Did you ever have to exclude a loved one from your

by Latte 5 Replies latest jw friends

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  Latte

  To everyone,

  http://www.witnessesonline.com/ubb/Forum1/HTML/000072.html
  Did you ever have to exclude a loved one from your wedding?

  It truly made me sad, when I read the posts on this particular thread. They say JW's don't break up families. What a JOKE.
  I personally know of a family that have been torn apart by the JW disfellowshipping policy. ( sentence passed 20 years ago, family in bits) Why should the sentence last forever?? The lifetime of the person that is Dfed.?? Bearing in mind that 'probably' most are now living a godly life. ie got married have kids, devoted family person, perhaps they have NOT returned to the JW religion, but they are perfectly OK people.
  Life is too short, too precious, to even think of continuing such dreadful behaviour as shunning, avoiding contact with family members. THEY are your family!!! They will be there at your funeral, no doubt!!!
  I wish that I could of posted something to these loyal JW's to help them come together with THEIR families……it's so, so sad.

  Latte
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  Angharad

  My brother was Df'd a long time ago. We never broke off contact, much to a lot of people's disapproval.

  It was really hard to have to ask him to just sit at the back of the kingdom hall during the service and not to come to the wedding reception stright after. We wanted him there so we said he could come much later on in the evening, even though he just came in and sat near us and didn't talk to anyone else, a lot of people promtly left when he walked in.

  Edited by - angharad on 22 March 2001 9:56:26
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  Esmeralda

  That was sickening.

  One of the worst days of my life was my cousin's wedding day, three months after I was df'd.

  I was told not to even show up at the kingdom hall for the ceremony (I would have gone in after
  the processional and left before the prayer) while my ex husband and his new fiancee (whom he
  announced he was marrying just weeks after our divorce was final...literally right after my df'ing was
  announced...when did they have time to date, hmmm?) sat in the front row with my family!

  She had wanted me to stand up for her in her wedding from the time she was five years old. And
  I wasn't even allowed to be there. I still cry thinking about it. I think that if any of the people who have done this ever leave the org. they are going to feel awful about upholding the shunning on an occaision like a wedding.

  Heartbreaking. People waste time thinking that their relatives will be around forever. They won't. We
  should appreciate the living while they are with us, even if we disagree religiously.

  The cult has caused so much destruction. Dispicable.

  Es

  Edited by - Esmeralda on 22 March 2001 15:12:47
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  Blackcat

  Slightly different to the original question....but i left the org. to marry a so-called "unbeliever" and my aunt,my cousin, whom i was very close to, refused to attend our wedding held at the local registry office. I was not df'd but my aunt and her husband refused to let my cousin attend,which led to much heartache at the time.They now have the nerve to send my wife and i an anniversary card which i think is hypocritical,still she used to send the watchtower to tempt me back, i much prefer the card....
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  myMichelle

  I agree with Es, this is sickening. I literally felt nauseated reading this kind of attitude. And what was the offending relative's big offense? No, she wasn't an axe murderer. No, she wasn't a pedophile, rapist, or thief. She (gasp!) smoked! The horrors! This poor person was groveling, crawling back to the same people who had and continue to emotionally abuse her and they continue to kick her while she's down.

  C'mon, she's alledgedly a beloved relative who probably has no intention of lighting up at the KH or the reception. Once again the crowd over there is all for putting an organization before family. Is it any wonder that the word cult is used in reference to the WTS?

  Here's hoping she or the studying husband wises up fast and steers clear of such an abusive organization.

  Michelle

  Edited by - myMichelle on 22 March 2001 15:57:8
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  Esmeralda

  Hi Michelle, You said:

  Here's hoping she or the studying husband wises up fast and steers clear of such an abusive organization.

  That is EXACTLY what I thought when I read that story. I know that my husband would never, ever be
  interested in studying because of the way he sees my family treat me. I hope that lesson is not
  lost on this studying spouse!!!

  I know I owe you sooo much e mail...think of you all the time and hope all is well!

  *hugs*
  Essie