Bad JW Dating Experiences

by zenpunk 9 Replies latest jw friends

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  zenpunk

  For a short period of time I experienced the joys of dating within the organization. Here are two of my personal examples:

  I dated a guy for about a month who's mother (in her late 30s by the way) was supposedly of the "anointed". She said the angles spoke directly to her and, when I visited their house it was piled to the ceiling with clothes from yard sales. She loved to buy used clothes and put them in piles. She also had a big ol' vibrator on the bed that my "boyfriend" insisted was for her neck when I asked him about it. It was quite an interesting shape! I broke up with him after a month - 'cause he was a little bit out there, if you know what I mean.

  I also dated a guy, an elder's son, that one day when I stopped by to find out why he wasn't at the Sunday meeting, found him in bed with his 15 year old cousin. Of course he denied it and I remember the elders had the nerve to counsel me that because of the two witness rule, I had to wait for Jehovah to bring it out - all while I was sobbing in the back of the Kingdom Hall (we dated for about a year and had plans to get married). When I look back at that situation it just sickened me.

  So - any more good stories out there?
• 

  MrMoe

  in bed with his 15 year old cousin

  Ewwwwwwww gross! I mean that is some sick stuff.

  Do I have any funny dating stories to tell? None of my own and surely none that I can post here...

  Kisses,

  Moe
• 

  HomebutHiding

  My then boss, an elder, pushed and pushed until I finally agreed to meet and have lunch with his son, a brother. I did so, reluctantly. About an hour into the "date", he suggested I would be far more attractive if I wore my skirts a little shorter. I (always a fast thinker with a fresh mouth) responded, "When you start looking like Paul Newman, I will take up the hems of my skirts." We did not date again. PS He was nowhere close to Paul Newman...more like Alfred E....hahahha
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  SYN

  Thankfully I didn't have any of those...good grief....
• 

  jack2

  Good one HBH...love the Newman joke!

  zen, your experiences were very painful, wow!

  As for me, I only dated one jw, and I did post something about it in a thread about chaperones. However I'll add that about two weeks after she told me that I was "the one", she dumped me.....and three months later she was married. Kind of tells me what was going on behind my back, lol.
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  Lost Diamond

  I ended up marring the only JW I ever dated....met him when I was 16 and married when I was 22. He was 21 when I met him.....what he saw in a 16 yr old puzzles me. That was the worse and most stupid mistake I ever made!! Dating was very dificult when you have to be chapparoned and closely supervised all the time.

  The best thing that did come out of it are my two beautiful children whom I adore more than anything else in this world!
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  DakotaRed

  I only dated once as a JW and ended up marrying her. Was it funny? Not even close. It has been the most miserable 8 years of my life. The house was let go in favor of study and meetings. Meals became frozen meals (I like real food and am willing to cook it myself). Her kids, 3, are totally undisciplined, but held in high esteem by the elders. Neither the wife or her kids were very big on personal hygeine. I managed to get the kids keeping cleaner, but not the wife. They went through money like it grew on a tree and if I complained, then I was just being unreasonable.

  We separated, finally, a few months ago. I spent most of last week, taking a week offf rom work, repairing walls in the house and repainting them. I know they are not indicative of all JWs, but being chewed out by elders because I complained about the lack of upkeep in the house was too much for me to bear. I often heard the old tired excuse of, "keep meeting attendance up and out in service and all the rest will take care of itself."

  I'm still waiting for some angels to come help get the house back in order. Pardon me if I don't hold my breath while waiting.

  Lew
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  terafera

  Lew, I'm sorry to hear about what you've been going through. I'm not saying it is the case with all jw's, but I have certainly met many like your (soon to be) ex... not caring about personal appearance or the house...just getting in those hours. I hope one day you get to meet your soul mate who is interested in this life.

  zen, I'm sorry..but the first story you told made me crack up laughing!! Did we know the same family??? I dated a brother who's mom was 'annointed'..she told me the angels talked to her too. I never saw her 'neck' massager, LOL, but who knows?

  My story, maybe not so funny.....I was living in a complex that was owned by a jw family (the dad an elder, mom was a regular pioneer, sons were MS's, etc). They rented to mostly jw families. The elder's son would invite me over to watch tv at night while the parents were vacationing in Mexico. We would rent movies, go for drives all night in his truck...I thought he was really nice.

  One night, he comes over and knocks on my door quietly and asks me if I want to come over to 'talk'. Sneaking out so my family wouldnt hear me, I creep over and watch some tv (on his futon, no less). He kept encouraging me to help him finish off his beers, so I did (being a gracious guest ). Before long, we're making out...and some heavy pornication ensues. A few weeks later, I'm being brought to the elders... his dad was there, even though he was an elder from a different cong than the one I went to. They said 'Steven told us about what you got him into'. I was in shock. I guess he got some remorse over being sexually seduced by this harlot, LOL. They were mortified that this rebellious woman got her hands on such a respectful MS. I was sick to my stomach..but at the time, I was totally into being a j-dub so took my lashings with my head down. I was announced as 'unapproved association'...I never heard that any announcements were made about him.

  A few years later, I confessed to a sister what I had 'done'...she said it was not surprising and that he had a long record of fooling around with sisters and blaming them for it. Eventually, he was disfellowshipped for fooling around with another jw girl. And I had been feeling guilty all that time!!!!!

  I see him now and then, in restaurants....he has 4 kids with a jw woman, lost his good looks and has gained alot of weight. He smiles at me and I just roll my eyes and look away. What a loser!
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  Farkel

  HomebutHiding,

  : PS He was nowhere close to Paul Newman...more like Alfred E....hahahha

  Hey! I resemble that remark!

  Farkel

  Edited by - Farkel on 25 June 2002 19:18:54
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  zenpunk

  Terafera-

  The guy with the "anointed" mother was in Florida. Anyway, I feel sorry you had to experience that incident. We had a "Farm" boy at our congregation that used to pull the same sort of stunts. Fortunately, being as unpopular with the boys as I was, I wasn't a target. What was interesting though is that a few years after he arrived at our hall he got in a serious car accident. 5 sisters from surrounding congregations fled to his bedside, all claiming to be his girlfriend!