Sorry this is a bit long...lots of crap has happened in the past few months. I was told I had cancer, then didn't have it, then did. I really did. Then found out my best friend had pretty much the same cancer, it spread, she died this month. And of course dealing with my super dubbified husband through it all. Overall he has been supportive, overall. Not completely. So hear it goes.
So my husband is still in uber dub mode, attending all meetings and loving all that "spiritual food" dispensed by the FDS. As a recap, he was shunning me, his wife, who was never actually a jdub, (he was not active when we met, married, or the first decade of our marriage) because I started questioning the religion. I stopped going to meetings a few months ago after he threw away my CoC book saying it would bring demons into our home. He shunned me until I was diagnosed with cancer, then he realized life is short and we just don't talk about religion. So things are ok on that front.
However, this hit home even more when a close family friend (my best friend from childhood) was diagnosed with late stage cancer. I have been out of state caring for her for several weeks. She passed away. My heart is broken. I am fighting depression. It is what it is. My best friend is dead and I survived the same cancer. She was also godmother to all my kids. My kids are reeling from the loss and they also were flown out of state and pulled from school to be with her in her last days. Absolutely heart breaking.
My youngest is our only minor child and has been forced to go to meetings, field circus, and have weekly studies with the demon believing sister I once studied with, who had simply stopped showing up or contacting me when I asked those questions months back.
My child asked me to tell her dad, my husband, that she absolutely doesn't believe in the jokehovah religion and wants to stop going. She is very upset with the anti gay and other hateful teachings. She absolutely disagrees with the religion.
So last week I spoke with my husband. It went surprisingly well. She still has to go to meetings but field circus only 1 or 2 times a month and she no longer has to study with the sister. My child is ok with this for now.
So she went to the meeting with him last week, the Thursday meeting. When she gets back she looks furious and immediately pulls me aside. She then proceeds to tell me that my husband told her to look at what has happened to me since I stopped going to meetings. I started smoking again, am having work troubles...and my best friend died. He said when you stop going to meetings, you let bad things happen.
She was so mad that he tried to put me not going to meetings as the reason her godmother died. But also asked me not to tell him she told me because she doesn't want to deal with him being mad at her.
I was so angry! But now feel just sad, that he really may feel this way. At least he is compromising but wtf! Why would he even say that?