Anniversary of 8 Years..time flies.

by Xandria 4 Replies latest jw friends

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  Xandria

  I know we all have different feelings, about the people who brought us into this world. An I will be the first to admit that mine are mixed when it comes to my own mother. On one hand she was loving and the other she was a stranger who was totally lost in rage.

  Well, no matter how wronged we are in life, no matter how bad the strife is, we remember that we once ( and still do, somewhere deep down inside) loved the person we knew or know as our mom. How else do their actions cause us so much pain, effect us so much if there was not some love and hope somewhere deep down inside us for them to: change, to love us , to be a parent. We long for what was; was and died, or what was never allowed.

  For those of you who still have a mother who is still in this world there is still hope. Hope for change, a future and realization. Unfortunately, my mother realized too late...She died on this day, in 1994 after trying to battle a highly agressive form of cancer. It took her a piece at a time. In the end, the most painful thing was seeing her realize that it was too late to change what was. She realized all that time lost in anger.

  All I can say to those whose mom is still here on this earth is not to lose hope.

  Xandria
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  da_luvvin_bruvva

  Xandria

  You're so right.

  My mum (mum) is still alive and I spent years in 'rage' with her whilst I was still a dub.

  I came out 3 years ago and the longer I was out, the more I discovered that I really do love her.

  She broke her back in January this year, spent 3 months in hospital, came out, got a severe dose of Salmonella poisoning, went back in for a month, came out, was diagnosed with Cirrhosis of the Liver, went back in for a few weeks, came out, broke her hip and femur (leg), went back in for 3 months and is now finally out.

  Seeing her crying every day has really made me realize that we are all so very mortal. The woman that brought me up, fed me, reassured me picked me up when I was down, loved me; is now very very ill.

  I don't know how long she's got, but I pray that the Lord will give me more time, and her, just to be good to each other and show that we really do love each other.

  I know how you feel and I pray that the Lord will give you peace Xandria.

  Da_luvvin_bruvva
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  Matty

  ((((((Xandria))))))
  ((((((da_luvvin_bruvva))))))

  Thank you for those words Xandria, I'm sure you've made a lot of people here get their thoughts into perspective and think about what the really important things of life truly are. My mum's a pain in the ass, but I love her to bits. I'm worried about what her reaction will be when I say that I'm not interested in da troof anymore, but I know I will never personally cut myself off from any of my family whatever happens.
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  Tinkerbell4125

  Xandria, I lost my mom three years ago this week. She too had cancer and it came back with a vengance the last time around.

  I'd like to think that her religion gave her peace. I know she believed and lived it up till the end. I really think it gave her comfort in many ways, but on the other hand, I think, in the end, she saw what it had done to many of her relationships with her children. Kind of a bitter sweet sort of thing, if that makes sense.

  Here's sending you a cyber hug {{{{{{{{{{{{Xandria}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

  We'll be okay girl. I miss my mom, and as time goes by I find that I am finding this sort of inner peace. Realizing that she did the best she could, only reflecting on fond memories. She was a amazing woman. Can you believe she had 11 children!!! I can't even imagine!!!
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  onacruse

  (((Xandria)))

  I lost my younger brother to cancer almost 20 years ago, and I still think a lot about him.

  ((Xandria))