More on religion from the Fruit of Sixy's Loins:
{hint: while it's a bit of trouble, it is worth the effort to go ahead and pronounce out "fishishishinardian" at least once before reading this through}
The Fishishishinard Religion
Everyday, millions of people all over the world wake up, cook breakfast, eat
it, get ready for work, school, wherever they need to go, and start their
daily routine. The people of the Fishishishinard religion are not those
people. Their daily routine consists of something, a little different. Ok, a
lot different. Everyday, millions of Fishishishinardians wake up and pray at
their own shrine, which every Fishishishinardian can get for free at their
local Fascinard Gardens. It stand 7 feet tall and consists of pictures and
quotes from celebrities, governments, anybody and everybody who is
considered famous has either a quote, picture, or both on the shrine, made
out of velvet. Every Fishishishinardian must pray at the shrine at least 5
times a day, no matter what. If they do not pray at the shrine at least 5
times a day, they must punish themselves however many times they had left to
pray at the shrine on the Bad Fashionist Ride. They can also get the ride at
their local Fascinard Gardens for free. The ride is 8 feet tall and consists
of one ugly stained chair and a 24 inch TV screen. It has a door on the left
side to get into it and it is painted all black. The torture is that each
Fishishishinardian that did not pray at their shrine enough times in the day
must sit in the ride and put on a virtual 3D helmet that puts the punishee
into a world where they must wear the worst fashion and everybody around
them has horrible fashion too. The times that the punishee did not pray at
the shrine is converted into hours and that is how they know how long they
have to ride the ride. If you think that's harsh, listen to the next
paragraph!
Every other night of the week, there is a gathering of every
Fishishishinardian at the Fascinard Gardens so that every Fishishishinardian
can hear the juiciest "Fossip", as they like to call it, from the Vanity
Fair and the Premiere, which basically are the Watchtower and Awake of the
Fishishishinardians. If any one Fishishishinardian misses just one
gathering, the leader of the local Fascinard Gardens and his closest
Fishishishinardian friend will go to the absent one's house to counsel them.
If they are not at home at the time that the local Fascinard Gardens leader
and his accomplice come, then they will be Unfishishishinardianooooded,
a.k.a. banished from the Fishishishinard Religion. Also they will never ever
ever be let back in. Ever. Not ever forever never.
The rules of the Fishishishinard's are few, yet they are incredibly strong.
1: Every article of clothing must not cost under $100.00 and cannot be from
the mall or a department store. Everything must be designer.
2: Anybody who mocks anybody considered a celebrity, gets life in the Bad
Fashionist Ride without bail. All they get is a bucket and a lifetime's
worth of gourmet food.
3: If you have anything to do with anybody considered a celebrity or famous
person, you cannot keep it a secret and if you do, we
Unfishishishinardianooood you.
The main leader of the Fishishishinard is called Bob Bill. He lives in Los
Angeles and he runs the Vanity Fair Magiety. The other main leader of the
Fishishishinard is called Billy Bob. He lives in New York and runs the
Premiere Propriety. Since they live in enemy time zones the Vanity Fair and
the Premiere are always competing for cooler celebrities for each month.
Some of the Fishishishinardians lately have been noticing some odd things
coming up in the Fishishishinard world. These people had recently
experienced mysterious break-ins to their houses, but nothing was ever gone.
Maybe just a candle from their shrine, or the antenna on the torture ride
ended up missing. And they kept on finding little hidden cameras ever time
something was stolen. Most of these people went to the local Fascinard
Gardens leader to ask them about it, but they all said, "do NOT, I repeat do
NOT, go to the authoritays with this or we will Unfishishishinardianooood
you forever and ever and ever as long as Dog is my witness, I'll never let
you in again. So the Fishishishinardians got really mad, told the police and
got Unfishishishinardianooooded forever as the local Fascinard Gardens dude
guy said. And then they all started this big internet group called
http://www.FishishishinardianBackfire.com. They knew it was kind of long,
but who cares? It's a good name don't ya think? Anyways, most of the local
leaders that didn't want to go public are now being sentenced to life in
prisonnot! Actually only 35 years in prison and such.
10 years from now
Well, the Fishishishinard Religion has been brought down, and people are
forgetting the very name. Oh yeah I almost forgot, their bible's name was
The New World Translation Of Sweet Fashion and it said sweet fashion and Dog
a lot of times.
The Fishy End