Question for ex-elders:

by truthseeker1 9 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • truthseeker1

    Hey, whats going to happen to me?

    I have told the elders that I will no longer go to meetings and I don't believe it is the troof. They know I looked at apostate stuff but not sure they know I look at it now. They know me and the wife are getting a legal divorce. My PO/Father-in-law asked me to put it in writing, but I don't feel like giving them the satisfaction. I don't want to play their games anymore, just want to get away from them asap. Will they take it as a DA and announce my DAing myself or once I start up another relationship after my divorce will they DF me for fornication, or perhaps DF me when my birthday comes up. I'm not going to run to them and tell me that I celebrate stuff. If they ask me i'll tell them its none of their business what I do and ask them to leave me alone. Anyone know what kind of announcements, if any will be made? Or will I just be considered inactive and fade away?

  • NewYork44M

    If you do not want to DA, just fade away. If you can move to another area, that is even better. The elders may decide to hunt you down and DF you. It really depends upon the group you are with.

  • NeonMadman

    If you've stated in front of two elders that you don't want to be a JW, they will probably accept it as a disassociation, and announce it accordingly. They'd rather have it in writing, but not giving it to them in writing won't stop them from proceeding if that's what they want to do.

    If you've stated in front of two elders that you don't believe it is the truth, then they most likely have all the grounds they need to disfellowship you as an apostate.

    If you haven't made any statements before two witnesses, and you want to fade away rather than be df'ed or da'd, I'd suggest you shut up and refuse to discuss it further with them. Also, don't agree to meet with them, or in any way acknowledge that they have authority over you (such as by allowing a shepherding call to "help" you).

    Then, if they appear likely to proceed against you anyway, have your attorney fire off a letter to them threatening to hold them personally liable for any invasion of your privacy, interference with family relationships, or defamation of your character.

  • LittleToe

    If you say no more, refuse to put anything in writing, and refuse to answer their questions, they shouldn't be able to DF you until you get remarried (or caught sleeping over).

    If that is 3-5 years after you stop going, they may decide to leave it alone.

    However, there is a caveat - if you stop supporting your wife at any point, they will likely invoke 1Tim.5:8 and DF you anyway.

    Welcome to the realities of the Wt World!

  • truthseeker1


    Should I go to the meeting when its announced? They probably wouldn't tell me, huh? That would be nice if they did tho. Everyone in the hall knows I don't want to be a witness anymore, thanks to the wonderful mouth of my wife. The day I told her, she told the whole cong. I told 2 different elders at 2 seperate times, plus my wife. She in turn told probably the whole circut by now.

  • JT

    It all depends on how the Elders in that Hall want to handle it.

    The Society gives them pretty much free will in this area

    Whenever a jw is being investigated on possible charges of "Apostasy"

    you really don't have much room, my advice has always been and will always be the same as follows - keep ones mouth shut if you are not prepared to deal with the fallout

    here is a link you might want to consider -- even though for you if may or may not be too late

    it appears to me and i could be wrong, but you have jumped in the lake only to annouce you can't swim

    here was the link were we discuss persons in your situation


    One of the most painful things I continue to see here on this forum as well as all the others is that many who want to leave wt simply don't know how to leave and remain "Intact" as it were.

    I recall talking with jw who "Formally Disassociated themselves back in the 70s and it was not till the 90s and the net did they finally feel free

    or many who jump UP and write a letter off to Mo Larry and Curly (CONGREGATION SERVICE COMMITTEE)

    While I feel there is absolutely nothing wrong with writing a letter for many it is a matter of

    1. Poor timing and
    2. not being prepared for what will follow

    When I read of folks who wrote letters feeling bad or feeling that must meet with the elders to me that means they were not ready AT THAT TIME.

    The net is really the answer for all lurkers and those who are thinking about leaving why not Learn how to leave WT at least somewhat Intact

    Before writing a letter be sure to get the Pros and Cons of writing a letter- for me personally I wouldnt waste the paper or stamp- but I fully understand for those who do there is no right or wrong should I send one or not

    But more of a

    1. When should I do this and
    2. How-

    I highly recommend throwing it out here in the forum for suggestions- the reason why is simple

    The avg. jw has so little understanding of the WT Corporate Procedures when it comes to how they deal with folks

    Being Former Society Man the rules and policies swallow up the avg. person

    I recall seeing persons who are leaving spend weeks Xeroxing 40=50 pages of copies of wt history to Let the bro. know why

    They dont give a RATS A$$ and once a person comes to understand that then they know how to proceed

    Much like explaining Gravity to a 6 month old baby it means absolutely nothing-

    Also understanding that the avg. Joe blow elder is as much a victim as we were

    What I have seen here on the net is how some of the most condemning folks ( she got low hours cant be too spiritual)

    ( she can pioneer her hubby make s enough money) etc myself INCLUDED once we learn the truth about the truth

    we feel so bad about how we treated others when we were in the Org-

    I look back at some of the judicial cases that we handled and being a Society Man I went by the BOOK

    VERY LITTLE feeling for the Individual person GOT TO KEEP THE ORG CLEAN-

    SO FOR me know I only hope that all the folks I dealt with in an unloving way can forgive me for it was done out of ignorance and being blinded.

    So for any who want to get out--------- please and I beg of you feel free to ask here on the forum what things you need to consider so when you decided to make your move you can LEAVE INTACT


    "I'd rather have questions I can't answer than questions I can't ask (or answers I can't question)."

  • Crazy151drinker

    You need to address everyone in the hall.....

    Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, your cool, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, your cool....

  • truthseeker1

    It isn't going to bother me if i get DA'd or DF'd. The people I care about are outside of the Borg. The people I have been missing these last 5 years. I couldn't give a monkies left nut if I ever saw these people again. I just want to know what to expect. I think it would be fun to go to a judicial comittee, or something like that. Bring a video camera, recording devices, ect.

    Oh, on that subject, what if someone needs an interpeter, like sign language or something? Can they bring that person into their JC?

  • simplesally

    Crazy151, you are crazy! And funny~~~

  • minimus

    your wife and father-in-law know that you are speaking vs. the Society. There's your 2 witnesses....bye, bye

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