About 7 years ago, I wrote a DA letter. Here is the entire text:
To whom it may concern,This is to notify you that I no longer consider myself one of Jehovah's Witnesses.
I DA'd because the jaydubs no longer fit the person I was becoming (that is, Not a Judgmental She-Prick). Nobody, elder, publisher or what have you, ever responded to that DA letter (good riddance!)
Then I became a Unitarian Universalist. It was a great place to be.
In February I realized that I was much more Pagan than UU. But most of the pagans I know are also Unitarians, so I let it be. But then I began to notice that the same church things that had refreshed me seven years ago were beginning to oppress and tire me now. So I wrote another DA letter. Like this:
Dear Katie [pastor of this church],It's with mixed feelings that I inform you of a decision that has been creeping up on me since last February.
Like Sally Y. and Debbie N., I, too, am leaving the church; for the same reason ["following other spiritual paths"].
It's nothing that the church or its members have done; they've been good companions while I took some desperately needed years to figure out what I truly believed, and recall who I was. But, like Sally and Debbie, my spiritual path is taking me in directions that UU isn't really built for - nor should it be, really.
UU is a good thing as it is. I wouldn't change it for all the crystals and hot tubs in Esalen. But I need much more glamour and weirdness in my spiritual life than UU can - or should! - supply. My gratitude for the church's help has made me reluctant to face this fact.
Yet it's only when I follow these new urges that I regain the freedom and power that I first tasted in UU six years ago. I prize loyalty, but - once again, I've landed in a struggle to conform to what I am not. And it's nobody's fault at all.
During canvass season, I pledged $[a wad of money]. I will honor that pledge.
Sincerely,
Gently Feral
I sent copies to all the heads of the committees I was on. I've had phone calls or face-to-face talks with most of them. Rev. Katie said "It was a really nice letter, but I'm sad. So what kind of spiritual work will you be doing now?"
I can't even explain why I'm posting all this, but somehow I think the contrast is instructive.
GentlyFeral