coping strategies, adjustments to new experiences?

by Celtic 2 Replies latest jw friends

  • Celtic

    Today, I've been thinking as deeply as ever, trying to get to grips not just with my own personal experiences, but also gaining more understanding and empathy with the 'group consciousness' struggling, to come to terms with similar life experiences here represented within this community. (Does my ruddy nut in).

    Wow!! What a trialsome journey. Question is, what coping strategies do you as an individual, employ that have practical benefit in your life, to enable you to feel better about yourself and your personal ongoing relationship with life?

    How have you found the 'adjustment process' to life on the 'outside' of the borganisations teachings? What aspects specificly do you find are the hardest work, and why?

    What tools ideally do you wish were available to you, in an ideal world?

    Do you still struggle with feelings of inadequecy, anger or low self esteem?

    Of ideal assistance to you personally, what more might we start putting into pro-active action, that enables you to take your life off in the direction that you would wish it to, that would give you the MOST enjoyment?

    If you were to attend healing 'workshops' that aid your recovery, how would you like to see those workshops designed, and covering which particular areas?

    What is your single most troublesome obstacle, self imposed or otherwise that you would love to see shifted in your personal consciousness to one side, to allow the REAL YOU to emerge and/or re-emerge?

    Plenty more questions where this little lot came from, if any of you would appreciate me asking more questions of this nature covering more specificly different topics, that encompass the entire jw experience, what might those questions be? (Sometimes, I just wish I knew of all the right questions to ask to generate the most good, know what I mean?)

    Take care all of you.

    Celtic Mark - Falmouth, Cornwall - UK

    Edited by - Celtic on 2 August 2002 12:33:18

  • onacruse

    Wow, quite a package of questions!

    I am currently struggling with recent disfellowshipping, extended unemployment, and post-traumatic divorce syndrome. May be self-deluded, but I feel absolutely NO sense of inadequacy or low self-esteem. I know why I was df'd, and it wasn't for good cause (the JC chairman later told me and my elder-dad the same). I know why I was laid off, and I was right (my upper management was subsequently laid off for incompetence). I know why I was divorced, and it was her choice, not mine (she was married 2x before, and had a deplorable childhood).

    The primary challenge I have had, literally all my life, is socialization. Oh, I can mix it up at a party, or entertain in chat, but most of the time I feel disconnected from the people around me. On the one hand, I feel like I could be a total hermit for the rest of my life. On the other hand, the last few months have revealed to me that I CAN'T live that way and feel fulfilled. A classic catch-22: I know I need the companionship of people, but don't really know how to participate in that companionship. Not even to speak here of friendship.

    Participation on this board has given me a tremendous boost, because I am accepted for what I am without judgement or reservation. Very much like the years I spent in AA, just knowing that there are other people like me makes me feel inclined to open up, share from myself and let myself be accepted by them.

    A long road ahead! Thanks for your post. It helps me think about the ruts and potholes in that road ahead of me.


  • ugg

    yes,,,very heart searching questions.......i do not have coping abilities
    henceforth,,,,i am under a doctors care,,,,antidepresants and therapy

    what tools do i wish were available to me....a person who lived in the
    same town as me,,,who i could see in person,,,and pour my guts out...
    some one who would totally understand,,,and be confidential,,,and still
    like me as a person..

    feelings???? i struggle with all feelings...every thing is mixed up...and
    i don't understand so much....maybe with time i will... to get rid of the is so consuming...

    personal obsticale!!! the need to quit thinking i am wrong...feelings
    that the organization is right,,,and i MUST PREACH this or recieve gods
    wrath...i will defend the organization yet at the same time be breaking
    all of his standards....because i cannot deal with makes
    no sense to me why i do this...but when it happens,,,i just KNOW i have
    to....then...afterwards....i am so unhappy that i did it...


    again maybe with time.....i was in 30 years....out now for only 1year...
    i still am having night it might be awhile...this site has
    helped....makes me feel "NORMAL" ( i think that is a compliment, smile)

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