Tales from the Watchtower - Story 1

by Mister Biggs 9 Replies latest jw friends

  • Mister Biggs
    Mister Biggs

    Owshae, a young man from Africa, was 'playing his pipe' one night when he suddenly went blind! "I was shocked!", he exclaimed. It has been said that people can instantly go blind from excessive masturbation. Satan is the ruler of this wicked system of things and he is blinding the mind (and eyes) of unbeliever's (and mastubator's!).

    Fortunately, through fervant prayer, Owshae began studying the bible with Jehovah's Witnesses. He progressed to the point of baptism and he serves in the African Bethel Branch as a full-time publisher and elder. "Jehovah has truly blessed me. While I no longer 'choke the chicken' I am still blind. But, just as Jehovah has cured my masturbation addiction, surely in His grand new system of things He will cure me of my blindness!"

    Are you struggling with self-abuse? If so, seek help from the elder's. Give them every detail of your escapades. Yes, you may face discipline, but would it not be selfish to keep this sin hidden?

    By confessing our wrongdoings we can have full confidence that our loving creator will bless us and will "see" to it that we don't go spiritually blind.

    Edited by - Mister Biggs on 18 July 2002 10:14:11

  • Francois
    Francois

    Hah. I heard about that, too. "Choke the chicken and you'll go blind," they said.

    I said, "Well, can I just do it till I need glasses?"

    Didn't like that. Nope. They didn't like that at all. I still wear glasses however.

    Francois

  • Mister Biggs
    Mister Biggs

    Yup, Francois!

    In the youth book they said something to the effect that "some experts have concluded that masturbation can lead to blindness".

    When I was a kid my dad (never a JW) questioned my mom as to how she can be a part of a religion that teaches such crap!

  • belbab
    belbab

    Back around the late sixties, a young brother in Canadian Bethel, suddenly, not gradually, went blind. He was sent home.

    Now maybe the cause of his blindness was the fact he was in Bethel. But then again, maybe he was also was 'choking the chicken'.

    At that time, the book by Hans Selye, The Stress of Life, had recently been released. This book was ground breaking and has now become famous. It demonstrates how stress influences internal organs until finally disease takes over.

    I lent this book to him, I thought it may help him. The next day he returned the book, considered as demonized, because by this time I was already marked as an apostate.

    A few years later, an Awake mag feature an entire issue on The Stress of Life, so I guess the subject was now sanctified and the WT now claimed new light status for it.

    belbab

  • zenpunk
    zenpunk

    I think they should have an article entitled: "Masturbation Prevents Bitchiness".

  • Mister Biggs
    Mister Biggs

    belbab...

    Great story!

    zenpunk...

    LOL!

  • metatron
    metatron

    Just for fun

    Tell an audience that science has proved that masturbation does
    actually promote growth of hair on your palms.

    Then see how many guys unconsciously look at their open hands.

    metatron

  • scumrat
    scumrat

    Can I do it just till I need glasses???

  • SYN
    SYN

    Mister Biggs: SERIOUSLY? I don't remember reading anything like that in the Youth Book!

  • nita6368
    nita6368

    Mister Biggs,

    Thanks for the laugh, I am at work sitting at my desk cracking up. I just read another thread where you told the guy he looked like Richard Dawson, which struck me as funny but this was great

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