Why don't you just leave?

by beroea 8 Replies latest jw friends

  • beroea

    Many still inside facing all the wrongdoings and still go on to the meetings, keep preaching the good news from door-to door and all the duties of the normal JV lives. Are you one of those - or were - that for a long time, what really what made you stay even coming to the point of no-believe in the chronology and the GB?

    There were at time of facing the truth of the Truth. Many live with that knowledge and still didnt do anything about it for at time. What did go though your head and made you go on like nothing?

    In the boat


    Edited by - beroea on 10 July 2002 18:30:26

  • cellomould

    I take it from your name that you 'Examined the Scriptures' (was not that exhortation for the Beroeans?) and found them to be uninspiring? I did too. I did not sit around long when I saw the light.

    Despite the oppressive nature of the JW system, it is still a support group that many find difficultly leaving.


  • Perfection Seeker
    Perfection Seeker

    For me- my parents started studying when I was 5- so I was automatically "in". I stopped believing years ago, but continued to be a JW bystander- just so I could have the "luxury" of seeing my family & friends, and not being shunned. I was disfellowshipped- moved in with my husband about a year before we got married. I wanted to get back reinstated so I could talk to my family. Now, I refuse to go to meetings & be battered with all that guilt. I just took everything as gospel- that was how everyone viewed the bible, etc- then I opened my eyes & did my own research, and I truly believe that the WTS is not the ONLY link to Jehovah.

    Some people stay in out of fear, or family/friends obligations, or not knowing life outside.

    Noone can force another person in or out- everything must come when its right for YOU.


  • Marilyn


    Though nothing is ever simple is it? My husband and I left when there was no internet, no books (that we knew of) and no so called apostates to talk to. So we basically took a very long time to think our way out of it. We must have muddled along for about 3 yrs, trying to work out what we believed. For the last year I couldn't go witnessing because my conscience wouldn't allow it. In the end we were just going thru the motions and I think it was just habit. Plus fear of leaving an established lifestyle (as crumby as it was). We had to start over with making friends etc. It was the late 70's and it was scary at first.

    One thing that helped us was the birth of our 2nd child. He was a screamer 20/24 hours. It seemed an excellent time to stop the treadmill of meetings. (every cloud has a silver lining eh?)

    I didn't know we'd be disfellowshipped for leaving. Had I known that I might have been forced to pretend for much longer.


  • Satanus

    Once i saw, from franz' book, that they weren'y god directed, i was shocked. I went through several days of grief. Then for the next year, i tried to get others to see the truth about the truth. I didn't support the wt for a minute, after i saw what it was. But i didn't withdraw from the people, my supposed 'friends' and family. They withdrew from me, after a year.


  • not interested
    not interested

    at the age of 16 i wanted to leave, actualy had it all planed out my cuz and i were out of there, but at the last minute i backed out. WHY? because of the fear of losing my family and friends and every thing i had ever known,scared of where to go and what to do.

    no at the age of 30 actualy 28 when i left im dealing with these things.

    some of the people i know that are still in are there for the same reasons not wanating to lose family and friends and not knowing where to go, its so sad how much control the borg has over the minds of the members

  • Beck_Melbourne

    I didn't leave when I first lost the desire to be a jw...I stayed in for a couple more years for no other reason than family. Being a 3rd generation jw makes it all the more difficult to leave. What tends to happen is (in my opinion) people start to cover up their worldy behaviour and continue to go to meetings and field service etc, for fear of being shunned, gossiped about, and humiliated by family and friends...but internally they struggle with who they really are and the type of life they really want.

    The fear of displeasing Jehovah stayed with me after my initial exit. Apostasy is recognised in dubdom as one of the greatest sins, and even though I didn't want to be a JW any longer...I feared the consequences of apostasy. Its not until now (4 years out) that I have come to recognise the full concept of mind control and cult/sect practices. And the freedom from that fear is unbelievable.

    It all takes time.


  • sisteract

    easier said than done---i pondered long and hard before making my stand to walk away--it was so freightening as i had to make new friends and make a living (pioneering didn't do much on a resume), i also felt like rip van winkle learning all about the world that had continued on when i lay dormant and not progressive in that controlling mind stunting group. losing all your bros. and sisters and family and friends is quite a monumental loss all at once. but it can be done as is seen here on this post even tho it's so painful and hard. it's worth it !!!!!!!!!

  • jesussaves

    I didn't just leave either. I was a 3rd gen JW, too, and I don't have any immediate family that are non-JWs. I had absolutely nobody outside the org. I stopped attending the meetings first, but I went to the assemblies. I always made up excuses about my work schedule (I was a letter carrier for the post office). The last assembly I attended, I had a ten month old baby. People looked at me funny, but I hadn't been disfellowshipped, so they still spoke to me and held my baby. The last memorial I went to I almost walked out when the elder prayed 'Jehovah, please guard everyone against independent thinking' That was the straw that broke the camel's back. I didn't cut off my JW ties until I joined a church, and had a whole new group of friends. I also married my daughter's father, which was a HUGE help. I still lived a double life, though, up until about eight months ago. I'd been going to church for four years, and my family didn't know. I finally told them, so now I don't care who knows I'm out! It was a process, though.

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