More from FOSL.....

by SixofNine 3 Replies latest jw friends

  • SixofNine

    More on religion from the Fruit of Sixy's Loins:

    {hint: while it's a bit of trouble, it is worth the effort to go ahead and pronounce out "fishishishinardian" at least once before reading this through}

    The Fishishishinard Religion

    Everyday, millions of people all over the world wake up, cook breakfast, eat

    it, get ready for work, school, wherever they need to go, and start their

    daily routine. The people of the Fishishishinard religion are not those

    people. Their daily routine consists of something, a little different. Ok, a

    lot different. Everyday, millions of Fishishishinardians wake up and pray at

    their own shrine, which every Fishishishinardian can get for free at their

    local Fascinard Gardens. It stand 7 feet tall and consists of pictures and

    quotes from celebrities, governments, anybody and everybody who is

    considered famous has either a quote, picture, or both on the shrine, made

    out of velvet. Every Fishishishinardian must pray at the shrine at least 5

    times a day, no matter what. If they do not pray at the shrine at least 5

    times a day, they must punish themselves however many times they had left to

    pray at the shrine on the Bad Fashionist Ride. They can also get the ride at

    their local Fascinard Gardens for free. The ride is 8 feet tall and consists

    of one ugly stained chair and a 24 inch TV screen. It has a door on the left

    side to get into it and it is painted all black. The torture is that each

    Fishishishinardian that did not pray at their shrine enough times in the day

    must sit in the ride and put on a virtual 3D helmet that puts the punishee

    into a world where they must wear the worst fashion and everybody around

    them has horrible fashion too. The times that the punishee did not pray at

    the shrine is converted into hours and that is how they know how long they

    have to ride the ride. If you think that's harsh, listen to the next


    Every other night of the week, there is a gathering of every

    Fishishishinardian at the Fascinard Gardens so that every Fishishishinardian

    can hear the juiciest "Fossip", as they like to call it, from the Vanity

    Fair and the Premiere, which basically are the Watchtower and Awake of the

    Fishishishinardians. If any one Fishishishinardian misses just one

    gathering, the leader of the local Fascinard Gardens and his closest

    Fishishishinardian friend will go to the absent one's house to counsel them.

    If they are not at home at the time that the local Fascinard Gardens leader

    and his accomplice come, then they will be Unfishishishinardianooooded,

    a.k.a. banished from the Fishishishinard Religion. Also they will never ever

    ever be let back in. Ever. Not ever forever never.

    The rules of the Fishishishinard's are few, yet they are incredibly strong.

    1: Every article of clothing must not cost under $100.00 and cannot be from

    the mall or a department store. Everything must be designer.

    2: Anybody who mocks anybody considered a celebrity, gets life in the Bad

    Fashionist Ride without bail. All they get is a bucket and a lifetime's

    worth of gourmet food.

    3: If you have anything to do with anybody considered a celebrity or famous

    person, you cannot keep it a secret and if you do, we

    Unfishishishinardianooood you.

    The main leader of the Fishishishinard is called Bob Bill. He lives in Los

    Angeles and he runs the Vanity Fair Magiety. The other main leader of the

    Fishishishinard is called Billy Bob. He lives in New York and runs the

    Premiere Propriety. Since they live in enemy time zones the Vanity Fair and

    the Premiere are always competing for cooler celebrities for each month.

    Some of the Fishishishinardians lately have been noticing some odd things

    coming up in the Fishishishinard world. These people had recently

    experienced mysterious break-ins to their houses, but nothing was ever gone.

    Maybe just a candle from their shrine, or the antenna on the torture ride

    ended up missing. And they kept on finding little hidden cameras ever time

    something was stolen. Most of these people went to the local Fascinard

    Gardens leader to ask them about it, but they all said, "do NOT, I repeat do

    NOT, go to the authoritays with this or we will Unfishishishinardianooood

    you forever and ever and ever as long as Dog is my witness, I'll never let

    you in again. So the Fishishishinardians got really mad, told the police and

    got Unfishishishinardianooooded forever as the local Fascinard Gardens dude

    guy said. And then they all started this big internet group called They knew it was kind of long,

    but who cares? It's a good name don't ya think? Anyways, most of the local

    leaders that didn't want to go public are now being sentenced to life in

    prisonnot! Actually only 35 years in prison and such.

    10 years from now

    Well, the Fishishishinard Religion has been brought down, and people are

    forgetting the very name. Oh yeah I almost forgot, their bible's name was

    The New World Translation Of Sweet Fashion and it said sweet fashion and Dog

    a lot of times.

    The Fishy End

  • searcher

    I like it!

    Sign me up!!!!


  • GentlyFeral

    What I want to know is: How did the Fruit Of Your Loins learn so much about MikeMusto's spiritual life?


  • SPAZnik


    *applauds wildly*

    is there a fan club and where do i sign up?


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