After 2 years my parents make contact. The end result is that I promise them to cryogenically preserve ONLY their heads

by paulmolark 90 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  Oubliette

  POM, I'm sorry I even bothered to offer advice to you. Clearly, you don't take any criticism well.

  Self-indulgent fantasies of revenge may seem cathartic, but they don't help a person grow. I'll admit, the sci-fi twist on torture you wish upon your mother is creative, but it really is just a high-tech version of hell.

  The eternal punishment and humiliation you describe betrays a mindset that is no different from the vicious desert god, Jehovah, which you claim to hate.

  That you would devote so much vitriol against me merely because I described your version of justice and retribution as "mean," tells much about you.

  You have taken offense to my personal opinion about one aspect of your OP and made that the sole focus of your comments directed at me. Yet you have failed to respond to any of my comments intended to be constructive and helpful.

  I'm glad you were able to "save" your family from the cult.

  Your mean-spirited comments about my children are very unkind and hurtful. But I guess that's just who you are.

  Oubliette
  
• 

  3rdgen

  paulmolark, I'm glad you went into more detail about your childhood, her letters her slander etc. It flushed out her character or should I say lack of it. It made me ponder my and hubby's parents who had many things in common with yours.

  One of the conclusions I came to is that this phone call was a result of her wanting to APPEAR to the audience she had in her house that she was taking the high road to invite you back to the borg. The truth is she was using the occasion to intentionally publicly humiliate you. She knew full well you would have a negative reaction to her call. She wanted to use that to garner SYMPATHY from the crowd. Poor me. my child is such a bad JW, is neglectful, mean, yada yada.

  How do I know this? Hubby and I had dealt with mothers with similar pathology. It's a form of Munchausen's syndrome for attention and sympathy. They frequently would save their cutting remarks, put downs, and embarrassing stories for the Kingdom hall, the family, even strangers. If they run out of insults they use out and out lies. They love the DRAMA.They get some sort of sick pleasure watching your public humiliation.

  my 2 cents from a fellow survivor.
• 

  millie210

  Paul, if you really want to know why I thought that was so very below the belt, I can tell you.

  I just got the impression you would rather not hear it.

  What you did by dragging in his children was the part that was wrong.
  

  There is a difference in Obliette saying something about you and you saying something about his children.

  When he says something about you - you can see his point or you can outright disagree. It is all within your personal choice.

  When you bring up someones children, that person has no choice. Due to the age of the children or due to the excessive influence of the religion, or both - that person has got NO choices or say in the matter. They are helpless and vulnerable in that regard. Their love for their children is all they have. They have no control.

  That is why we need to be careful with one another

  I have thought so many times about what Giordano said about us here on these threads all being each others tribe. We have all been hurt and abused by a religion. It has changed the way people we love treat us.

  We are all aware of that. We have a chance here to help each other.

  To be the person we could have been without this religions influence.
  

  Usually when people tangle with each other I just scroll on by.
  

  I frankly should probably have just kept my opinion to myself

  I didnt mean to make you feel picked on or criticized
• 

  paulmolark

  Your mean spirited comments about me were very unkind and hurtful. But I guess that is just who you are as well.

  It took one click for me to see your posts that were just as bad

  1. Sometimes I feel a little cheated that there isn't such a god, for he surely would severely punish the likes of the self-appointed "Governing Body of Jehovah's Witnesses" for their many lies, hypocrisies and errors.

  2. Furrowing my brow, I said, "That's an odd question!" which threw him off a bit. Pausing just long enough for the full-effect to sink in, but not long enough for him to actually respond, I quickly continued, "I bet my meeting attendance it better than yours! I can honestly say, 'I have not missed a single meeting in over a year!' Can you say that?"

  - Although you were being witty you tried to avoid telling the full truth on the matter. You are a deceitful person afraid to tell people who you are and what you are really about.

  3. She said, "Are you saying we don't need to go to the meetings?"

  Now, not wanting to be branded an apostate, I hedged. "No I did NOT say that.

  Deceit again

  4. What I hate/detest/deplore and find incredibly annoying is when posters:

  • Cut & Paste an entire article without any editing or commentary!

  Seriously!

  What's the point?

  It's just lazy.

  More arrogance on your part as if people have to cater too and listen to whatever you say and enjoy it.

  ==================================================================

  So on the first click of your posts you also WISH THERE WAS A GOD, not so you could get to know him and benefit from it or grasp the many wonders of the world... instead you feel cheated her doesn't exist so he could make the GB pay. Men that you followed out of your own free will.

  You were purposely deceitful to people you know because you are afraid of being your genuine self in front of them

  You also condemn your "TRIBE MATES" because of their personal choices. How about you let go of your self-importance and learn that when you criticize people or offer your opinion someone else might come back with ones that you do not like.

  Also remember that before you blame someone for being so scared that they can't move on make sure you have not made a point similar.

  The audacity to condemn me when you foolishly state you feel cheated there is no GOD because you wish physical harm on men that you as a grown man chose to follow.

  Pot meet Kettle
• 

  paulmolark

  "They frequently would save their cutting remarks, put downs, and embarrassing stories for the Kingdom hall, the family, even strangers. If they run out of insults they use out and out lies. They love the DRAMA.They get some sort of sick pleasure watching your public humiliation."

  This is her in a nutshell. When my sister literally ran away from home because of this she made up the most atrocious lies about her. Made sure she told them all to people at every opportunity. She would cry at the meetings, get up and run to the bathroom in tears. People would huddle around her as she sobbed. Then get home and be perfectly fine. We were all afraid to ask her why she was lying because we knew what would come next. LOL

  Are you actually a 3rd Gen witness?
• 

  hoser

  Your family dynamic sounds a lot like mine although mine was not nearly as severe as yours.

  You and your sister were the scapegoats and your other sibling was the golden child that could do no wrong.

  My oldest brother and I got the short end of the stick literally and my other brother is the favoured one. The oldest was smart enough to leave the Jws before he was baptized.

  Even though I am still in there is no point in talking to my mother. I am a failure in her eyes. Any thing that I accomplish she puts me down. I'm never good enough for her. So I ignore her. It really pisses her off because she can't control my life.
• 

  paulmolark

  Hoser, there is something about 3's LOL. You are right, it doesn't matter what you do/say/believe it is never good enough... but as soon as you stop caring about what she thinks she goes beastmode and tries to ruin you.

  You sound like you have the situation well in hand though.
• 

  3rdgen

  "Are you actually a third gen witness?"

  Yes. My father was born in 1907. His mother (who died before i was born) became a Russellite about 1900.

  My mother was born in 1918 to a father who became a Russellite in 1914. In my case a generation was nearly 50 years! LOL
• 

  Giordano

  After reading your account and the abuse you and your sister suffered it seems that you were raised by a person who might be a Sociopath. I don't mean that as an excuse but a reality check.

  See if any of the following fits:

  "Sociopaths tend to be nervous and easily agitated. They are volatile and prone to emotional outbursts, including fits of rage. They are likely to be uneducated and live on the fringes of society, unable to hold down a steady job or stay in one place for very long. It is difficult but not impossible for sociopaths to form attachments with others. Many sociopaths are able to form an attachment to a particular individual or group, although they have no regard for society in general or its rules. ........................" https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/wicked-deeds/201401/how-tell-sociopath-psychopath

  I agree with you given your Mother's history. She is highly toxic and you are fortunate that she has not only renounced you but also your family.
  

  Island man had the best approach however I'd just say that "my mother was never a loving mother and unfortunately she passed away a number of years ago.

  Shunning is a two way street.

  P.S. Saving their frozen heads was excellent.

  
  

  
  
• 

  hoser

  You sound like you have the situation well in hand though.

  
  

  not it totally my friend but I am getting there. We live a very long distance from my parents so it makes her easier to deal with.

  I'm not sure if it is narcissism or sociopathy but there is definitely some mental disorder to treat some if your kids like shit and others like princes.

  Even when I was full on in this religion and I had a good experience in field serve us she would find fault with me telling me why I didn't do this or that better. When I was a ministerial servant why wasn't I an elder?

  Now that we are marginal witnesses and I am "materialistic", whatever that means, she really tries to put the screws on. She left a message a couple of months ago telling me she loves(puke) me and to phone her because she wants to hear my voice. What she really wants is to get details of my life so that she can criticize me for missing meetings and not going in field serve us.