hmmm where do I start...it has been so long since i have thot about it. I have dropped bits and pieces of my story here and there but I am gonna expand on it i suppose.
My parents became dubs when I was 2 years of age so technically I was not 100 percent born into the "troof" but at 2 who knows any different? My parents, the educated hippies that they were, were on a quest for "god" they bounced around from catholocism to judaism to u name it they tried it. We were livin on an island off the coast of maine at the time. A bridge separated us from the rest of the world, in retrospect it was a peaceful time in my life. Probably the only one I have ever really know. Anyway, 2 jdubs one a bright and sunny saturday mng trotted across that bridge and knocked on my parents door. That wud change my life forever. Another thing to remember here is that both of my parents are deaf and both rely upon american sign language to communiate and the 2 jdubs didnt know one bit of sign. (here is where i have to stop and give credit to the 2 dubs for taking the time to sit and WRITE everything out on paper! EVEN the prayers! ) Whatever they said to my parents it sold em. It was the next week that I went to my first kingdom hall.
"ignorance is bliss" thats quite a statement...I think for the first 16-17 years of my life I was so totally clueless as to what was going on around me outside of the dub life. All my friends were in the hall, my dad taught everyone in the kh to sign, i had friends and older male role models. Ahhhh what an existance. I look back and shudder at the gross levels of stupidity and ignorance that graced my thought process. At any rate that was the extent of my life until that fateful day my dad comes in and says that he is taking a job in new mexico and that the family is up and moving. Now moving aint no big deal for me been moving my whole life..shit i was born in cali and moved to maine when i was 1 and a half.
Enter new mexico...picture me-the 16 year old naive, innocent, gullible, trusting, close-minded dork from hell. I, however thought that jw's round the world were the same and that the "principles lay down within the pages of the societys publications" were followed all over. No matter where u went. Damn was I in for a surprise. Anyway this kh in santa fe New mexico I wont get any more specific than that..my parents still go there, totally distanced me and did the one thing that I just have no repsect for at all. They disrespected my parents, both of my parents have college educations, dad is a highly educated coordinator of a college level program and mom is a degreed art psychologist. OK now they aint stupid people so when I started hearing "Oh that deaf guy, I feel so sorry for him it must be awful not being able to drive" or " that poor son of that deaf couple" it was hard to swallow. So i did the only thing I could, I moved out of my parents house becuz they believed in the "troof" and if i wanted to stay with them i had to be a jw too. Well needless to say I spent a few years homeless. I met hordes of "worldlies" that totally wanted to corrupt an innocent like me. I made a whole lot of friends durin that time. The piercings, tattoos, drugs, sex, parties, raves, clubs, bars, after-parties, more sex and just basic deabuchery...i was living in a biblical analogy. I used to get a big kick outta that one. ANyway...that was about 10 to 11 years until i was burnt out, still homeless, jobless and just basically had pissed my life away.
"moving to california" My dad is mexican and as ANY mexican knows there is a tendency to have large large numbers of family within those mexican household. As such I called my tia (aunt) who lives out in cali. I had never known her or really talked to her or anythin cuz she is catholic and mom and dad always disapproved of me spending time with them. I did not know what to expect out of that phone call. A week later i was on a united airlines flight, first class mind u, paid for by my tia and a warm cozy house with a huge loft waiting for me. For the first time in my whole life I felt like I knew what REAL FAMILIAL love was. Intense feeling.
"present day"
I now have been at a good job for the last 2 years, have a beautiful daughter and with the exception of a soon to be ex wife life is pretty fuckin good! I think I owe it to a strong sense of self-will-survival. My mom and dad are still jdubs and still maintain the "shunning" relationship that he as an elder feels he has to maintain for fear of his "sheep" seeing his example of associating with a dfd person. Son or not. Whatever...I dont let it bother me anymore. So like thats me and my story...I dont think I will EVER post this big again. There are bits and pieces of my story that have been cut for size content but the general gist of it is all there. Make of it what Y'all will...
-Z-