Hi everybody,
I've been a long-time lurker and very occasional poster (it took me months just to make it to Junior Member) on this board but never got round to introducing myself properly, so I've decided to make a fresh start with a new persona - my potted biog's on 'Personal Experiences', if you're that interested, LOL
Anyway, to put things as briefly as possible... I was born into the WT through my mother (30+ yrs. baptised); never made it as far as baptism (thank God), though I did make one concerted effort about 10 years ago when I was living away from my home town which was rejected on the grounds of insufficient hours - although I was regular, I didn't always make 'the ten' - I always found door-knocking a huge struggle...
Fast forward... I finally went through quite a dramatic 'divorce' from the BOrg several years ago, mainly as a result of a major personal crisis (alcoholism) partly fuelled by raging cognitive dissonance - recovery meant I finally had to take a long, hard, honest look at who/what I was, and the rest was history...
I tried to keep my thoughts to myself, knowing the shitstorm that would be unleashed if my family found out, but an ill-advised disclosure to a family member who was going through their own struggle with the WT but who wasn't as 'out' as I'd thought made for the inevitable consequences...
Today, my sibs shun me, but I'm very thankful to have a far healthier relationship with my mother than I've ever had; although she did take it hard, I think the parental bond can overcome a lot (she supported my sister throughout her DFment), though I'm well aware there are many, many others who haven't been so fortunate...
Anyway, to cut to the car chase... for a while, the issue of my 'official status' came up every so often - since I was never baptised, there seems to be some uncertainty as to whether I should be 'officially classed' as an apostate... generally, though, things with my mother have been fine. The other week, though, I met my father (not JW, but as I like to call him, a 'camp follower') in town and he brought the whole thing up again for the umpteenth time, saying that the issue was still troubling my mother (although I do remember her telling me some time ago that, even if she was told by the elders that I should be shunned as apostate, she couldn't go through with it).
Now, all this time, I've kept my own counsel on the WT where my mother's concerned, for the sake of a quiet life; but now I've come to the point where I am seriously sick and tired of the WT's malign influence continuing to interfere in my relationships, so I think I'm finally going to have to bring the issue up with her. The line I'm thinking of taking is along the lines of: 'Do you think I am a better person than I've been before? Do we have a better relationship than we've had before? Have I ever tried to interfere with your activity as a JW?' I'd then stress that we'd both lose should she 'decide' (i.e. be pressured by elders or others) to shun me, and for what? To satisfy organisational rules (I'd then use a few scripture references to point out what Jesus thought of religious rules - "I want mercy and not sacrifice," etc.)
All this is as much for her benefit as mine - it angers me that the WT's dogma is continuing to cause her this distress; in fact, and this may be totally wishful thinking on my part, I wouldn't be surprised if she might not be approaching her own 'crisis point' through all of this, or at least starting to seriously think about things....
Anyway, that's my story; all I'm really asking for is for you good people on the board to give me the benefit of your experience - I'm sure there's plenty of you out there that know what this feels like...
Regards, CF
"They never told me what was the truth - just a young man losing his youth..." - 'Bear Cage', The Stranglers