My Mother

by jozb5 9 Replies latest jw experiences

  • jozb5

    This is a continuance of what I related under the weird jw dude topic.

    When this happened I think I was about 20 or 21 (1985 or '86), before I married my first husband. I was living at home and still attending meeting but I had stopped studying when I was 19. I guess my mom felt it was time for me to settle down (I was not dating anyone - how could I? I wasn't baptised.) So she decides to pose as me and take out a personal ad to find a husband for me. She got several replies that were local to where we lived and she set it up for me to meet a few of theses guys. All this happened before she told me what she was doing. I was surprised she did this but not shocked, she's done stranger things before.

    So I met a couple of these guys. Why? I don't know, maybe I just didn't know how to say no to my mom, maybe I was curious, but these guys were just as weird as the bachelor brothers at the hall and I decided that I wanted no part of it.

    The last straw was the day a package came from a Canadian jw bachelor who was looking for a wife. My mom had been corresponding with him and he decided to send several pictures and a tape describing himself and his wants and needs (kinda personal stuff too!) My mom gave me the package and told me to look at the pictures and listen to the tape, which I did. His pictures revealed him to be a tall broad man with a beard wearing a yellow shirt, red pants, and blue suspenders (He said in his tape that this was his favorite outfit and he saw no problem in wearing this to the hall.) Oh, he also thanked me for inviting him to come and visit me during my district convention.

    I felt like I was in the twilight zone and my mom wanted me to seriously consider this man as a mate!

    After I finished loking everything over, my mom told me that she wanted to write back to this man. And to make the pot sweeter she said that if I wrote the letter she would buy me a pair of shoes.

    So I wrote the letter. And I told this mislead man that I was not the one who had been corresponding with him (it was my mother), I was not attracted to him or in anyway interested, and that it would not be a good idea for him to come out and visit.

    Now mind you all of this happened in front of my father, who I had regarded up to this point to be a fairly sane and intelligent guy.

    Well after I finished and mailed the letter, my mom and dad and I were sitting at the kitchen table and my mom asked if I wrote the letter. I said I had. She asked what did I say. I said that I told him not to come. She got pissed and said I wouldn't get the shoes. I said "No that wasnt the deal. You said that if I wrote the letter, I would get the shoes. You never said what to put in the letter." I then turned to my dad and he said "Jean she's right. You didn't tell her what to write. She did what you asked. You have to get her the shoes."

    OK, my dad redeemed himself a little bit there.

    That's the story, it's all true and I'm sticking to it.


  • ballistic

    Did you finally meet someone, in or out of the org?

  • jozb5

    I have been married for the last 9 years (10 in dec) to a nice guy who is not a jw.


  • teenyuck

    (Sigh) The things mother's do....

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    OMG Josie My mother tried to match me up with a few brothers too. She would get me dressed up in a skin tight outfit and take me to other halls and assemblies and arrange meetings for me with these men. Most were in their 30's or 40's and clearly had mental problems I was 16-17 at the time. It was horrible to be marketed like that.

    Finally a young man came into the congregation who was only 2 years older than me. Although I didn't really like him him I agreed to marry him. He thought he won some kind of door prize. We were married 32 years ago today - and one week after he was baptized.

    It lasted 15 years and I was soooo outta there

    Lady Lee

  • outoftheorg

    Oh boy and I thought my life and mom were screwed up!

    She never did anything as wierd as that. But it didn't matter I managed to find someone in the troof who was beautiful in every physical respect. But HER mom and dad had screwed her. Literaly! Well just her dad, but her mother allowed it. So she the poor girl was really screwed up. Told me she had never had a child hood and wanted to party. So she took out a loan in my name didn't pay any of the bills for 2 months and abandoned me and the kids. Youngest one 18 months old. Took off with a fat little fry cook and partied I guess. She at least had the decency to tell me of the incest before we married. But being stupid as I was it didn't ring any alarm bells for me.

    Welll then after a year "without any help from my mother" I managed to find another girl jw and we got married. She told me she was a virgin and her life had been ok. We were married for 23 years. She had a lot of migrains and emotional problems. At our 21st year she got suicidal and it turned out that she had been molested by her brother-uncle-and her mothers boy friends. Her mother the good jw that she was brought her boyfriends home and had them sleep in her DAUGHTERS BED ROOM.

    My ex had hatred for all her family. Then she decided she needed them and moved the hatred from them to ME! At least that is what her counselor told me was the problem. Needless to say things went downhill from there.

    She sucked up right close to her mother and siblings and is still there. The things that parents do to their kids have ramifications for the rest of their life on the kid and anyone associated with them.

    All of this happened in what was supposed to be a good jw family. They all still hang on to the wbts. I don't.

  • teejay


    Interesting story. Interesting family. Interesting *mother*.

    Sounds like the pilot of a sit-com, soon to come to a TV near you.
    Don't take this wrong, but your mom seems to be a little weird. Not that there's anything wrong with that! (Seifeld)

  • outoftheorg

    Hey Teejay;

    I think I got you confused. Maybe because all of this confused me! My mother was wierd but it was my two wives mothers that did all the things I mentioned here to their daughters that I had the misfortune to marry. Now that is clear isn't it?

    By the way, who is this Seifeld you mention, I didn't marry him.

    Oh! You weren't talking to me at all were you?

    I can't erase this whole thing can I?

    Damit I told you I was confused.

    Edited by - outoftheorg on 8 August 2002 21:35:52

  • DakotaRed

    I learned long ago to never trust your parents to fix you up. Not that I have had much success on my own, but I can just imagine what my Mom would have come up with.

    Lew W

  • Elsewhere

    [Picks up jaw from the floor and puts it back]

    jozb5, and I thought my mom was weird!!!

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