GB Motivation Poll

by Derrick 6 Replies latest jw friends

  • Derrick

    (A) Suppose Jehovah God interrupted a Governing Body meeting and said:

    "Let me clarify something. I have considered postponing Armageddon. Before I make that decision, I shall run it passed you for approval. Does a postponement for another few generations meeting with your approval?"

    How do YOU believe the Governing Body would answer?

    (1) Absolutely! This will give the organization the chance to develop and reach every person in China and the third world countries! Those who have left the organization will have a lifetime to repent! This is wonderful news!

    (2) Absolutely not! We have waited long enough as it is! We have toiled for almost a century and resent the mere suggestion you would postpone Watchtower rulership over Earth for a millennium and our hour of triumph against this wicked world!

    Your answer to (A) is ____ (1) or ____ (2) check one

    (B) Suppose Jehovah God said at the same Governing Body meeting:

    "Many of the angels and my beloved Son have suggested that if we must go through with Armageddon, we consider letting good people of all ages survive who are not Jehovah's Witnesses. Other suggestions have included allowing young children of Jehovah's Witnesses in disfellowshipped or disassociate state to also live. One suggestion that seemed insightful was not to destroy those who reported crimes committed by those claiming to be brothers in the congregation such as child rape. Another loving suggestion was to painlessly and quickly execute those who must die during Armageddon, instead of slaughtering them in a gruesome and needlessly painful bloodbath. Do these suggestions meet with your approval?"

    How do YOU believe the Governing Body would answer?

    (1) Absolutely! These are all loving suggestions that emulate a God of love and tender mercies!

    (2) Absolutely not! We have waited long enough as it is to see these pleasure seeking worldings suffer for not making the sacrifices we have painstakingly made! We have given up sex and other forms of pleasure. We have sacrificed material comforts. We have essentially toiled under constant resistance of temptation from our imperfect desires for almost a century, and resent the mere suggestion you would let these wicked people living high off the hog in their mansions and between the sheets with their lovers off the hook at the last minute! We have earned the prize and find it ludicrous to allow those who are not baptized Jehovah's Witnesses to survive and get the same rewards we have coming to us! Why even bother with Armageddon if you're going soft on them? We're being facetious of course, because we fear you and want only what you want! Since you asked for our opinion, however, as for the matter of the children, letting kids of DF and DA individuals survive is something we cannot endorse. Last but not least, will you spare those who embarassed the organization by reporting crimes committed by those representing us? So what if they were guilty, that's beside the point! (Speaker pauses to take medication from a prescription bottle and drink tall glass of water, then regains composure.) Where was I, Oh Jehovah? Ah yes, Jehovah God, I was saying, the suggestion of painlessly killing people? Well, are you going soft on us? Surely not! The more painful and gruesome the bloodbath at Armageddon the better! I say torture those Sons of Bitches! Forgive my bluntness, but I say to give every avenging angel a pair to shears to cut off their balls! (His emotional shrill voice abruptly halts when another Governing Body member places his hand on the speaker's should as if to calm him down and stop him from losing all godly restraint.)

    Your answer to (B) is ____ (1) or ____ (2) check one

    Awaiting the results to this survey with baited breath.


  • teenyuck

    A. 2

    B. 2

    edited to add--Doh! I can format

    Edited by - puffsrule on 26 August 2002 19:11:0

  • The_Bad_Seed

    (C) *wakes up* Uh...what? Whens Matlock coming on? Where are my pills?! I NEED A PILL!


  • Bendrr

    Oh for cryin out loud! Any idiot could figure that one out.

    Once Armageddon starts (yeah right!) the cash flow stops.

    Col. J.R. "Bendrr" Brown, [classified]

  • Mary

    I think the GB would try and disfellowship Jehovah for "running ahead of the Organization."

  • gumby

    If Jehovah was ACTUALLY present at one of their meetings.....and they all heard his voice.....I think you would see all the GB flying out of the room like a bunch of ninty year old chickens with dementia. All the suppresed guilt would scare the hell out of them.

  • SYN

    Guess they'll just have to "wait on Jehovah" for the answers to these pressing questions!

    Well hey, somebody had to say it

    Maybe they can vote after their little nap!

Share this