Unscripturally Free To Be Married - the Contradications

by Ohiamfree 10 Replies latest social relationships

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  Ohiamfree

  So far I have worked out 2 challenges to this ridiculous, stupid cruel imposed rule that results in disfellowshipping. They are as follows -

  (1) If someone is still scriptually married after a divorce, and moved back in with their ex, they would be disfellowshipped. HELLO? So then on what grounds did you ever mean someone was still married?

  (2) If someone in the world had got a divorce, based on unreasonableness for instance, would they be questioned on whether their ex had committed adultery before they get baptised and maybe happily get remarried? I have the feeling that it wouldn't even be discussed and would not stop someone being baptised and getting re-married because the getting baptised bit would be more important ;)

  It really is a load of nonsense isn't it? Has anyone else thought of any contradictions with this bizarre limbo rule?
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  stuckinarut2

  I know of a case where a sister divorced her husband, yet no immorality had occurred, and they remained friends on behalf of their child.

  Years later, he needed a place to live for a few weeks, and she invited him to stay with her and his daughter.

  She was hauled over the coals for implied "immorality"!

  Yet they never did anything!
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  stillin

  Ohiamfree, I never gave that any thought! I mean, of course the elders will jump on it, but, really, in the eyes of God, they are still married according to scripture.

  What a mess "organized" religion makes of everything.
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  nelim

  Good point Ohiamfree. I have also been wondering about this strange insistence upon "God's view of marriage". Only Matthew has this exception based on "fornication" (and is not even consistent with itself between 5:32 and 19:9), but Mark and 1 Corinthians don't. A lot of remarriage ruling stuff is based on 2 odd verses in Matthew. So who can say what "God's view" really is?
  

  From the elders book, someone is free to remarry if there has been a legal divorce *and* there has been adultery (either before or after divorce). So I guess that explains (1), because it would be adultery if you weren't legally married.

  In case of (2), probably no-one will prevent a person from getting baptized, why would they? But it would prevent that person from remarrying, if I may take a guess. That's the "loving" provision from Jehovah! :-P So yes, the previous mate would have to confess to adultery before the baptized one would be free to remarry. Knowing this organization, they would be consistent in these kind of things. The funny thing is though, it would only mean a trip to a prostitute could be advised for such a person before baptizing (better: before becoming a publisher) and making a confession of that. There would be no repercussions anyway, and it would make that person "scripturally free". Scriptural freedom is symmetrical in all cases; I think one of the better hidden rules of this organization. Of course they would like you to think only the innocent mate is free; that's how they put it in literature, but the elders book says something else entirely (pages 128-131).

  In this context, I heard from someone whose mate left her, and also left the organization and didn't want to speak to elders. She was not free to remarry even though he had a new girlfriend. She had to plead and plead and beg him to talk to elders about this. He eventually did, she was free to remarry, and they didn't take action on him because he was inactive or "not identified as a Jehovah's Witness anymore"..... Well I'm glad for him (who wants to be DF'ed anyway?), but was this loving towards her.... nah!
  
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  Ohiamfree

  I am afraid I disagree, an oath ends when someone breaks the oath, there can be no limbo - either you are married or you are not. If one of the marriage mates breaks the marriage then the marriage can only exist if the other person decides it can though the oath is broken. The concept of someone being disfellowshipped for divorcing a pedophile or an abusive mate and remarrying is the most ridiculous thing ever, in fact it is disgusting!
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  clarity

  Two of our exjw's were given such a hard time by the elders. They were both free to remarry but the 'sister' had no proof to show the elders without outright stalking her ex to take pictures etc of his actions. They did marry but suffered the wt consequences of 3 yrs of being df'd for disobeying elders & getting married!

  Their story is well documented on a collection of videos. Starts @ about 2:57

  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pQE0PZJT8Y4
• 

  Vidiot

  There's a fundamental irony in being so preoccupied with appearances that they legislate morality to the point of appearing ridiculous.
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  BluesBrother

  I checked some points in the latest "Shepherd the Flock " book 2012

  Re [All ]Weddings
  The elder should also make sure that the brideand groom are legally and Scripturally free to marry. If either was married before, the elder should ask to see a copy of the divorce decree to make sure that the divorce was finalized. He should also be satisfied that the divorce is Scriptural.

  Now this thorny question (around pages 128 - 131)

  Freedom To Remarry
  Scriptural freedom to remarry requires three conditions: por·neia; a rejection (refusal to reconcile) by the innocent mate; and a legal, final divorce........................................
  The following constitutes rejection by the innocent mate:
  ˙ The innocent mate initiates a divorce either before or after learning of the adultery.
  ˙ The innocent mate signs a divorce decree indicating he does not object to a divorce initiated by the guilty mate, either before or after learning of the adultery.
  .Though verbally expressing forgiveness and not seeking a divorce, the innocent mate refuses to resume sexual relations for a very prolonged period of time, a year or even years.
  Adulterous Marriage
  If a divorced person remarries and he was not Scripturally free to do so—in other words, if adultery and rejection by the innocent mate had not occurred— he has entered into an adulterous marriage. Entering into such a marriage would call for judicial action.
  16. If the disfellowshipped one was eventually reinstated, the elders would be very cautious in extending any special privileges. He could share in the cleaning and repair of the local Kingdom Hall. He may eventually give student talks in the Theocratic Ministry School if his doing so would not disturb others. However, he would not be assigned to help with literature, accounts, magazines, attendants, or similar privileges in the congregation as long as the innocent former mate is alive, unmarried, and has not been guilty of por·neia.—w83 3/15 p. 29.
  17. If a Christian did not enter into an adulterous marriage but deliberately committed adultery in a scheming way so as to end his marriage or he pressured the innocent mate to reject him and eventually agree to a divorce, he has dealt treacherously with her. (Mal. 2:14-16) His conduct is similar to entering into an adulterous marriage, and he would not qualify for special privileges for many years.

  Wow ! that is a legal minefield ..Play it wrong and you are left cleaning the toilets for "many years"..... What did The Bible say about not adding to the word?
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  joe134cd

  Actually I heard of something a few years back that resonates with other posts her. A women had divorced her husband before becoming a witness. Anyway meets a man in the jws and decides to marry. Then on meeting with the elders she is informed that she isn't free to remarry because there is no proof that her x has committed the sin. I think the 2 witness rule was also applied to this as well. She said (well at least from the gossip I heard) this is ridiculous because my x is living with a women, and you can't tell me that aren't having sex. Anyway cut a long story short she ended up having to write her x husband a letter asking him if he had sex or not, before she got the all clear. I would love to know what went through the wordly x husbands mind when he read the letter.
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  Vidiot

  joe134cd - " I would love to know what went through the wordly x husbands mind when he read the letter."