For my abusive, ignorant mother:
Why Cant You See?
Why cant you see
What youve done to me?
I know that the first
Sometimes has it worst
Because you were too young and dumb
For the responsibility that was to come
But as you grew older
And supposedly wiser
You still expected me to be perfect
Whilst my needs you continued to neglect
You were too lazy to get out of bed
To make sure your small children were fed
So you left that job to me
When I was eight and my sister was three
You called me a bitch to my face
When you wanted to put me in my place
And when you heard my sister and I fight
You threw things at us with all of your might
And when you hit me over and over again
Because I committed what you called a sin
I was not allowed to raise my arm
To protect myself from harm
You said that was the same as hitting you
And God would give me the punishment I was due
So I retreated deep into my brain
To hide myself from the pain
And when you had another baby
I thought that just maybe
Things might begin to change
Your life you would rearrange
But no, it was too much to hope
For you said you couldnt cope
And when I came home from school every day
You just couldnt wait to get away
Each day, my young heart was torn
As you left me to care for a newborn
Because you would rather go to the store
Than see your children any more
You left me to raise my brother
And he thought I was his mother
I took care of my sister too
It was too much bother for you
I taught them as much as I could
And in a way it was good
For where would they be
If it werent for me?
And when you found out the things my father did
To me, those things that he hid
You claimed not to have a clue
And maybe that is true
But once again you made a choice
You couldnt hear my little voice
Crying out in despair
You acted like you didnt care
You chose to stick your head in the sand
And then even began to demand
That I forgive the man who stole my youth
When he finally told the truth
And now you have shunned me
Because I decided to be free
On me you place all the blame
And dont allow anyone to speak my name
I dont even care anymore
Because Ive opened a door
Into a whole new world
Free from the abuse that you hurled
Why cant you see
That Im finally happy?