I am comparing what an average JW feels (who knows nothing about TTATT) to another JW who knows the TTATT. Let's label the first JW as JW-A and the other JW-B. Please feel free to share your thoughts.
It's normal for positive emotions to rise (e.g. feeling of happiness, joy, security, etc.) when JW-A is attending the KH meetings and assemblies, and participating in the field service so much so that missing these gatherings or spiritual activities makes him feel guilty, depressed or sad.
There were times in the past I myself was not happy or not comfortable being in company with non-JWs (a.k.a. worldly) whether in the office or even having a brief chit-chat with neighbors who I grew up with. There seemed to be a voice telling me “they are worldly people, limit your association, they do not know or love Jehovah, they are not a good influence, etc.” But on just the sight of a KH and the brothers, there’s a shift in my emotions. I just feel blessed and contented. When I was supposed to go out in the field ministry and was not able to do it for some reason, I felt bad. Are these feelings normal?
Now that after more than 1 year of continuing to search more about TTATT, I am more comfortable mingling with non-JWs (e.g. friends, business networks). I began to see others around me and their perspectives differently. Instead of judging those outside as worldly, calling people names, passing instant judgment, I began to be more flexible, learn to apply more the teachings of our Lord Jesus Christ about not being judgmental and finding ways to love “my neighbor” without religious discrimination. I lament fellow JW’s calling all the others or system outside of the Organization as belonging to Satan. I even hate very conservative/hardline JWs for shunning former brothers. (Before this transformation, I treated disfellowshipped ones as dead people walking that should not be touched or recognized in any form.) When the WT articles are bashing those in the outside world, judging their destruction, I feel indifferent and my eyebrows would prove it.
I began to realize that we can do other good and meaningful things outside of the Organization that can bring praise to God and His Son so why always remain a slave to the Organization and its human leaders?
While a typical JW-A feels contented or fulfilled in being a loyal JW, he/she always sees everything is just temporary under the system of things. Hence, there’s always a cloud of negativity inside him/her. Isn’t that unhealthy psychologically?
There were occasions I had missed the meetings but I didn’t really miss much the fellowship anymore. Is this a typical JW-B behavior? Can you relate to what I have been going through?
What can you say to JW-A’s positive feelings of happiness, content and security? Is this just a result of drinking what others call here as kool aid? Is he living just with illusion, living with less care, lack of practical vision and dream in the present because of the bright prospects of a new world? Would JW-A just cling to the Organization and its teachings since he feels secured and fulfilled than leave it and feel like lost in the wilderness?