Farewell cruel world of JWs

by sparrowdown 8 Replies latest jw friends

  • sparrowdown
    sparrowdown

    IMO the most exciting thing you will ever do in "the truth" is to leave !

    That's right, no website or RC nu-lite or service meeting letter compares

    to the adrenaline rush of waking up, planning your strategic withdrawal,

    and then walking.

    My tips for a gradual withdrawal are:

    -Six months to one year is a good fade schedule.

    -Start with missing every third night meeting and then move on to sundays.

    -I found it helpful to tell some people in advance when you are not going to be there, for several reasons

    - they won't wonder where you are and start to speculate

    - the person you tell will feel flattered that you are telling them your business and will be less likely to

    jump to conclusions and rat you out to an elder

    - it gives the impression you are not trying to hide anything and doing so puts people at ease

    Of course, all this does is buy you time -time to fade on your own terms, because by the time they

    figure out something of a spiritual nature is wrong you will be strong enough to go through with your

    fade, you will see the finish line- your final meeting.

    These tips may be useful for a gradual fade rather than stopping cold turkey.

    But whatever method you choose it's a wild ride to be sure, but sooooo worth it.

    Anybody else got anything they found useful?

  • AudeSapere
    AudeSapere

    That's a very reasonable schedule.

    I stumbled on a near-perfect fade while, ironically, trying to maintain my faith in the JW org.

    I knew some things were 'off' in my own cong so I started visiting a couple of neighboring congs. Also, my family attended a hall about 30 minutes away so I would visit there pretty often. It got to the point where people assumed I was attending elsewhere and stopped asking me where I'd been. When they asked "were you at the XYZ hall last week" I would just say 'yes'. The fact that it was 2 weeks ago and I had skipped the past 3 meetings altogether were not their business.

    It also helped that I had moved out of territory several years earlier.

    I've moved again, no one knows where I live now. My home and cell phone numbers have changed and my publisher record card has probably crumpled in the back of the box.

    -Aude.

  • sparrowdown
    sparrowdown

    Good point Aude, there are two congs that meet at our hall, so step one for me was to start

    alternating between the two meetings.

    That way if you are missing at one meeting it is assumed you are at the other meeting and vice-versa.

    Now if someone says they haven't seen me for a while I just say

    "I have had the flu, but with the new website I never miss out on spiritual food."

  • This is my tigersuit
    This is my tigersuit

    i gave them a mental "f you" and quit cold turkey. told them to leave us alone. no seriosu problems so far. i was far too pissed to try the fade thing

  • NAVYTOWN
    NAVYTOWN

    Here's a simple three-step fade: Stop attending. Stop answering the phone and the door. Forget about the JWS and live your life as you see fit.

  • lurkernomore
    lurkernomore

    Hey tigersuit sounds like you made the same choice as us haha

  • redvip2000
    redvip2000

    To this day i've never found a better way to fade than to simply change congos.

    This is sometimes hard to justify unless you are actually moving, BUT a common excuse is to say that you are going to attend a foreign language congo in the same area, because you are interested in the language.

    Then, make the move. Introduce yourself to the elders in the new hall, but keep your distance and don't make friends. Once your records are transfered, immediately cut back to a meeting a week, then after a month stop completely. Nobody will really miss you At some point the elders will notice, and then it's ilness and extra hour at work bullshit time.

  • NewYork44M
    NewYork44M

    Changing congregations is one of the most efficient and effective strategies of the "fade." It may not be the complete strategy, but it should always be a component.

  • DesirousOfChange
    DesirousOfChange

    Changing congregations is one of the most efficient and effective strategies of the "fade." It may not be the complete strategy, but it should always be a component.

    Worked for us.

    Or, become so spiritually weak in your home Cong that they're no longer surprised that you miss so many meetings and eventually they don't notice that you're never there.

    Doc

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