There are times like this moment I think of taking a train to my final destination. I know I have some unfinished business ( got a wife and kids though JW), but I am really done with it. I hate my life. Everyone,even my kids, seems to walk over me... Like i am a worthless peace of shit. I have conscidered leaving... but i can't cause my two toddlers would not understand. I want peace... A new and fair beginning but that way may proove too hard anyways.
Should I take the train?!
What is your final destination?
You can escape, I promise, but you need a plan. Never forget that you are your toddlers best chance of freedom, that is not worthless at all, no matter how much other people might make you feel that way.
Can you temporarily separate yourself from the stressful situation? Move out, so you have time and personal space to think and breathe?
There is no way I could have survived going through discovering the TATT when I lived with the famiily. You do need to get away, but not permanently for the sake of your own children. As you said, they'd never understand.
Take care, lots of people on this forum watch out for each other. We're watching out for you too!
I Took A Train Once..But..
They Made Me Give It Back!.....Groucho Marx
There are times like this moment I think of taking a train to my final destination.
So, do you want to run away, or is this a euphemism? I think you probably need someone on your side. I recommend finding a psychologist who can help you take back your life. It helped me immensely, and now, around 30 years later, I'm still grateful to my psychologist for all the help I received.
I'm sorry you feel so badly -- I hope you can find someone to be in your corner and help you figure out how to live differently so you could be happier.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Phone Number
If "taking a train to your final destination" Means what I think, please talk to someone before you do anything drastic. Life has its ups and downs, things can and will get better. I am no stranger to depression, so I get why a person would consider this, I have many times. Depression can be treated and dealt with, you are not worthless, that's just the depression talking. If you have young children they need you. Depression tends to run in families, if you did this, they would grow up without you and they would quite likely end up doing what you are thinking of doing, do you want that for them? Show them by example that it's OK to ask for help, that people can deal with problems and get better, that depression can be overcome.
You are better than this
Life is a journey with ups and downs.
When you're down you can't see there will ever be an up again, but when that up comes you see things in much better perspective.
When we stop and think, often there are many things we enjoy and can be grateful for, and these things help us persevere when the going is difficult.
LisaRose is right, there are people we can reach out to when things seem to be too hard and they can support us through the worst of times.
Don't try to tackle this alone if you things are getting too hard.
When the going gets tough, the tough get going. Things will get better, promise! It's a universal law, like the tide... the down will turn into an up again. Just hang in there and you'll see it happening! And let your friends help you, by telling them how you feel and giving them a chance to comfort you! And go to a psychologist is a good advice also, I've done that and it's helped me enormously!