As I was performing my evil nightly Pagan ritual of paging through the threads on JWD, a thought "came across" my mind - all we ever really do here is slag the Tower. Now, while this is without doubt one of the most fun activities ever invented, especially considering the fact that many of us gave up very large parts of our lives in the Service of this Book Publishing Company formerly known as a Religion, and also taking into account the fact that some of their more ludicrous doctrines wouldn't be out of place in a Monty Python film, it does seem a little bit one-sided. "People" like Comforter, NYT, and of course the venerable HildaBlingBling have repeatedly stressed that we should completely ignore the rampant child abuse, Society-sanctioned murder in exchange for getting your child's mugshot on the Awake magazine, more Society-sanctioned murder for less glamorous purposes such as not buying political party cards for 25 cents, and so forth, in favour of concentrating on the GOOD aspects of the Society!
Now, I for one think that this is a tremendous idea! So, to start the ball rolling and the Tower falling, here is a short list of good things I can remember about the Society:
- No doubts. Doubters are automatically DFd, therefore no Dub has doubts. Excellent.
- Great family values and morality. Following in the time honoured tradition of most religions, the Bible encourages the viewing of women as property, and suggests kindly that a women is inferior to a man, always. This leads to delightful, peaceful family life.
- No child abuse in the Organization. Yes, we never hear about anything like that being done by a Brother, now do we? Ask any Witness!
- A Clear Mind: Yes, after you take out all that wordly clutter such as the heinous "independent thought" and of course the dreaded "logic", what's left is a hollow, pure, Christian!
- "Interesting" Doctrine: Yes, you never know what the Governing Body are going to pull out of their hats this time! What an exciting time to be a Witness!
- Getting a College Education From The Awake Magazine: Truly, the Brothers (and Sisters if they're not naughty) can rejoice in the wealth of biased information to be found in the Awake and Watchtower magazines! Please take care not to read any of the old ones though, Brothers.
- Clear Clothing Standards: For boys: Suits. For girls: Dresses down to the ankles. That's it! (Note: Even though in the Society boys are superiour to girls, this does not mean that boys are allowed to wear dresses, this is actually only allowed when they are dressing up for Dramas).
- Great Acts of Charity: What greater Act of Charity is there than waking people up early on weekend mornings when they are recovering from their hard-partying "worldly" lifestyles to tell them they're going to become birdfood if they don't join your cult?
- Beautiful Kingdom Halls: Few of the Halls have windows - who needs to look outside when you have the Watchtower magazine?
- Wonderful Illustrations: Those beautiful paintings remind us that anyone who doubts every utterance from the Governing Body will get "consumed by the ground" and become birdfood! Graphical depictions are provided to scare the living bejesus out of your kids too, to make them pay attention at meetings!
Anybody care to add any more?
Edited by - SYN on 29 July 2002 14:18:3