by gumby 7 Replies latest jw friends
Since the sept. 15th 1983
watchtower about "how to treat disfellowshiped ones", no change in policy has taken place.
In spite of this....MANY ex-dubs still have family members who still smile, wave, or talk to us.....why? Did they forget the policy? Do they have their OWN opinion on how tht handle this? Is it the same attitude they have about being on this board?
My question: ..How many here, have witness families/friends, that still talk to you?
Well, I am not DF'd, however, I have told my mother and her family that I am not a JW and will never be one again.
They seem to have no problem speaking with me. I don't understand it.
I have even spouted anti-JW and apostate views and the only one who has not spoken to me is a cousin in CA, who is a MS. He has responded to e-amils, though not really friendly....just "hi, that was a good joke."
My mom's explanation is that blood is thicker than water and she love's us (my DF'd sister) more than anything.
Now you have me thinking...I am going to have to probe the relatives and try to understand why.
There certainly doesn't seem to be any unity in the religion on this one. It seems to depend on which congregation you are in, and which country, as to how DFd ones are treated. My nephew was DFd and all of our family talk to him, in fact he remarked to me the other day that JWs are nicer to him now than before he was DFd!!!!
European JWs seem a lot more relaxed about this sort of thing than the U.S. We seem to be able to re-structure what the WBTS say into a more user friendly version.
Hey puff;
Quote:...."My mom's explanation is that blood is thicker than water and she love's us (my DF'd sister) more than anything.
Now you have me thinking...I am going to have to probe the relatives and try to understand why".
Blood is thicker than water? Is disobeying the FDS less important to her? My mom says the exact same thing to me..."your my son"
As for asking them about this.....I would think twice about it. If you remind them of their policy.....they might cut you off as you have made them look like a bad example as a witness, and so as not to STUMBLE you....they may stick to policy.
Don't mess up a good thing.
Hi all,
Although I've not been da'd or df'd either, my parents definitely know my view on the borg, and still talk to me too. Don't get me wrong--I wasn't invited to my brother's wedding (his request), and I don't get a lot of phone calls from them. But still--they do talk to me, and are upset when I choose to limit my association with them--for my own sanity.
As far as whether or not to confront them with it, it will depend on the situation. Sometimes I think that conversations like that help break thru the cognitive dissonance. They won't like it at first, but it does start the mind thinking for a change. Just my 2 cents worth,
Becky
Yeah, I think you are both right...I am glad they talk to me. There have been many deaths in the last 8 months (3 now), I have a cousin with some rare cancer that comes out of his skin (not skin cancer tho), another one who just was diagnosed with Lupus and my sister has a brain tumor.
They have been very nice to me outside of funerals and death talks...I think I will let sleeping dogs lie.
Thanks for the feedback...I am kinda impulsive!
My parents have always spoken to me. At first their excuse was my husband (never a JW) and my children. But after a while they didn't use any excuses - just wanted to have a relationship with us. And since my dad was an elder, noone questioned him about it.
Now that dad is gone I spend a lot of time with my mom. Again, noone has questioned it but I think they know how much my husband and I are taking care of her and her house so they see it as "family business".
Regardless of JW policy, I'm just happy to have what contact I do.
I talk to my mom on the phone once a week, sometimes my dad if he answers the phone. Even if I'm talking to mom, she tells my dad what I said if it's something funny or whatever and kind of includes him in the conversation.
If I miss calling, she always calls during the week to tell me they missed hearing from me. So I can see that there is some effort on their part to stay in touch.
While we don't get together for meals or any family activities, whenever Dad gives a Public Talk nearby they do always make it a point to stop by for a few minutes. They're doing that tomorrow as a matter of fact.
I don't bring up the subject of how they're supposed to shun me. I did once last year when my Aunt died, that was a bit of an argument but I threw it out there about how I felt the policy was wrong and did it pretty strongly. Mom could only put up a very weak argument that "it is Jehovah's arrangement" and I told her "no, it's mens' arrangement" and she couldn't come back with anything.
I'm with you Puffs, I'll take what I can get.
Mike.
