A letter to Mr. Morris

by diana netherton 13 Replies latest jw friends

  • diana netherton
    diana netherton

    Dear Mr. Morris,

    I am writing this letter to request that you have an immediate meeting with Jehovah regarding the tight pants, Spanx (I think you mean spandex) issues. It it clear from your pants rant that Jehovah has focused his attention away from the billions of people currently suffering on the planet to address this specific issue.

    Today I observed a group of witnesses in my neighborhood. It was very clear that the sisters are taking the Spanx, spandex thing quite seriously. There's a disturbing amount of jiggling going on. I think you should ask Jah to clarify if he meant the kind of spandex that is used in the production of brassieres since it appears none of the sisters were sporting any.

    They were also accompanied by a young man who was wearing baggy trousers. He is obviously listening to Jah's warning about staying away from homosexual tight pants, but unfortunately his tight pink underwear was visible. Can you also please ask Jah if this includes boot cut or relaxed fit fit trousers or are they fine? Lastly, could you ask for more light on Squarepants?

    I am sure this new light will put this debate to rest finally. You may reach me at:

    The Pineapple Under The Sea

    Bikini Bottom (are those not acceptable as well?)

  • The Searcher
  • millie210
    Diana, you really should send this.
  • punkofnice
    millie2105 minutes agoDiana, you really should send this.

    Yes. I agree. It's brill.
  • sir82
    You forgot to ask about the colored socks. Jehovah has a thing about those, too - or so Tony tells us.
  • Heaven

    I have black socks with coloured toes and heels. Are these also forbodden? I need to know pronto!

  • diana netherton
    diana netherton
    Yes, I am going to tweak the letter a bit and send it in. I've had enough of this man's diatribes. I will ask about coloured socks as well as pantsuits on women.
  • Muddy Waters
    Muddy Waters

    omg, tight pants, colored socks.... I can't keep it all straight in my mind. If I wore colored pants and tight socks, would that be okay? Or would that be pushing it? Would Jehovah forgive me, or what if this should happen to a person who is dyslexic? Could they be granted a special dispensation?

    And what about tight shirts for men? So far nothing has been mentioned about this, and I'm sure the brothers would really appreciate some direction about this too. If tight shirts are okay (at least until there is new light about this) then maybe some brothers might want to start working out or something, and then who knows how far this could go....

    After all, Remember when it was a big deal when brothers started wearing COLORED SHIRTS on the platform? In our area, the brothers went from white shirts to BLUE shirts! *gasp* I know right!?!?!? Shocking stuff. There were many elders meetings about it, and then finally someone decided it was okay after all.

    Phew. So that was a close one! But thankfully we can be assured that the brothers taking the lead would never behave anything like the Pharisees, making up silly rules on such things as these!

    So! :) Are we not pleased to receive the guidance from the only seven men on earth today whom Jehovah is using to be his earthly representatives.... Yes, they alone have the wisdom from above which can help guide us and protect us from these terrible and subtle spiritual dangers, by especially arranging a special, worldwide assembly day and days to disseminate these powerful, life-saving truths to mankind, but especially toward his own chosen people on earth today, who become fellow light-bearers and share these truths with others who might not ever know these things otherwise.

    With so so many things going on in the world today, it is good to focus on these more important things. And taking careful note. Yes, we do well to emulate these seven men on earth, these humble brothers of Christ Jesus, who take such a powerful lead over their flock of 8 million people around the earth today. Good thing these are humble, spiritual men, as otherwise they might overstep or go beyond what is written....


  • fiddler
    And if spandex is not appropriate attire for they gym what, pray tell, are we supposed to wear to the swimming pool???
  • Witness My Fury
    Witness My Fury
    • And if spandex is not appropriate attire for they gym what, pray tell, are we supposed to wear to the swimming pool???

    A thin layer of lard.

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