LMAO! Test results are in

by mevirginia 5 Replies latest jw friends

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  mevirginia

  This Thread Has Moved To:

  http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=35056&site=3

  SORRY FOR THE INCONVIENCE

  LMAO!

  Test results are in

  I heard this on the news last night, thought it was funny. It took a team of researchers to put this one on the books.

  There seems to be no end to the knowledge one can obtain these days by attending a university to extend ones education.

  Results of recent studies on the consumption of alcohol and the effects it has on ones attractiveness to the opposite sex are in.

  It has now been shown that 4 beers or 2 glasses of wine will make the opposite sex (or same if gay) appear more attractive.

  Students and their professors conducted studies at a university.

  The research also indicates there is a down side however. As the effects of the alcohol wear off, so does the attractiveness. ...Go Figure

  Edited by - mevirginia on 21 August 2002 1:16:8
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  mevirginia

  one
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  COMF

  I'm applying for grant money to fund research into the effect of multiple orgasms on interpersonal relationships.
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  notperfectyet

  I think the same brillliant team of researchers came up with this one too........I wonder if they have any Grant money left?

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  Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers: WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your ass kicked. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people. 

   WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you're invisible or worse, bulletproof! WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem to literally disappear. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the number one factor in having a coyote date. WARNING: the consumption of ackahol may Mack you tink you can tipe real gode. 
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  Solace

  OMG So Funny....

  Seriously, I found this all out in high school.
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  Shutterbug

  Has anyone ever heard the old Willie Nelson song which goes "I never went to bed with an ugly woman, but I've sure woke up with a few.