What I Miss

FreeGirl2006

Today I had to drive by several homes of dubs I knew most of my life and it kicked off a longing I have for my siblings and the faux-friends I grew up with. Not necessarily the people in and of themselves, but people who knew me way back when. Being raised in the borg the only "friends" I had were indoctrinated. I really had no friends in school. I miss having people to walk down memory lane with, I miss sharing childhood tales of mischief with the sibs, being able to talk about my deceased mom with people who knew her. I have certainly moved on with my life and I have cobbled together a family and genuine friends, but I really can't reminesce with any of them. Just feeling the ache and loss tonight and this is one place where I know the vast majority can relate with empathy as well as sympathy.

I keep hope alive that maybe my siblings and nieces will snap out of the cult trance one day, but I temper that with the reality that they are followers rather than leaders.

ssn587

For myself I had realized years ago these were only conditional friends, that when it counted they wouldn't be there for me now I just don't care about any of them and have absolutely no desire to even converse with them. When my wife passed away, (I was only going to please her) that cut any and all contact with these make believe friends. Have no desire to even see some of them at all.

sparrowdown

When going from door to dooor I would meet people that said;

"JWs break up families"

They were right.

Creating new memories takes time.

Hang in there.

smiddy

FreeGirl2006

Its true what you say , however you have to let go of the past , you have to focus on the present and your future , we cant change or undo what has happened previously . Obviously their are happy times you had as a witness , and I bet their were Jonestown people who had happy times with their congregation before they died.

Just saying

smiddy

berrygerry

I so empathise with you.

Life is about people.

Most often built at high school, college, or work.

As JW's, we dismissed all of those evil non-JW's.

When you go out, you start from scratch.

When you are older, it is a challenge.

Witness 007

Yeah I get that feeling too...chatting with my former bible study about my pioneer days....but I know I wasted my time.

Phizzy

I empathise dear Freegirl, I feel so sad at times that we are estranged from our JW family, we loved seeing the little ones grow, but we have missed some of them totally now, not our fault, we are not DF'd or DA'd , but are seen as not worthy of an invite to any family function.

A while ago I met up with a guy that I grew up with, he was DF'd forty years ago, we have met briefly in the intervening years, but this time I spent some hours with him, having a drink etc and talking over our times together as silly young teens. It was good, for both of us I think.

We hardly mentioned anything directly JW, except when he told me of a recent nasty experience with Elders that he had, and he said "I used to be polite when they called on me, not now, I am going to put up a sign "NO Jehovah's Witnesses" "

Maybe you could hook up with someone you remember, who is no longer a J W ?

Anyway, to quote Monty Python's Life of Brian, "Cheer up you old bugger", and enjoy your freedom, and the rest of your life, let the sadness fade.

mrquik

Hi FG2006; I too, have left family & friends. I had 50 yrs. in & have been out 7 yrs. In the intervening years, I have made a number of new friends that share the same interests as me. This takes time & the conviction to move on. Keep looking forward; life is too precious to waste.

DesirousOfChange

Developing new friends takes time and effort -- lots of both.

But you will discover that these new friends will not be so casual about casting you off when you have a difference of opinion.

Good luck.

Doc

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