Can we be gods channel / out WT the WTS?

by Simon 9 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Simon

    Just wondering. The WTS makes a big fuss about being 'god channel of communication' and the only ones able to provide proper spritual food yada yada yada

    I wonder how easy or difficult it is to some up with something that sounds reasonable and sensible from the bible that the WTS has never picked up on? Here is my stab at it ...

    When the baby Jesus (awe) was born, Satan send the star to guide the wise men first to Herod and then to Jesus. God did something or other to stop his dastardly plan working but why let them get to Jesus at all?

    Well, they brought Gold, Frankinsence (Frankenstein?) and Mirrrrrrrhh (the space station?!?) to Jesus's family (a baby shower).


    Well, earlier, Mary had made her sin offering at the temple and sacrificed two doves which under mosaic law was the absolute minimum that was required (the WTS will not push the idea of people doint the minimum!). Why would someone chosen to give birth to god's son do the minimum? Because they were poor.

    What is the next, often skipped over, chapter in the life of Mary, Joseph and Jesus? They had to flee to Egypt and no doubt some Gold, Frankinsence and Mirh would have made it possible for them to travel and live for 2 (was it?) years in Egypt!

    Ta-da (or has this been done ... I'm just going from memoery and haven't looked anything up for this).

    What do you think? Anyone else want a go?

  • cellomould

    Very interesting Simon.

    I think that the Egypt travel was just hyperbole. Kinda like when my friend Dave used to tell me I lived in 'B.F.E.' [insert expletives at your own discretion] when I really only lived about 2 miles from him.

    Have you ever read Jose Saramago's Gospel According to Jesus Christ? You must. He makes a bunch of interesting observations and inferences about how Jesus' life must have really been.


  • Simon

    Yes, perhaps I should have pointed out that I dont necessarilly believe the story to be true but I am going along with it to show how coming up with things from the bible is easy - even for a foaming at the mouth depraved apostate fool like myself.

  • cellomould

    Re: "Anyone else want a go?":

    How could it have escaped the notice of the WT that the breasts of a woman were described as 'towers'? That is found in the Song of Solomon (although I am not going to bother to reference it either). Compare that with the verse (I forget where) that says the righteous 'run to a strong tower' for protection...

    Whose breasts would you rather cry on... Brother Macho, or Sister Supple?

    There you have it! Women will be appointed as elders. It was all prophecied long ago in the bible!


  • Simon

    "sister supple" lol

  • ballistic

    hmmmm, interesting you just reminded me of something. I'll post a new topic about 'god's channel'.

  • A Paduan
    A Paduan

    How about,

    GOD sent HIS star guiding the wise men to Jerusalem to reveal the birth of His son to His chosen, who didn't know (in their arrogance) - but Herod heard and wanted to kill Him - so God sent the wise men on to His son with provisions for a journey to leave the place - as you said, they were poor.

    Joseph was told "in a dream" to not trust Herod and leave, and Herod became livid that the wise men didn't return - so he did what he did in Bethlehem to try and kill Him anyway. This is our belief - and it preaches repentance - of the magi, who were "exceedingly joyful".

    The gifts were given to help the family leave, before Herod decided to kill the children, who I might add,

    - are virgins - who follow the lamb - first fruits to God - in their mouth was found no lie - and they are before the throne of God (annointed?)

    I find the jw story bizarre, but there's enough 'information' there for them to formulate it - can't say they didn't have free will.

    "Take heed then how you hear, for to him who has more will be given"


    Edited by - a paduan on 24 August 2002 6:27:7

  • LyinEyes

    I wonder if Mary had serious labor pains like other women?

    Seems she would have been given a little divine help , having God's son, huh?

    Well, I have to doubt that the poor woman had any divine help with her labor pains, she had to give birth in a barn, all the animals looking, the smell of the place and on some nasty old hay.

    A nice bed in a Inn would not have been asking for too much.

    LOL , Simon, I think I am foaming at the mouth apostate too...........heheh

    Things to make you go............hummmmmmmmmmmmmm!!

  • Valis

    Well Simon everything was all good...even when Jesus' other old man let him do all kinds of wacky stuff like hang out w/old guys in the temple all can you say slientlamb?...well anyway just like the rest of the goddam hippies he runs away and does all kinds of stuff like making yourself hallucinate in the desert after not eating or he creates these psychotic delusions of granduer and hallucinations of something called the devil, which in fact was just his alter ego. Unfortunately he let it get the best of him and became a rather self righteous shit talker, which needless to say, got him into all kinds of trouble. POW! Instant fame! We all know what happens to celebrities when they get a big head...yeah you guessed it! Groupies....sheesh...first it started with 12...then 1200...then 12 million...yeah you know what I'm talking about. Eventually the cops put the hammer down and he ended up back with the other other father once again. Well it seems that much like Elvis some have presumed Jesus to still be alive, noting impotant dates that he will surely be visible to the naked eye....1914, 1975, soon.... very soon...I'm still waiting for my autograph to this very day.


    District Overbeer of the "messy messianic" class

  • battman

    Hello Simon,

    One instance which they obviously know but almost
    never refer is the fact that Jesus himself did not take
    the plunge til he was 30yo. An organization that prides
    itself on being "Foot Step"tm followers of Jesus, etc &
    details the Last Din Din exactly conviently ignores this

    I hope many other comments are made here as I think this
    is an excellent thread.


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