The Babble and how it was really created.

by Doltologist 1 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Doltologist

    We were just some guys who were down on their luck

    We needed some cash, so we just wrote a book.

    We all ‘knew’ Mary, so we gave her a part

    She was far from a virgin, just some skinny tart.

    We said she gave birth in a stable one night

    Seriously though, who’d believe all this shite?

    Her baby then had a visit from kings,

    People believe the strangest of things.

    An angel in the stable provided some light,

    Whilst catholic priests phooked their flocks by night.

    We thought a crucifixion would make people sad,

    Essentially it’s a story about this bloke and his dad.

    So we went to publishers and showed them the score

    But most of the barstards just showed us the door.

    But one in particular liked it and said

    This book’s a winner, it’ll keep us well fed.

    It’s an interesting story, it’s got a good plot

    But I have to say, that believable it’s not.

    This jesus bloke seems slightly insane

    I don’t like his handle, but what’s in a name?

    Ah, I see, he was killed on a cross

    That’s no big deal, who gives a toss.

    Some parts are sad, some parts are funny

    This book, my dears, will make lots of money.

    The first run of the book, sold in double-quick time

    The people were queuing with no end to the line.

    It made lots of money, the good life we tasted

    We spent some money on whores and the rest we just wasted.

    We had slaves and servants and graces and airs,

    We didn’t give a toss, we were millionaires

    We printed yet more books but they kept selling out,

    We had no time left for just pissing about.

    Then someone said, ‘I don’t give a phuck’,

    ‘I wish we’d not written this bleedin’ book’.

    We were so pissed off with the damned fateful tome

    That we switched off the presses and all phucked off home.

    (And that’s when all the problems started)

    I was at home screwing some whore,

    When all sorts of people knocked on the door.

    There were men dressed like women and looking right knobs,

    They called themselves priest, they all wanted jobs.

    The book tried to thrill, it tried to impress,

    But how can you take seriously a man in a dress?

    There were people cheering and running amok,

    The phuckers were queuing right round the block.

    When I first found out, I cared not one wit,

    When I realised that people had swallowed our shit.

    It was only a joke, this wasn’t planned,

    We’d really phucked up, it’s got out of hand.

    I told them Jesus of Nazareth, he doesn’t exist

    We just made him up one night we got pissed

    It’s a story about some knob-headed bloke

    You’ve got to believe us, it was only a joke.

    None of it’s real, we were taking the piss,

    You can’t feed five thousand with five loaves and two fish!

    The next thing we knew, we were in jail,

    We’d been sentenced to hang and no chance of bail.

    Were we to be punished for the shit in the book?

    No. We were found guilty of some blasphemy phuck.

    Please oh god, please make them desist,

    Oh shit, just remembered, you don’t exist.

  • WTWizard

    If only it was simply a book of fiction, it wouldn't be too bad. It is, however, a book of black magic against the masses. In it, they curse us to damnation and enslavement. Anyone that is stupid enough to believe that we are inherently sinners (and that is most people that read that stupid damnation book) is going to seek salvation within the same platform--and find Jesus. That thing is nothing more than the archetype of the perfect slave. And the same damnation book asks believers to emulate this perfect slave, hence becoming the perfect slave.

    If anything, this book is the perfect embarrassment for the nation of Israel, which claims it as its history. Anyone with half a brain can see blatant examples of Israel destroying nations just because they don't worship the same god throughout the whole book. From Genesis to Revelation, between physically fighting the nations around them to having their messiah fighting from heaven, this is the perfect embarrassment. I, for one, would be extremely embarrassed to have this type of history.

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