Share this