Hi Marilyn/Mulan:
A while back (a few months ago) I posted a plea for help regarding my marriage. You had given me what I believe is the BEST advice I've ever had. You said, quite bluntly, that my marriage had come to this state because I HAD ALLOWED IT TO......I was allowing my husband to control me. Noone ever told me that before and it never dawned on me. I just wanted to let you know how much help that was.
I thought about it a lot. Last month I confronted my husband with divorce papers - I told him that either (1) we went to counseling and things were going to change, or (2) I was filing. Either way, I would be better off in the long run, I could not live with this any longer.
Well guess what....Mr. Know it all who swore he had no problems and would NEVER see a counselor because it was only for loosers decided on the counseling.
It's been one month now in counseling. We have a LONG WAY to go - but it's already progressed so much that I am in complete shock. We have learned so much from the counselor and I believe we'll make it through. We've committted to a minimum of 6 months counseling before we make any decisions (ie: divorce) - there's a lot to work out and it has been sooooooo hard and tiring, but I can see progress and am feeling very positive. Either way - the truth is I'll be better off - either we'll have a better marriage or I'll be out of it and free. Either way is better than what I was living with.
I just wanted you to know that your advice really helped me out. Thank you for being so honest!!