Its been a few weeks since I went to a meeting. It feels strange not having a whole bunch to do every night, but I am liking it. It is starting to feel normal again. One of the hard parts of being a dub was 'the no part of the world' mentality. I was wierd, seeing everyone live normal lives and I couldn't have anythign to do with them. Everyone on TV, everyone at work, and everyone on school were 'bad association'. I wanted to be part of them, be a part of society. It felt weird not to contribute in any way to the society I lived in. I felt like a leech. Living in a society that I was no part of, not contributing to it. It is feeling pretty good now. I am socializing with people that i WANT to be with. I think that leaving the WT was the smartest thing I have ever done. Sadly it has cost me much, but I am young and can rebuild everything I have lost in a short while.
Starting to feel good
You are going to feel better and better over time truthseeker. You will make many new friends, true friends, not friends forced upon you by the WTS. I've found that most worldly people are nicer! You've got your whole future before you - enjoy it -
I don't want to overdo it. Like a teenage girl right outa catholic school and all. I just want to ENJOY my life for a change. its scary living a life you don't want to live, seeing it waste away through your fingers. I'm glad I got out when I did. I do feel like something is empty inside of me, but thats because it was part of my life for so long. Hey, if someone had a tumor on their back the size of a grapefruit and it got cut out, wouldn't they feel like something is missing? Thats how I feel. Its like a weight has been lifted. I'm not used to not being oppressed. It feels different, not bad.
I know what you mean. It is strange adapting to non-JW life, but in time you will get into your own routine, and you'll stop thinking what your former cong would be doing on meeting nights.
I agree, it is like a huge weight lifted off you. Enjoy your freedom!
You know what's really weird? Try explaining to a non JW how JW's are supposed to go to 5 meetings, go out in the field ministry, personal study. refrain from birthdays, holidays, worldly people, marry and date only JW's, ETC.....then you'll feel really good about your decision and yourself.
I have only been "away from it all" for about two years.
My experience can be summarized like this:
"You can take Chelbie out of the WTS, but you can't take the WTS out of Chelbie" meaning that
a lot of the mental programming can't be undone by a snap of your fingers. I still feel like an
explorer in a foreign soil. You will feel more comfortable with yourself in time. It's not like you are going to go out tomorrow and get a bunch of satanic tatoos or start doing immoral stuff ---because if that isn't you then it isn't you. That's OK-- be true to your principles. Take your time and enjoy your free evenings without boring meetings!
Edited by - YoursChelbie on 2 August 2002 3:10:2
Sadly it has cost me much, but I am young and can rebuild everything I have lost in a short while.
Amen to that! And just keep that in mind. Everyday gets better and better, and the new little joys you find in life are amazing. You'll be in a giddy state every time you do something normal that you never got to experience before. At least I am. But I eat a lot of paste, so I dunno if you should be listening to me...
Congrats! Life is grand!
Like a teenage girl right outa catholic school and all.
Yeah, I'd like one too.
But I eat a lot of paste, so I dunno if you should be listening to me...
well.....are you sure it's just paste joanna--i thought both our brains were clogged with malted hops and bong resin. heehee.
yes truthseeker, it does get better. the things you already treasure and love about your 'new life' will only get better. and not to toot the MN horn, but if you live close, come party with us--we rock